I've really messed up

Kim_kim

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I have some news.
I have spoken to a recruiter and she has forwarded me for a telephone interview
It is only an order processing administrator but work is work and I can learn new skills. 
She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

I really want to tell my boyfriend but don't want to be seen to be bothering him.

Where do you live in the country?  People might have suggestions for work.  I don’t mean exactly, but generally, or county.  

Kim_kim

DizzyDizzy10 said:

Iamdebtfree said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I have some news.
I have spoken to a recruiter and she has forwarded me for a telephone interview
It is only an order processing administrator but work is work and I can learn new skills. 
She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

I really want to tell my boyfriend but don't want to be seen to be bothering him.

Oh girl. No, no no.. don't tell potential employers..


I do hope the job works out though and I wish you all the best. We're all of us fallible ordinary joes with past regrets, it will all work out in the end I'm sure!

She asked about my self employed status as a masseuse. She just said "basically escorting? I've seen it all before, they won't care" 
The recruiter just cared more about forwarding me on for the interview.

Maybe you should say a trained masseuse for therapy and leave it at that.  Plenty of people with lots of prejudices as this thread shows.   

Kim_kim

DizzyDizzy10 said:

[Deleted User] said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

She asked about my past I was truthful. She said because of the roll they won't really care and they'll ask my boyfriend for a reference. I feel cheeky even putting him even when he said to. 

Hi,

did you say that your boyfriend and you are in a kinda limbo just now, but he was happy to reference you?

Boyfriend said he would give me a reference today. 

You will need more than a character ref.  You’ll need employment or education too.  

Kim_kim

nora_nora said:

Apintplease said:

nora_nora said:

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

I do have to agree with your sentiments, what I did disagree with was your way of getting them across earlier in the thread

However much we believe or don't believe this story, surely we aren't supposed to be here to judge, rather offer support or just move along?

I'm one of those people who knows what I'm trying to say & can clearly see it, but sometimes isn't quite sure how to put it over in text. Yes i can come over harsh, but that's because I'm staying completely unemotional & thinking solely of the harsh realities which in this scenario are extremely unlikely to include running off into the sunset holding hands. The way i see it there is no trust to be lost because it never existed in the first place. Anyone who can have sex with numerous other men for a year behind their doting partners back is simply not worthy of that level of trust. 

Harsh way to judge a 16 year old thrown out on her own to sink or swim.  

Savvy_Sue

Kim_kim said:

Maybe you should say a trained masseuse for therapy and leave it at that.  Plenty of people with lots of prejudices as this thread shows.   

the only problem with that is that I would expect to a trained massage therapist to have some qualifications. 

I'd keep it as vague as possible: "agency work" covers a multitude of options. 

Kim_kim

Savvy_Sue said:

Kim_kim said:

Maybe you should say a trained masseuse for therapy and leave it at that.  Plenty of people with lots of prejudices as this thread shows.   

the only problem with that is that I would expect to a trained massage therapist to have some qualifications. 

I'd keep it as vague as possible: "agency work" covers a multitude of options. 

They would expect a ref from an agency. If the OP was a self employed massage therapist it’s quite possible that work has dried up due to covid and she needs to find something else.  

kimwp

OP, I hope it works out for you. If you want help with maths, DM me  - I'm an engineer and help kids with their maths homework during non-covid times, so should be able to help, maybe even go back to basics and build up from there.

An unwise decision does not make someone a bad or horrible person. (But posting judgement on someone who has asked for help might do )

nora_nora

Kim_kim said:

nora_nora said:

Apintplease said:

nora_nora said:

wilfred30 said:

Personally, the more the OP posts, the more I'm starting to think that the whole 'story' is made up.  

I'm not thinking that, but what i am thinking (and I'm being kind here) is that a lot of her posts seem to demonstrate that the OP is so desensitised to escorting that she still doesn't quite grasp the magnitude of the emotional damage her year long deceit may have caused another human being. It will have taken a hell of a lot of lies and deceit to have kept the pretence up that long, meaning this relationship was never based on mutual trust, neither was it mutually consenting on his part as he was never allowed the opportunity to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with an escort, and i find that unbelievably selfish on the OPs part as she clearly knew he would have run a mile if he had known from day one & chose to conceal that knowledge from him intentionally to keep hold of him as part of the deceit. I'm not sure anyone would really find it easy to be in a relationship with someone who had spent a year lying to them. I certainly wouldn't feel i could trust someone after doing that to me. 

I do have to agree with your sentiments, what I did disagree with was your way of getting them across earlier in the thread

However much we believe or don't believe this story, surely we aren't supposed to be here to judge, rather offer support or just move along?

I'm one of those people who knows what I'm trying to say & can clearly see it, but sometimes isn't quite sure how to put it over in text. Yes i can come over harsh, but that's because I'm staying completely unemotional & thinking solely of the harsh realities which in this scenario are extremely unlikely to include running off into the sunset holding hands. The way i see it there is no trust to be lost because it never existed in the first place. Anyone who can have sex with numerous other men for a year behind their doting partners back is simply not worthy of that level of trust. 

Harsh way to judge a 16 year old thrown out on her own to sink or swim.  

Welcome to the real world.

Morglin

If this thread is true, then I think some are missing the point of the posters who appear supportive.

It’s not about encouraging deceit or having it in our own relationships - virtually everyone agreed that deceiving the boyfriend for so long wasn’t right.  The OP accepted that. But, I wouldn’t believe anyone who said they had never made bad life choices.  I bet we all have, for different reasons.

As for what’s the “real world”, well, anyone that has any experience of homeless 16 year olds, whether through work, personal experience or both, knows the very limited choices available.

The vast majority end up living rough, in some sort of abusive situation with a pimp, other sex work, or having to commit crimes to survive.

Thats the real world for many. And, if true, her parents should be looking at their own behaviour in all this.  Throwing out your daughter, at 16, defies logic and appropriate parental care.

The OP says she wants to change her life, so good luck to her.  She needs to do it for her, though, and no one else..  Her boyfriend, no doubt, is old enough to make  his choices, now he knows the facts.

donnac2558

Well, I'm an escort (I pay all tax as a self employed person). When I finished school. I had no GCSEs to talk of, I got on a cooking apprenticeship and whilst I was doing that I needed money, a friend introduced me to escorting  and well I started earning good money. Dropped off my cooking course and been doing this for 10 years

The above is from the OP's opening post, she is either in her mid or late 20s.   She has been paying taxes etc.