I've really messed up

DizzyDizzy10

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

L9XSS

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Malthusian

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

Why not? Because you'd miss out on 11 months of living a lie, constant stress over when your boyfriend will find out and exposing him to STIs?

DizzyDizzy10

Malthusian said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

Why not? Because you'd miss out on 11 months of living a lie, constant stress over when your boyfriend will find out and exposing him to STIs?

Its not something you just come out with

DizzyDizzy10

L9XSS said:

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Thank you

Comms69

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

No, you cant, but no-one is saying tell everyone! And maybe you wouldnt mention it on the first date. But 11 months?! Sorry it's not good enough!

You played with him, and disrespected him massively. You lied to his face, hundreds, maybe thousands of times. 

He deserves better - and that's nothing to do with what you do (though since you're unhappy telling people, perhaps it's time to realise you're ashamed of it) and much more to do with lying to someone you supposedly love. 

DizzyDizzy10

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

No, you cant, but no-one is saying tell everyone! And maybe you wouldnt mention it on the first date. But 11 months?! Sorry it's not good enough!

You played with him, and disrespected him massively. You lied to his face, hundreds, maybe thousands of times. 

He deserves better - and that's nothing to do with what you do (though since you're unhappy telling people, perhaps it's time to realise you're ashamed of it) and much more to do with lying to someone you supposedly love. 

If you want me to admit I am ashamed of it then yes I am. He has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Am I a bad person? Yes I am.

You cannot say anything that I don't already think/feel. I am a terrible human I know that

Comms69

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I am a member here but with what mess I am in I have switched accounts.

I have been seeing my boyfriend for 11 months and I need to tell him my job. I hear you say "Thats not too bad just do it."

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years. The majority of clients are lovely/nice but I met my current boyfriend on a night out. He just knows I'm a personal assistant. I've fallen for him though and he has fallen for me but not knowing the whole truth. I want to come clean. but I am really scared of telling him in case he dumps me and tells me he never wants to speak to me again. 

I have applied to study at the open university to escape this career, but would need to keep working to pay for it. 

I know my job is my choice, I've tried leaving it so many times but with no formal qualifications employers don't want to know. Even Tesco turned me down!

So you've lied to your bf for 11 months? About something he's clearly going to have an issue with? He's obviously going to break up with you; not necessarily because of your work, but because you're untrustworthy. 

I get what you are saying, however you cannot just tell everyone that is your career.

No, you cant, but no-one is saying tell everyone! And maybe you wouldnt mention it on the first date. But 11 months?! Sorry it's not good enough!

You played with him, and disrespected him massively. You lied to his face, hundreds, maybe thousands of times. 

He deserves better - and that's nothing to do with what you do (though since you're unhappy telling people, perhaps it's time to realise you're ashamed of it) and much more to do with lying to someone you supposedly love. 

If you want me to admit I am ashamed of it then yes I am. He has opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Am I a bad person? Yes I am.

You cannot say anything that I don't already think/feel. I am a terrible human I know that

Personally i dont care whether someone chooses to have sex for money or not, that's up to them. So I dont particularly think you should be ashamed about your choice of income. 

Like i said, it's the lying. That doesnt make you a terrible person. You just have to understand your choices have repercussions. For what it's worth, i hope he does forgive you; but i wouldnt blame him if he didnt. 

Alias_Omega

Chin in, its just a job. For me, i would be worried of someone spotting you in the street. 

Things, you might need consider -
a) Taking a relationship break, change jobs and become the "new you", meeting up again.
b) Moving away, this may clear your clientele out of your day-2-day visibility
c) Promise yourself that when "things get tough", you do not go back to your old ways.

if the relationship fails, it fails. You have highlighted the need to change.
Hopefully things go well for you.

Emmia

Do your friends and family know about your job? If not, by telling him you run the risk of it coming out in the open - although I do think you should be honest, and tell him.