I've really messed up

gettingtheresometime

This may be a tmi question but it's one I'd want the answer to if my boyfriend dropped this sort of bombshell 

is the escorting just meeting up with men & having dinner, accompanying them to functions etc sort of escorting or the other sort of escorting?

former I could perhaps live with but the other I couldn't 

Emmia

gettingtheresometime said:

This may be a tmi question but it's one I'd want the answer to if my boyfriend dropped this sort of bombshell 

is the escorting just meeting up with men & having dinner, accompanying them to functions etc sort of escorting or the other sort of escorting?

former I could perhaps live with but the other I couldn't 

I think whatever is said, if I were him I'd assume there were physical relations involved.

Apintplease

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

Ok so its not a career choice that a lot of people would be proud off and a lot of fellas finding out their girlfriends have been doing are going to be totally peed off

Perhaps not because this has been your occupation of choice, but because of the risk to him

Unless you have been having the monthly check ups and can prove it?

Im not judging, we all make choices and some choices aren't the best but are the best for us at that moment in time

Now your time is, you have a boyfriend and how do you break this news to him 

If you want a future with him, you have to be honest, you can not hide this, It will haunt you forever and a day - who knows when a punter decides to say hello to you in the street when you are with him?

I guess also its hard to give p the income to go to a NMW job

Only you can decide if you need this man in your life and are willing to come clean and then make your way forward, or stay where you are for the foreseeable 

I think you need to have a long hard think.

Money isn't the be all and end all. You can build a very fulfilling life with next to nothing if you have the right support, if this man is the man you want and keeping him means  giving up what you do at the moment ,then that is what you may have to do

Whatever, the very best of luck and don't beat yourself up over choice you have made so far - save them for the death bed

John_

AskAsk said:

too late i think.  he will leave as this is too much for any ordinary person to take onboard.

Why would you say this, when it’s clearly not true? It’s a job, and no worse than a great many other jobs.
Not everyone is as judgemental as you seem to think.

Mrsn

Getting there and Tapcot have offered some valid points in their answers. Depending on the services you offer as an escort might depend how the boyfriend reacts to the situation. I’d love to reassure you that this would all work out and it’ll be ok etc but I can’t because that would be incredibly unfair of me to say not knowing you or your partner.

What I can say is that you are doing absolutely the right thing by bringing this up now. In life we all make decisions that some will see as ok and that others won’t. I wish you the best going forward whatever happens. 

DizzyDizzy10

tacpot12 said:

I would suggest that you explain that you are telling him now because you have only just been able to pluck up the courage to tell him, but you want him to know the truth because of how much he means to you. 

I do hope that he loves you enough to understand that it is not easy to share the truth about such things. 

This is exactly how I feel I want him to know the truth, because I've hated sneaking off doing this job and coming back to him. I just want him to know. 

Marvel1 said:

I think he will find it difficult, it will be all the things involved running through his mind.

I know  

DizzyDizzy10

gettingtheresometime said:

This may be a tmi question but it's one I'd want the answer to if my boyfriend dropped this sort of bombshell 

is the escorting just meeting up with men & having dinner, accompanying them to functions etc sort of escorting or the other sort of escorting?

former I could perhaps live with but the other I couldn't 

The other sort. Thats what I'm worried about is him not being able to live with it/look at me

jjdc said:

Give him a discount, might change his mind. Or let him have a 60% cut of your profits if he introduces you to clients, he could get a gold tooth, a BMW and you have a tattoo of his initials on your back.

Are you suggesting I let him pimp me out or I charge my boyfriend?

Apintplease said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

Ok so its not a career choice that a lot of people would be proud off and a lot of fellas finding out their girlfriends have been doing are going to be totally peed off

Perhaps not because this has been your occupation of choice, but because of the risk to him

Unless you have been having the monthly check ups and can prove it?

Im not judging, we all make choices and some choices aren't the best but are the best for us at that moment in time

Now your time is, you have a boyfriend and how do you break this news to him 

If you want a future with him, you have to be honest, you can not hide this, It will haunt you forever and a day - who knows when a punter decides to say hello to you in the street when you are with him?

I guess also its hard to give p the income to go to a NMW job

Only you can decide if you need this man in your life and are willing to come clean and then make your way forward, or stay where you are for the foreseeable 

I think you need to have a long hard think.

Money isn't the be all and end all. You can build a very fulfilling life with next to nothing if you have the right support, if this man is the man you want and keeping him means  giving up what you do at the moment ,then that is what you may have to do

Whatever, the very best of luck and don't beat yourself up over choice you have made so far - save them for the death bed

I have monthly checkups yes and can prove them all. 
In my younger days I was a bit of a lost cause and loved the money and attention I was getting. Now I'm 10 years older I don't want this with my life. I have a boyfriend, some savings (In this game its not constant client after client and lots of money. I could go days without work) and I just want to be like my boyfriend, he has a normal job. He has friends (Most of my friends have deserted me). I love the fact I can cuddle up to him or spend time with him and he isn't expecting me to perform.

I can see my future with my boyfriend. I can see it working in a corner shop or something that isn't this and I'm really happy. 

Mrsn said:

Getting there and Tapcot have offered some valid points in their answers. Depending on the services you offer as an escort might depend how the boyfriend reacts to the situation. I’d love to reassure you that this would all work out and it’ll be ok etc but I can’t because that would be incredibly unfair of me to say not knowing you or your partner.

What I can say is that you are doing absolutely the right thing by bringing this up now. In life we all make decisions that some will see as ok and that others won’t. I wish you the best going forward whatever happens. 

He is usually really laid back and alright with most things This I'm not sure on.

He has said we should meet today for lunch

Artytarty

I hope it goes well for you.
while it will be a shock for him and he may not react well at first, the outlook could be better than you fear if he loves you as much as you love him.

Comms69

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

DizzyDizzy10

Artytarty said:

I hope it goes well for you.
while it will be a shock for him and he may not react well at first, the outlook could be better than you fear if he loves you as much as you love him.

Best worst reaction is he doesn't talk to me for a few days and just goes mad at me. 

I'm meeting him at 1 so going to tell him.