Can my ex demand this?

ToxicWomble

Forget toxic masculinity- toxic feminism is far worse and far more prevalent 

Comms69

ontheroad1970 said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

JamoLew said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

One of the many inequalities than men have to endure that feminists ignore sadly - but that's a whole different topic/thread

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

Maybe it will change when men start to step up more and do a more equal share of parenting?

And women do equal share of the income generation?....

The two are inherently connected though, aren't they?  If men did a truly equal share of parenting, they might start to experience some of the same setbacks that working mothers do that help to limit their earning power.

Such as? Just curious which setbacks we’re discussing so as not to jump to any conclusions 

Perhaps it would be best to open a thread on sexism/non sexism elsewhere rather than open a discussion on it in this thread?

OPs question has been answered, discussion progressed. 

ontheroad1970

Comms69 said:

ontheroad1970 said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

JamoLew said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

One of the many inequalities than men have to endure that feminists ignore sadly - but that's a whole different topic/thread

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

Maybe it will change when men start to step up more and do a more equal share of parenting?

And women do equal share of the income generation?....

The two are inherently connected though, aren't they?  If men did a truly equal share of parenting, they might start to experience some of the same setbacks that working mothers do that help to limit their earning power.

Such as? Just curious which setbacks we’re discussing so as not to jump to any conclusions 

Perhaps it would be best to open a thread on sexism/non sexism elsewhere rather than open a discussion on it in this thread?

OPs question has been answered, discussion progressed. 

Not decisively it hadn't, doesn't change the fact that an irrelevant meta discussion helps no one.

Comms69

ontheroad1970 said:

Comms69 said:

ontheroad1970 said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

JamoLew said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

One of the many inequalities than men have to endure that feminists ignore sadly - but that's a whole different topic/thread

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

Maybe it will change when men start to step up more and do a more equal share of parenting?

And women do equal share of the income generation?....

The two are inherently connected though, aren't they?  If men did a truly equal share of parenting, they might start to experience some of the same setbacks that working mothers do that help to limit their earning power.

Such as? Just curious which setbacks we’re discussing so as not to jump to any conclusions 

Perhaps it would be best to open a thread on sexism/non sexism elsewhere rather than open a discussion on it in this thread?

OPs question has been answered, discussion progressed. 

Not decisively it hadn't, doesn't change the fact that an irrelevant meta discussion helps no one.

Which bit remains unanswered I must’ve missed it?

eamon

Can't believe I haven't seen this thread before.

My take on it and similar to AskAsk. Soon to be ex-husband wants soon to be ex-wife out of the house so as he can have a good nosey around. He wants the evidence that reinforces his thought processes. He will be  looking for evidence of adultery (I know in this day & age there is no need to go down this route) so he will go through knicker drawers, dirty washing, wardrobes. Likely try and access any PC's, laptops, tablets that are present. Will certainly be looking for any correspondence. As others have mentioned he could be planning to install covert cameras etc.

Don't let him in. In fact I'd be tempted to contact the Police and at least get this issue on their radar.

Comms69

eamon said:

Can't believe I haven't seen this thread before.

My take on it and similar to AskAsk. Soon to be ex-husband wants soon to be ex-wife out of the house so as he can have a good nosey around. He wants the evidence that reinforces his thought processes. He will be  looking for evidence of adultery (I know in this day & age there is no need to go down this route) so he will go through knicker drawers, dirty washing, wardrobes. Likely try and access any PC's, laptops, tablets that are present. Will certainly be looking for any correspondence. As others have mentioned he could be planning to install covert cameras etc.

Don't let him in. In fact I'd be tempted to contact the Police and at least get this issue on their radar.

Except he can, literally, legally move back in tomorrow..... 

TBagpuss

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

Surely at this point if you want a valuation just hire a surveyor. 

if i were the court, i would only accept a surveyor's valuation and not an estate agent. 

OP - i would advise you get a surveyor to value the property as they will give you a more honest valuation than an estate agent.  estate agents will always overvalue a property, even when you tell them you want to sell the house quickly and want an honest, realistic price.

honest and realistic are words that do not exist in an estate agent's vocabulary unfortunately.

The normal process which courts tend to expect is that you get three agents and ask them to confirm what they think the realistic sale price will be as well as what they would recommend as an asking price, and you aim to agree on a value based on the mid point of their advice (having of course also done your own research)
getting a surveyor is great, but it is not free and so it's normally only done f you have a very unusual property or if you are a long way apart on value, or where you are prepping for a final hearing at court. 

AskAsk

TBagpuss said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

Surely at this point if you want a valuation just hire a surveyor. 

if i were the court, i would only accept a surveyor's valuation and not an estate agent. 

OP - i would advise you get a surveyor to value the property as they will give you a more honest valuation than an estate agent.  estate agents will always overvalue a property, even when you tell them you want to sell the house quickly and want an honest, realistic price.

honest and realistic are words that do not exist in an estate agent's vocabulary unfortunately.

The normal process which courts tend to expect is that you get three agents and ask them to confirm what they think the realistic sale price will be as well as what they would recommend as an asking price, and you aim to agree on a value based on the mid point of their advice (having of course also done your own research)
getting a surveyor is great, but it is not free and so it's normally only done f you have a very unusual property or if you are a long way apart on value, or where you are prepping for a final hearing at court. 

if i were the OP, i would pay for a surveyor as the estate agent will more than likely overvalue the property and so the surveyor's fee will justify itself.  of course, also get estate agents' valuation as well but if they come up with much higher values then tell them that you got a lower valuation from a surveyor, so could they change their expectation please.

if i was the OP's husband, then of course, i would only use the estate agents and ask them to be optimistic.  as for him, high valuation of the property will work in his favour.  so the OP having a surveyor's valuation can challenge any manipulation that her husband may be doing with estate agents.

Asonedoorcloses

I started this thread and opened a can of worms it seems....just an update on what actually happened for anyone wanting to know.
I texted him explaining how the 4 estate agents I had over were in the property for 5 mins and did not want me to show them round. I was happy for him to arrange another estate agent and to even be present as well but we would NOT be going out . I received a reply asking whether I was happy for him to give the estate agent my number to arrange a viewing when it was suitable for me. I agreed of course and within a day the aforementioned estate agent had been, all-be-it for 5 mins (!) and had emailed us both with the estimate. 
My take on the situation and the advice I received from you all? There was no way I was going to let him into the property without me here, his right to come in yes but my right to stay. He knows he cant bully me anymore, I wont be taken advantage of anymore and I WILL fight my corner.
Thanks to the friendly comments, in one ear out the other with the rest

Comms69

CNH1979 said:

I started this thread and opened a can of worms it seems....just an update on what actually happened for anyone wanting to know.
I texted him explaining how the 4 estate agents I had over were in the property for 5 mins and did not want me to show them round. I was happy for him to arrange another estate agent and to even be present as well but we would NOT be going out . I received a reply asking whether I was happy for him to give the estate agent my number to arrange a viewing when it was suitable for me. I agreed of course and within a day the aforementioned estate agent had been, all-be-it for 5 mins (!) and had emailed us both with the estimate. 
My take on the situation and the advice I received from you all? There was no way I was going to let him into the property without me here, his right to come in yes but my right to stay. He knows he cant bully me anymore, I wont be taken advantage of anymore and I WILL fight my corner.
Thanks to the friendly comments, in one ear out the other with the rest

Sounds like he really just doesnt want to be around you.