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Parents gave gift and took it away
Comments
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Mine has not changed as I've always stood by if is the gifters money, their choice if they give it away, gamble it away, spend it way, their choice. Once the "GIFT" is made then it is a gift and can't be taken back as it is a gift.HampshireH said:
Yes very confusing.Waunakee said:
Just a polite reminder as to what you stated earlierjustworriedabit said:A gift is just that, no ifs, no buts. It is yours to do as you wish.
I would never gift anyone and expect it back. Yes, if i gifted someone a large amount, I may think twice next time if I felt they had misued it IMO.
If anyone is in doubt re the definition of 'gift' look it up as a gift is for life as far as I am concerned
HTH
People's opinions change I guess...... Even in a very short space of time
In the OP's case it was never gifted was it but talked about/promised and a promise is not a gift
Anyone in any doubt what a "gift" is then I suggest you look it up.
HTH and you are now not "confusing" my stance.0 -
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
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Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.6 -
HiyaSteiner_48 said:
Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
Thanks for the heads up as I read it along with many others that it was more of a promise.
I stand by what I say about a "gift" and stand by by that a gift is only a gift once hand over.
Having read you above post, I agree with you that is one big "mess of a situation."
I hope this thread makes it easier for others to make everything legal in writing even if it your biological parents.
you are paying the price but I hope others will read and benefit from your situation and learn from it.
Please move on and concentrate on your wife/family.
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Steiner_48 said:
Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
So it was originally a gift, but you essentially gave it back on the promise that you'd get it back again??
Have I got that right?
How's it going, AKA, Nutwatch? - 12 month spends to date = 2.60% of current retirement "pot" (as at end May 2025)1 -
Yes, that’s right.Sea_Shell said:Steiner_48 said:
Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
So it was originally a gift, but you essentially gave it back on the promise that you'd get it back again??
Have I got that right?1 -
But most of us remember you @justworriedabit when you were @sweetsand and none of your stories add up, and are full of contradictions, how can you expect anyone to take your posts with anything more than a pinch of salt?justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
If you weren't offering advice to some possibly vulnerable and worried people then it might be a bit funny but it isn't22 -
Whoa, stop the bus. That’s quite different to the impression you gave in the opening post. You were given £100k, you were a joint owner of the property and then you gave the gift plus any capital gain to date plus any future capital gain away in what I’m assuming was a DIY attempt at tax planning. It made absolutely no financial sense to give away the gift and any appreciation of that gift on the basis that you might one day have to pay a fraction of that appreciation in capital gains tax.Steiner_48 said:
Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.If you are confusing capital gains tax with the higher rate of SDLT for the purchase of additional residential properties because buying a home for you and your family would involve purchasing an additional residential property then it still made no financial sense to give away £100k+ in order to save a fraction of that in SDLT. Besides SDLT is based on beneficial ownership not leaving ownership so if you still expect to have a beneficial ownership in the property then the higher rate of SDLT would still be due.When I first read this thread I thought your parents had been really shady by offering a gift and then taking it away as well as treating your sibling very differently. Now I think you have been an agent of your own financial demise.1 -
I don’t know why they bother banning people from this site. Within a few weeks, they are back with a new username, posting the same disruptive stuff, and banging on about their fantasy lives,,,🙄🙄fairyclairethehare said:
But most of us remember you @justworriedabit when you were @sweetsand and none of your stories add up, and are full of contradictions, how can you expect anyone to take your posts with anything more than a pinch of salt?justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.
If you weren't offering advice to some possibly vulnerable and worried people then it might be a bit funny but it isn'tYou can tell a lot about a woman by her hands..........for instance, if they are placed around your throat, she's probably slightly upset.
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Steiner_48 said:
Apologies if I was not clear in my original post, but the money WAS gifted to me. I put it in the property under MY name while they had a share in the property. I even paid a mortgage on it and lived in it for a while until my parents wanted to use it themselves. When this happened, I wanted to get my own place that wasn’t tied to them as I entered a relationship, so I was essentially forced to sign it over when they would not sell it to release my gifted share. I could not just go and buy one with my wife (then girlfriend) as I would have had to pay capital gains tax because it would technically count as a second property even though my parents were living in it. They refused to sell, so I had to take the property out of my name for this reason on the understanding they would give me the money back when I needed it later down the line. Since then, circumstances changed and I then had to rent but now I am ready to buy, so I was expecting the gifted money from them. It’s a mess of a situation and naively I didn’t get legal advice at the time. It’s not in writing either, just plain old trust of what my parents promised, so I’m now paying the price!justworriedabit said:
No, "I am" NOT expecting anything but my husband is. The gift of money is going to be in Mr J's name, not mine. For the record if you have not been able to work it out in this thread from my posts, IE it is Mr J's uncles money, his hard earned cash/property etc until is is signed over a s gift, Should he change his mind, IE the uncle of Mr J, then that indeed is his prerogative just as much as it is to do what he'd like with it.Sea_Shell said:justworriedabit said:Just a polite reminder. It is the parents/grandparents money/estate, it is their choice. It is their choice to change their minds and I'm all for that as we do not know the full reason behind the change of mind.
Aren't you expecting a large gift from your husband's uncle? Would you be as sanguine if he changed his mind?
Have you made plans based on receiving it?
Rightly so as a good, honest husband he discuss's almost everything with me like me with him. It is a large amount of cash and it would be unwise if Mr J did not have potential plans for it and rightly so discuss with his wife and family.
Indeed, Mr J is aware uncle could change his mind but his uncles history shows that he is a man of his word. Even up until last week, when uncle rang and spoke with my husband, my husband asked him if he was sure etc.
I hope that is very clear now and I am glad to help.That is not what you said in your first post:Steiner_48 said:My parents gave me and my sibling £100K as a gift each a number of years ago. For my older sibling, there were no strings attached and she was free to go about her life with her gift, buy the house she wanted etc. For me, as I was younger and single at the time, my parents advised me to put the money into a property to share with them (in their name) as an investment for them as a second property, but for me to sell when I’m ready to use the money for a house of my own. I very naively said yes and went along with it as I trusted they wouldn’t shaft me later down the line. Now I have a family of my own and would like to use the gift so I can buy a house, but they don’t want to sell the property or give the gift back as they like having a second home. I feel betrayed as I have now been told I won’t get it until they pass away, so it is essentially now just inheritance, where as my sibling had their gift with no strings attached. I’m at a loss on what to do here, let it go to save a relationship with my parents or to take further action to fight for my family, and potentially damage the relationship forever.
All advice welcomed!
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