I've really messed up

burlingtonfl6

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

Emmia

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

I think that's a bit of a gross generalisation (it heavily depends on the type of people involved, their life experiences and a load of other stuff) and why "sisters" or does this not apply to "brothers" are men free to sow their wild oats as they see fit?

DizzyDizzy10

I check my phone and a whatsapp from my boyfriend he said "I need to stress that I don't hate you <name>. I told you months ago I could never hate you, I think you tried to tell me then, but backed out. I get why you did that line of work. I totally do. Finding out that you have had to do it and what I know about you has totally messed my head up. I just need time to process it and figure things out. I might have questions, don't think I am trying to trick you or anything its things I need to understand. I know you are job hunting, if you need someone to give you a reference I'll be more than happy to."


I hadn't messaged him yet.  I guess this is good/

Iamdebtfree

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - not an escort, just LOVED 'that kind of fun' with a gorgeous bloke. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. Oh and no, my husband doesn't know 'how many'. None of his business as it was all in the days gone by.

burlingtonfl6

Emmia said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

I think that's a bit of a gross generalisation (it heavily depends on the type of people involved, their life experiences and a load of other stuff) and why "sisters" or does this not apply to "brothers" are men free to sow their wild oats as they see fit?

Either way. I just used that example because the OP is female.
People need to learn some personal responsibility. The OP slept with men for money, her choice, the OP lied to her boyfriend, her choice. Your actions now impact your future. The past is never the past and although some people can change, the vast majority don't.

Comms69

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - most certainly was not an escort. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. 

i'm not sure its sexists as such, i suspect hed say the same about men - but we'll see.

That said, do whatever you want; but if that results in a reputation then some people may decide it's not worth it. 

burlingtonfl6

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - not an escort, just LOVED 'that kind of fun' with a gorgeous bloke. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. Oh and no, my husband doesn't know 'how many'. None of his business as it was all in the days gone by.

Marriage rates are at an all time low. The sexual liberation movement of the 60's destroyed the family unit and couple that with the internet we have generations of people like you who think sleeping with packs of men doesn't have a negative impact on society. 
You might have got lucky, but people spending their youth sharing bodily fluids with countless partners (male or female) is not a good thing.

Iamdebtfree

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I check my phone and a whatsapp from my boyfriend he said "I need to stress that I don't hate you <name>. I told you months ago I could never hate you, I think you tried to tell me then, but backed out. I get why you did that line of work. I totally do. Finding out that you have had to do it and what I know about you has totally messed my head up. I just need time to process it and figure things out. I might have questions, don't think I am trying to trick you or anything its things I need to understand. I know you are job hunting, if you need someone to give you a reference I'll be more than happy to."


I hadn't messaged him yet.  I guess this is good/

Leave him be. He's shocked, stunned, doesn't know what to think. Whilst it's great he's not outright saying ' don't contact me again', neither is he saying 'all's super, I'm cool'. Only time will tell. I would just say 'thank you' in response and leave it at that. 

I do hope it all turns out well for you and him but even if it doesn't, you're so so young, you've got your whole life ahead of you, time is most definitely on your side. You will get over this, you will turn your life around and this too shall pass.

Aranyani

DizzyDizzy10 said:

AskAsk said:

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

I did text him at like 3 am asking if he hated me. He replied saying no.

He's a saint, I'd hate anybody who texted me at 3am unless it was a dire emergency. 

Iamdebtfree

burlingtonfl6 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - not an escort, just LOVED 'that kind of fun' with a gorgeous bloke. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. Oh and no, my husband doesn't know 'how many'. None of his business as it was all in the days gone by.

Marriage rates are at an all time low. The sexual liberation movement of the 60's destroyed the family unit and couple that with the internet we have generations of people like you who think sleeping with packs of men doesn't have a negative impact on society. 
You might have got lucky, but people spending their youth sharing bodily fluids with countless partners (male or female) is not a good thing.

Smh is all I can say to this. That and no comment.