I've really messed up

Morglin

DizzyDizzy10 said:

I've had the doctor on the phone. 

She was very understanding and chatted to me about what has gone on. She has said its clear I need counselling and she is arranging that for me, I explained what had happened yesterday and she agrees that it wouldn't have been good for my mental health keeping it away from my partner. She also questioned the time difference. She has prescribed some tablets for me to help me sleep. She has also referred me to for a check up at the GUM because she wants to make sure everything is ok She has also booked me in for a follow up appointment in 2 weeks 

She was lovely.

Good.  It sounds like you’re making a start to a happier future.  Good luck with it.  If you ask for support, there are lots of places that supply it - although it’s difficult at the moment with all the restrictions.

Comms69

Morglin said:

Comms69 said:

Morglin said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

6nora_nora said:

DizzyDizzy10 

I have been up all night worrying about him. His mental health will be all over the place and I am sure his head/mind is a mess too. 

Except the new partner in this case?

You equate sex work to crime, but it's not a crime. Though that's quite telling in of itself

I know it’s not a crime, as it used to be.  The point I was making was that, when confronted with homelessness and no means to keep yourself at a young age, many turn to sex work, drugs or crime.  Sex work, in and of itself, is victimless in that, assuming both are consenting adults, it harms no one.  Drugs and robbery do harm everyone.

However, let’s be honest.  Sex work is still looked down on by some people.  ‘Twas ever thus

The new partner will have been hurt I expect, but then he’d have been hurt, I assume, if she’d just had an affair.  It’s his choice whether to forgive and forget the deceit, or walk away.

As far as i'm aware prostitution has never been a crime. 

People are free to judge anyone on anything as far as im concerned

Comms69

Iamdebtfree said:

This situation, to me, is akin to a man or woman having had an affair, having finished it for good and then for some inexplicable reason deciding to go ruin both lives by telling their partner.

 What is the point? Why self-sabotage this way? Who would? I certainly would not. And I don't give a monkeys as to how deceitful and wrong it is. We only get one chance at life.

 He's all she seems to have in life.  

 She's done with it, she's had all the medical checks, she should never have told him. Alas, too late.

It's very disrespectful to your partner. 

Comms69

burlingtonfl6 said:

Your past actions have direct consequences on your future. There are hoards of young girls out there basically selling themselves on sites like onlyfans. It will come back to bite them eventually but they've been brought up in the belief they can do whatever they want because of ''girl power''.  There are also hoards of men who pay for those sites because they are ''simps''
To those of you ''men'' saying you could come to terms with the OP's job...... you are part of the problem.

I tend to agree. But mainly on the fact it's gone on now, the past is the past - and that's fine.

AskAsk

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

Morglin

Comms69 said:

Morglin said:

Comms69 said:

Morglin said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

6nora_nora said:

DizzyDizzy10 

I have been up all night worrying about him. His mental health will be all over the place and I am sure his head/mind is a mess too. 

Except the new partner in this case?

You equate sex work to crime, but it's not a crime. Though that's quite telling in of itself

I know it’s not a crime, as it used to be.  The point I was making was that, when confronted with homelessness and no means to keep yourself at a young age, many turn to sex work, drugs or crime.  Sex work, in and of itself, is victimless in that, assuming both are consenting adults, it harms no one.  Drugs and robbery do harm everyone.

However, let’s be honest.  Sex work is still looked down on by some people.  ‘Twas ever thus

The new partner will have been hurt I expect, but then he’d have been hurt, I assume, if she’d just had an affair.  It’s his choice whether to forgive and forget the deceit, or walk away.

As far as i'm aware prostitution has never been a crime. 

People are free to judge anyone on anything as far as im concerned

Well, this thread isn’t about the pedantics of what sex work is legal.  Some is, some isn’t.

“In Great Britain (England, Wales and Scotland), the act of engaging in sex as part of an exchange of sexual services for money is legal, but a number of related activities, including soliciting in a public place, kerb crawling, owning or managing a brothel, pimping and pandering, are crimes.“

As for judging others, well each to their own views. I don’t judge, others do.  Whatever. 

DizzyDizzy10

AskAsk said:

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

He has said he needs a few days. 

I did text him at like 3 am asking if he hated me. He replied saying no. So at least he doesn't hate my guts.

Comms69

Morglin said:

Comms69 said:

Morglin said:

Comms69 said:

Morglin said:

DizzyDizzy10 said:

6nora_nora said:

DizzyDizzy10 

I have been up all night worrying about him. His mental health will be all over the place and I am sure his head/mind is a mess too. 

Except the new partner in this case?

You equate sex work to crime, but it's not a crime. Though that's quite telling in of itself

I know it’s not a crime, as it used to be.  The point I was making was that, when confronted with homelessness and no means to keep yourself at a young age, many turn to sex work, drugs or crime.  Sex work, in and of itself, is victimless in that, assuming both are consenting adults, it harms no one.  Drugs and robbery do harm everyone.

However, let’s be honest.  Sex work is still looked down on by some people.  ‘Twas ever thus

The new partner will have been hurt I expect, but then he’d have been hurt, I assume, if she’d just had an affair.  It’s his choice whether to forgive and forget the deceit, or walk away.

As far as i'm aware prostitution has never been a crime. 

People are free to judge anyone on anything as far as im concerned

Well, this thread isn’t about the pedantics of what sex work is legal.  Some is, some isn’t.

“In Great Britain (England, Wales and Scotland), the act of engaging in sex as part of an exchange of sexual services for money is legal, but a number of related activities, including soliciting in a public place, kerb crawling, owning or managing a brothel, pimping and pandering, are crimes.“

As for judging others, well each to their own views. I don’t judge, others do.  Whatever. 

I dont remember asking you to moderate what is and isnt relevant? You equated it to a crime, which i found interesting.

I do judge

AskAsk

DizzyDizzy10 said:

AskAsk said:

just out of interest as there are so many responses on this thread, i have lost track. 

OP - has your boyfriend walked out on you or is he still there?

He has said he needs a few days. 

I did text him at like 3 am asking if he hated me. He replied saying no. So at least he doesn't hate my guts.

i don't think he would hate you if he does love you like you say, he would just feel disappointed and sad that you had deceived him and he would feel sorry for himself that you had got him into this mess as giving up someone you love is not an easy thing.  which you are feeling right now.

all you can do is tell him how you feel and how bad you feel about not telling him before, and why.  then just leave him to it as it will take him time time to deal with the situation and hassling him for a decision is not going to help.  something like this, you wouldn't be able to process for some days after you are told the information and it will take a lot of time to even come to a decision.

without a doubt, this will now change the relationship forever, even if it does continue.  whatever happens, things are the way they are and it is not going to change.  so if he does decide to move on, then that's the way the cookie crumbles and you learn to be more honest with people in future if you think there is a chance that you may want to be with them long term. 

but hypocritically, don't tell them you have worked as an escort in your past as that will make them judge you and distrust you.

DizzyDizzy10

AskAsk said:

all you can do is tell him how you feel and how bad you feel about not telling him before, and why.  then just leave him to it as it will take him time time to deal with the situation and hassling him for a decision is not going to help.  something like this, you wouldn't be able to process for some days after you are told the information and it will take a lot of time to even come to a decision.

Thank you I will do just this.