I've really messed up

Exodi

Well you've done the hard bit so can breath a bit easy there.

I'd give him a day or two to collect his feelings, then try to initiate conversation if you haven't heard from him by then.

DizzyDizzy10

To add. I know I'm the worst human on the planet. I know I should have told him a long time ago. Nothing no one can say can make me feel worse.

If that was the last hug he ever gives me, then it'll remind me of what I've lost.

Alias_Omega

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Whilst its not best case scenario. 

I told him, He wasn't too happy that I was doing it and I kept it from him for too long. I told him of how I got in to it, how I feel now. He asked when my last client was. If I have any more booked in and if I ever had clients back at my flat. I was open and honest and said I had another place. I shown him that I was being tested and I'm really sorry that I kept it from him and for actually doing it. 

He said he wasn't sure if he knew the real me or the work me. He needs some time away from things. I was in tears, he did hug me and I asked if he hated me he actually gave me a cuddle and said no. He just needs to work things out in his mind.

I'm just waiting for the text to say he doesn't want to see me again. 

Do I just sit and wait it out? Do I text him in a few days ask him how he is? 

Give it time, you will see the cycle of

• Grief
• Anger
• Acceptance

I am big believer in the truth, it is what will set you free in life. 

If its supposed to work, it will do....but.....i suspect now that the trust has been smashed, he wont trust for you a bit. Expect to be tracked / monitored and doubt to be in his mind. The best way might be the relationship to end, you change your life to how you want it to be, then after say 12 months, you might be in a position to forget your past, and start a newer happier relationship.

DizzyDizzy10

I've already told him I'm quitting doing the work. I've told him that I've applied for various jobs in supermarkets and applied to do a course at the open university. He did say if I had a record of applying he would love to see it.

As for tracking he wouldn't track me. He isn't that sort of person

HanPop

Well done for telling him, I think leave him for a few days to digest the news. You never know what the outcome will be, but try to be prepared for both outcomes. 

[Deleted User]

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've already told him I'm quitting doing the work.

Hi,

what if one of your clients phones you up one night when you're sitting at home, twiddling your thumbs waiting for your new love to contact you, what then?

DizzyDizzy10

I just want to tell him I am that person he fell in love with, That is the real me,  The person scared of spiders, The person who has all her quirky flaws that he fell in love with. He has seen the real me. Not the work me. The work me was completely different. 

I've forwarded him the e-mails of me applying and me handing the notice on my month to month tenancy of my work flat. 

Emmia

[Deleted User] said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've already told him I'm quitting doing the work.

Hi,

what if one of your clients phones you up one night when you're sitting at home, twiddling your thumbs waiting for your new love to contact you, what then?

Hopefully you've had a seperate mobile etc. for clients, so cancelling the contract / getting rid of the number will avoid this problem.

DizzyDizzy10

[Deleted User] said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've already told him I'm quitting doing the work.

Hi,

what if one of your clients phones you up one night when you're sitting at home, twiddling your thumbs waiting for your new love to contact you, what then?

Simcard is in in the canal

DizzyDizzy10

Emmia said:

[Deleted User] said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've already told him I'm quitting doing the work.

Hi,

what if one of your clients phones you up one night when you're sitting at home, twiddling your thumbs waiting for your new love to contact you, what then?

Hopefully you've had a seperate mobile etc. for clients, so cancelling the contract / getting rid of the number will avoid this problem.

Phone was a cheap pay as you go one, Sent off to a recycler for the £5 Argos voucher I'll get for it.