I've really messed up

Comms69

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

Have a similar feeling, but it's not reached boiling point yet

suejb2

Page 18 .....page 18 I say until someone got around to saying it. Thank you Wilfred and thank you Comms.

Exodi

Assuming this thread is real, it's disappointing that while the OP started receiving useful advice, this was then quickly derailed by posters like Iamdebtfree spouting nonsense of 'you shouldn't have told him!'... This wasn't a past event that pre-dates the boyfriend - the OP was actively sleeping with other men whilst seeing her partner at the same time. At best, you have poor morals Iamdebtfree, at worst you are completely sexist.

Again, if this thread is real, I'm somewhat proud that the OP has done the best thing for her and continues to do so - with regards to telling the truth to her partner, seeking other employment, etc.

pattycake

My feeling is that the OP has a potentially lucrative career ahead writing women’s fiction.

nora_nora

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

Emmia

nora_nora said:

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

I agree with this - I had an ex that lied to me about something really inconsequential in the grand scheme of things (not as huge as escorting) and although it was unimportant, the fact he'd lied (and I'd found out the truth almost by accident) shook the pretty solid relationship, with the end result we broke up a year later. After it came out I began to really question if he was always being honest and it really destroyed the trust on which the relationship was built.

11 months of deceit of this sort (its not that she is/was a former escort and it is in the past) as she was selling something that her boyfriend might reasonably expect to be exclusively his, may have caused an unfixable tear in the relationship fabric.

AskAsk

pattycake said:

My feeling is that the OP has a potentially lucrative career ahead writing women’s fiction.

i think that is too much of a compliment 
i think this story is made up.  which was why i had said many pages back that i do not believe what the OP had said.

donnac2558

pattycake said:

My feeling is that the OP has a potentially lucrative career ahead writing women’s fiction.

Belle de Jour Confessions Of A Call Girl,  already been done.   The ex-boyfriend outed her papers she was then working as a lecturer at a university.

Apintplease

nora_nora said:

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

I do have to agree with your sentiments, what I did disagree with was your way of getting them across earlier in the thread

However much we believe or don't believe this story, surely we aren't supposed to be here to judge, rather offer support or just move along?

nora_nora

Apintplease said:

nora_nora said:

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

I do have to agree with your sentiments, what I did disagree with was your way of getting them across earlier in the thread

However much we believe or don't believe this story, surely we aren't supposed to be here to judge, rather offer support or just move along?

I'm one of those people who knows what I'm trying to say & can clearly see it, but sometimes isn't quite sure how to put it over in text. Yes i can come over harsh, but that's because I'm staying completely unemotional & thinking solely of the harsh realities which in this scenario are extremely unlikely to include running off into the sunset holding hands. The way i see it there is no trust to be lost because it never existed in the first place. Anyone who can have sex with numerous other men for a year behind their doting partners back is simply not worthy of that level of trust.