Arguing over a house move - who's being unreasonable

MrBrindle

Sea_Shell said:

As the loan is secured on your current home, do you think MiL would agree to "re-lend" this money and put a charge on the (any) new house?

Otherwise can you afford to move anywhere if this money has to be repaid?

What's your net equity excluding both this and your mortgage?

How much is this secured loan? ( Sorry if I've missed this up thread)

Hiya, sorry, I'd rather not use real figures - I like to be private about those things. Hope you don't mind!

I'm not excellent with financial terms, but what is net equity??

If the MIL wanted the money back, no, we wouldn't be able to afford it. The loan is around 20% the value of our house.

Sea_Shell

Net equity is what you'd have left, cash, after repayments of all loans, mortgage, if you sold and didn't buy somewhere else.

MrBrindle

sheramber said:

 I lost my job during covid, however I have a contract now which is looking likely to become full time (hopefully).
Would you be able to get another mortgage in these circumstances?

I have not explored it, but most likely not. The overall house income is less than when we applied for a mortgage years ago. My partner has spent quite a few months over the past year in her overdraft, which again I presume would work against having a new mortgage.

MrBrindle

Sea_Shell said:

Net equity is what you'd have left, cash, after repayments of all loans, mortgage, if you sold and didn't buy somewhere else.

Oh right ok, after fees and everything, I'd imagine we'd have something like 30% equity.

I should have added above. The reason we have a personal loan is because we couldn't remortgage enough for the last house purchase. So if the loan was taken away, it's highly unlikely we'd be able to remortgage enough.

Sea_Shell

Then you need to lay all the figures out in black and white to your partner and prove to her it cannot be done.

She might want the moon on a stick, but the harsh reality sounds like you can't afford it, even if it was your dream too!!!

Sea_Shell

As for giving "personal" figures, that's entirely up to you, but a rough ballpark would help clarify things, even if to the nearest £10,000 for each element.

House value
New cottage asking price

Outstanding mortgage
2nd charge loan
Current household income

Other debts/credit card balances etc.

gettingtheresometime

Sea_Shell said:

Then you need to lay all the figures out in black and white to your partner and prove to her it cannot be done.

She might want the moon on a stick, but the harsh reality sounds like you can't afford it, even if it was your dream too!!!

So what happens if the OP does that and the MIL offers to lend them some more money so that the move could be made? 

Mojisola

Sea_Shell said:

Then you need to lay all the figures out in black and white to your partner and prove to her it cannot be done.

I think I'd go the other way and say that I didn't believe it's financially possible.

If she thinks differently, let her get the figures together and prove the move is doable. 

If she does, she'll work out that they can't afford it; if she doesn't, then there are no more discussions on the matter.

Sea_Shell

gettingtheresometime said:

Sea_Shell said:

Then you need to lay all the figures out in black and white to your partner and prove to her it cannot be done.

She might want the moon on a stick, but the harsh reality sounds like you can't afford it, even if it was your dream too!!!

So what happens if the OP does that and the MIL offers to lend them some more money so that the move could be made? 

I suppose that could happen, but surely MiL wouldn't be so naïve as to lend even more money to a couple who aren't on the same page in life.

However she may lend her daughter enough "escape" money!

Sea_Shell

Mojisola said:

Sea_Shell said:

Then you need to lay all the figures out in black and white to your partner and prove to her it cannot be done.

I think I'd go the other way and say that I didn't believe it's financially possible.

If she thinks differently, let her get the figures together and prove the move is doable. 

If she does, she'll work out that they can't afford it; if she doesn't, then there are no more discussions on the matter.

Good idea, shift the burden of proof!!