Am I right to be annoyed, and if so what should I do about it.

Pollycat

tooldle said:

It definitely works. My OH was fond of eating snacks on the sofa and shoving the empty wrapper down the side of the sofa. I asked many times that he put his wrappers in the bin. Unfortunately the behaviour didn't change, so i took action.  He cycles to work and has all the necessary winter / wet weather gear. Every time I found a wrapper down the side of the sofa,  it went in the toe of his freshly laundered cycling tights. After six of so wrappers the penny dropped, and I've not needed to do it since. Most amusingly, not a word has been said on the subject.

LOL

When I first started reading, I had a vision of a mouse trap down the side of the sofa.

That probably wouldn't even have taken 6 times.

Spendless

Has he taken child's swimming stuff with him today OP? 

Rambosmum

Spendless said:

Has he taken child's swimming stuff with him today OP? 

He's working from home so is still here. But the swimming stuff is still in the drawer.

suejb2

He doesn’t sound depressed, he sounds selfish .

ontheroad1970

Pollycat said:

Dymphna60 said:

I was really responding to others posters who seem to be telling you to train him to be everything you want him to be rather than you yourself. 

I'm not sure posters have told the OP to train him.

I certainly haven't.

Up-thread on page 4 I posted that my ex-husband was doing something that irritated me. It was sheer idleness and lack of consideration for me. He was treating me as his Mother. I wasn't his Mother.

Asking didn't work.

So I did something that made him realise that by continuing as he was, things would be more difficult for him.

He changed his habits.

You may view that as 'training'.

I view it as making a point that finally gave him his light bulb moment.

Yet he still ended up becoming your ex husband.  Did your actions succeed or fail?

Pollycat

ontheroad1970 said:

Pollycat said:

Dymphna60 said:

I was really responding to others posters who seem to be telling you to train him to be everything you want him to be rather than you yourself. 

I'm not sure posters have told the OP to train him.

I certainly haven't.

Up-thread on page 4 I posted that my ex-husband was doing something that irritated me. It was sheer idleness and lack of consideration for me. He was treating me as his Mother. I wasn't his Mother.

Asking didn't work.

So I did something that made him realise that by continuing as he was, things would be more difficult for him.

He changed his habits.

You may view that as 'training'.

I view it as making a point that finally gave him his light bulb moment.

Yet he still ended up becoming your ex husband.  Did your actions succeed or fail?

He's my ex because he had an affair with somebody else.
Somebody less than half his age (yes, it was a mid-life crisis).
It went on for 18 months before I found out.
Did my actions succeed? Yes they did (I've already posted that they did).
Do I wish that I hadn't wasted 10+ years after my actions succeeded?
You bet I did.
I really don't understand what point you are trying to make.

Spendless

Have you any update OP? I thought about you and this thread earlier today. My DH decided to tidy up a larder style cupboard. He put the medicine/first aid box on the top shelf, I had to point out I'm 5ft 4 and unable to see inside if it's there, unlike him who is around 6ft tall.  I also asked him this afternoon to get a 'move on' about photocopying DD's items needed for a HE course she's applied to. He's still doing this having discovered an issue with the printer ink. Then he bought finger rolls for our hotdog tea, and suggested we have 2 hot dogs each, but hadn't bought enough rolls for this. These were nothing things to me, but I can see how infuriating it is if you are always 'on guard' waiting for things to go wrong.