I've really messed up

Ginsipper007

Hiya

Sorry, only sort of half read this thread, but wanted to say DD10, what you did takes real guts, 'coming clean' involves massive amounts of courage.  I see earlier that you said you thought you were a bad person.  I'm glad you've spoken to your doctor.  One foot in front of the other.  One day at a time.  It is possible to get to a place where you know you're a good person.  Hope all goes well for you.

Comms69

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

annabanana82 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Imagine giving this advice to your son
''It's ok if your girlfriend is an escort and you share her with countless men''
Or this advice to your daughter
''It's ok to sleep with 70 men, you're young and it won't have an impact on your future.

I've got friends that have been happily married for over 25 years both their second marriage, they are ardent swingers and spend many a weekend indulging in their hobby. It's not my choice but it really works for them. 
Lots of people have large amount of sexual partners before settling down with someone. And I'd hazard a guess there are some men who knowingly have an escort for a partner. 

As a mother I'd advise my Daughter to take precautions both for her sexual and physical health as for how many that's her choice to make.

And that's fine as long as people understand their choices may mean that people look at them differently - not a big deal as it's unlikely those personalities would match up anyway

Are you saying that if when I met my partner I went "Hey I'm.... and I'm an escort" he would have gone "no thanks" even though there is chemistry between us?

That's quite likely - statistically speaking

Aranyani

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Comms69 said:

annabanana82 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Imagine giving this advice to your son
''It's ok if your girlfriend is an escort and you share her with countless men''
Or this advice to your daughter
''It's ok to sleep with 70 men, you're young and it won't have an impact on your future.

I've got friends that have been happily married for over 25 years both their second marriage, they are ardent swingers and spend many a weekend indulging in their hobby. It's not my choice but it really works for them. 
Lots of people have large amount of sexual partners before settling down with someone. And I'd hazard a guess there are some men who knowingly have an escort for a partner. 

As a mother I'd advise my Daughter to take precautions both for her sexual and physical health as for how many that's her choice to make.

And that's fine as long as people understand their choices may mean that people look at them differently - not a big deal as it's unlikely those personalities would match up anyway

Are you saying that if when I met my partner I went "Hey I'm.... and I'm an escort" he would have gone "no thanks" even though there is chemistry between us?

Yeah, probably.  

If nothing because of the health risks. 

Iamdebtfree

Morglin said:

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - not an escort, just LOVED 'that kind of fun' with a gorgeous bloke. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. Oh and no, my husband doesn't know 'how many'. None of his business as it was all in the days gone by.

Yep, I grew up, as a teen, in the late 60’s/70s, and also had some memorable times lol

Not for money - just for fun.  Young and free.  So called Swinging Sixties.

My first marriage lasted 32 years, and my second is 15 years old.  Both my husbands also had fun with many,  in their youths, and no one got stressed with who’d done what, with who, and when.  Who cares? Enduring relationships with fidelity on both sides after marriage.

A rackety life, when young, didn’t mean a thing in later life, after marriage, kids, grandkids and now great grandkids!  I’ve got memories that make me smile, and some that make cringe lol 😉

WOW, how super, another formerly bad girl!! )))

Literally agree with every word of your post!!

Iamdebtfree

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

Comms69 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Morglin said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

Selling sex is the worlds oldest profession, so I don’t think it’s about modern girl power, to be honest. Some people are happy paying for sex, some are happy to provide a service.  That’s just a business transaction, no more, no less.

OP sounds quite young, so of course she can change her life if she wants to.  Plenty of ex sex workers do.  

We can all change our lives, for whatever reason, if we really want to.  

If she gets some education, gets a mainstream job, and is happy, then, in five years time, all this will just be a part of her past life, now dormant.

The difference is now we have the internet. It isn't healthy to sleep with lots of men, for money or not, it has a direct impact on your ability to pair bond and damages your future relationships (as can be seen with the OP)
Instagram, Onlyfans etc accelerate the damage but also normalise the situation. 
If you had twin sisters, one who had been with 3 men and the other who had been with 60, the first sister would be more likely to form healthy and committed relationships.

This is, sorry to say, sexist nonsense. 

I was a bad bad girl prior to meeting my husband. Yep, 60, 70, lost count - not an escort, just LOVED 'that kind of fun' with a gorgeous bloke. 

I was young, beautiful and reckless. I did all these bad bad things because I could. Life's fun when you're 23 and easy on the eye. All in the very distant past.

Happily married for 16 plus years. Oh and no, my husband doesn't know 'how many'. None of his business as it was all in the days gone by.

Marriage rates are at an all time low. The sexual liberation movement of the 60's destroyed the family unit and couple that with the internet we have generations of people like you who think sleeping with packs of men doesn't have a negative impact on society. 
You might have got lucky, but people spending their youth sharing bodily fluids with countless partners (male or female) is not a good thing.

Smh is all I can say to this. That and no comment.

Nothing wrong with traditional views on relationships, really dont see how that's any better or worse than sleeping with 60+ people?

Yep. Let's go back to the 1950s. A woman MUST BE A VIRGIN on her sacred wedding day. Pure of thought and deed.

Good day to you.

I know I shouldn't laugh but it would be rich me wearing white on my wedding day!

Haha. Forget white.

Waist length screaming red
wavy hair, blinding purple 80s goth style corset dress and don't forget the lacy elbow length cut -off finger gloves!! (can you tell I was 18 in 1988?! )

Iamdebtfree

annabanana82 said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

Imagine giving this advice to your son
''It's ok if your girlfriend is an escort and you share her with countless men''
Or this advice to your daughter
''It's ok to sleep with 70 men, you're young and it won't have an impact on your future.

I've got friends that have been happily married for over 25 years both their second marriage, they are ardent swingers and spend many a weekend indulging in their hobby. It's not my choice but it really works for them. 
Lots of people have large amount of sexual partners before settling down with someone. And I'd hazard a guess there are some men who knowingly have an escort for a partner. 

As a mother I'd advise my Daughter to take precautions both for her sexual and physical health as for how many that's her choice to make.

Fantastic post! I'm not a mother but this is exactly what I'd tell my daughter if I had one!

AskAsk

Aranyani said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

AskAsk said:

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

I did text him at like 3 am asking if he hated me. He replied saying no.

He's a saint, I'd hate anybody who texted me at 3am unless it was a dire emergency. 

you could put your phone on silent when you are asleep??

DizzyDizzy10

I have some news.
I have spoken to a recruiter and she has forwarded me for a telephone interview
It is only an order processing administrator but work is work and I can learn new skills. 
She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

I really want to tell my boyfriend but don't want to be seen to be bothering him.

Iamdebtfree

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I have some news.
I have spoken to a recruiter and she has forwarded me for a telephone interview
It is only an order processing administrator but work is work and I can learn new skills. 
She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

I really want to tell my boyfriend but don't want to be seen to be bothering him.

Oh girl. No, no no.. don't tell potential employers..


I do hope the job works out though and I wish you all the best. We're all of us fallible ordinary joes with past regrets, it will all work out in the end I'm sure!

DizzyDizzy10

Iamdebtfree said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I have some news.
I have spoken to a recruiter and she has forwarded me for a telephone interview
It is only an order processing administrator but work is work and I can learn new skills. 
She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

I really want to tell my boyfriend but don't want to be seen to be bothering him.

Oh girl. No, no no.. don't tell potential employers..


I do hope the job works out though and I wish you all the best. We're all of us fallible ordinary joes with past regrets, it will all work out in the end I'm sure!

She asked about my self employed status as a masseuse. She just said "basically escorting? I've seen it all before, they won't care" 
The recruiter just cared more about forwarding me on for the interview.