I've really messed up

DizzyDizzy10

Emmia said:

Do your friends and family know about your job? If not, by telling him you run the risk of it coming out in the open - although I do think you should be honest, and tell him. 

Friends know. Parents threw me out as soon as GCSEs were announced and I was on my own. They don't care about me. 

HanPop

I just wanted to say good luck for today, I hope it goes as well as it can. And just so that you know, you are not a terrible human being. 

DizzyDizzy10

HanPop said:

I just wanted to say good luck for today, I hope it goes as well as it can. And just so that you know, you are not a terrible human being. 

Thank you I'll be setting off shortly. I feel like I am a terrible person

Exodi

I share the similar views to Comms69, 11 months is a completely unacceptable time frame to admit this to someone.

You didn't need to tell him at the first date, or the second, or even the third... but by leaving it 11 months, you've completely betrayed his trust and led him on.

Personally I'd be furious if my partner was regularly sleeping with other men in between sleeping with me and did not tell me. I can only imagine how much of a complete headf**k this will be to him. Especially given that he'll then find out all of your friends know and will no doubt feel like the butt of the joke.

DizzyDizzy10

Exodi said:

Personally I'd be furious if my partner was regularly sleeping with other men in between sleeping with me and did not tell me. I can only imagine how much of a complete headf**k this will be to him. Especially given that he'll then find out all of your friends know and will no doubt feel like the butt of the joke.

I'm more worried about the mess it'll make in his head. I know I've done wrong holding off telling him, I know I've been a horrible person to him and that was never my intention, I was waiting to see if this got serious then put it off because I was scared. Now I've made things much worse. 

I am setting off now I will update you later.

gettingtheresometime

DizzyDizzy10 said:

gettingtheresometime said:

This may be a tmi question but it's one I'd want the answer to if my boyfriend dropped this sort of bombshell 

is the escorting just meeting up with men & having dinner, accompanying them to functions etc sort of escorting or the other sort of escorting?

former I could perhaps live with but the other I couldn't 

The other sort. Thats what I'm worried about is him not being able to live with it/look at me

I'm sorry to say but I'd might be able to cope with the former but definitely  not the later..

burlingtonfl6

John_ said:

AskAsk said:

too late i think.  he will leave as this is too much for any ordinary person to take onboard.

Why would you say this, when it’s clearly not true? It’s a job, and no worse than a great many other jobs.
Not everyone is as judgemental as you seem to think.

You are correct, there are some pathetic men out there who would accept this bombshell because they think they can't do any better.

No man with any self worth is ok with his partner sleeping with other men.

Malthusian

Exodi said:

You didn't need to tell him at the first date, or the second, or even the third... but by leaving it 11 months, you've completely betrayed his trust and led him on.

They really did. Every date you don't tell them it gets harder. Waiting until the fourth is far too late. 99% of men aren't going to date an escort so unless you tell them upfront you're almost certainly wasting your time and theirs on wishful thinking.

The only way out of this dilemma is to either date a john or find another career.

Comms69

burlingtonfl6 said:

John_ said:

AskAsk said:

too late i think.  he will leave as this is too much for any ordinary person to take onboard.

Why would you say this, when it’s clearly not true? It’s a job, and no worse than a great many other jobs.
Not everyone is as judgemental as you seem to think.

You are correct, there are some pathetic men out there who would accept this bombshell because they think they can't do any better.

No man with any self worth is ok with his partner sleeping with other men.

And conversely women accepting male partners sleeping with other women. 

The reality is that for the majority of people, sex work is not a desirable trait in a partner. 

DizzyDizzy10

Whilst its not best case scenario. 

I told him, He wasn't too happy that I was doing it and I kept it from him for too long. I told him of how I got in to it, how I feel now. He asked when my last client was. If I have any more booked in and if I ever had clients back at my flat. I was open and honest and said I had another place. I shown him that I was being tested and I'm really sorry that I kept it from him and for actually doing it. 

He said he wasn't sure if he knew the real me or the work me. He needs some time away from things. I was in tears, he did hug me and I asked if he hated me he actually gave me a cuddle and said no. He just needs to work things out in his mind.

I'm just waiting for the text to say he doesn't want to see me again. 

Do I just sit and wait it out? Do I text him in a few days ask him how he is?