Can my ex demand this?

Comms69

onwards&upwards said:

Marvel1 said:

comeandgo said:

When my husband and I were going through divorce there would be no way on earth I would leave the house with him in it.

But it was ok the other way way around?

When they separate and one leaves, for one of them it is their home, for the other it is not anymore.  That should be respected.

Because leaving is often a voluntary choice......

JamoLew

this thread is heading the same way they always do when a certain poster gets involved.
Consider this:
I work in a female dominated profession (healthcare) - over 30 years I have seen people promoted ahead of me and above me - a large proportion of people get paid more than me and many of them have taken time out over the years to raise a family
The so called "wage gap" has NOTHING to do with gender - it's about ability, desire, opportunity, qualifications, hours you work, job field etc etc, the list goes on but NOT gender

Please - have a watch of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WMuzhQXJoY
I ofund it very enlightening from the opposite point of view
Also check out Jordan Peterson and his debunking of the perceived/alleged gender wage gap

I'm out, pointless trying to discuss with someone who isn't willing to listen to the other side an open their mind

Also - dont confuse equality with equity - i know which i would prefer

Tigsteroonie

OP, if XH is saying that it is because he cannot stand to see you, then could you arrange for a trusted and authoritarian friend to be present during the valuation instead,whilst you go out? Someone who, if necessary, could stand up to him to prevent any cameras or lock-changing (or at least, let you know that's what XH has done). It's not as though he's said he wants the house entirely empty, just that he doesn't want to see you ....

Comms69

JamoLew said:

this thread is heading the same way they always do when a certain poster gets involved.
Consider this:
I work in a female dominated profession (healthcare) - over 30 years I have seen people promoted ahead of me and above me - a large proportion of people get paid more than me and many of them have taken time out over the years to raise a family
The so called "wage gap" has NOTHING to do with gender - it's about ability, desire, opportunity, qualifications, hours you work, job field etc etc, the list goes on but NOT gender

Please - have a watch of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WMuzhQXJoY
I ofund it very enlightening from the opposite point of view
Also check out Jordan Peterson and his debunking of the perceived/alleged gender wage gap

I'm out, pointless trying to discuss with someone who isn't willing to listen to the other side an open their mind

Also - dont confuse equality with equity - i know which i would prefer

Gender does play a role, we haven’t eliminated sexism. Just the gender isn’t always the one you think it is. 

Comms69

Tigsteroonie said:

OP, if XH is saying that it is because he cannot stand to see you, then could you arrange for a trusted and authoritarian friend to be present during the valuation instead,whilst you go out? Someone who, if necessary, could stand up to him to prevent any cameras or lock-changing (or at least, let you know that's what XH has done). It's not as though he's said he wants the house entirely empty, just that he doesn't want to see you ....

Just from a legal point of view. He could tell friend to leave. He could legally put up cameras and legally change locks. 

Sky_

Most absent parents would welcome any opportunity to see their children, so his request says a lot about him, in my opinion.

How are contact handovers managed, if he 'can't stand to look at you'?  If the children see him via a friend or family member, could that person come to the house to support you when he comes for the valuation?

JamoLew

Comms69 said:

Gender does play a role, we haven’t eliminated sexism. Just the gender isn’t always the one you think it is. 

I think we are on the same page - just saying it in different ways

burlingtonfl6

https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=jonathan+pie+wage+gap+

This one is pretty good too

AskAsk

Sky_ said:

Most absent parents would welcome any opportunity to see their children, so his request says a lot about him, in my opinion.

How are contact handovers managed, if he 'can't stand to look at you'?  If the children see him via a friend or family member, could that person come to the house to support you when he comes for the valuation?

i can't stand to look at traffic wardens when they are looking at my car, but that don't mean i can tell them to go for a walk for a couple of hours while i sort out my parking!

that is not a valid reason for anything in life.  there is a lot of things you can't stand the look of in life, but so what? wear some dark sun glasses to limit vision, problem solved.  what a drama king.  if my husband said that to me, i would make sure i was there when he comes and that he would see me and hear me.  codswallop to having a fight and a row, sometimes you just have to stand your ground and fight and tell people where to get off.

his behaviour will only work against him when he goes to the divorce court hearing as the judge will see what a prat he is.

ontheroad1970

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Comms69 said:

onwards&upwards said:

JamoLew said:

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

One of the many inequalities than men have to endure that feminists ignore sadly - but that's a whole different topic/thread

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

Maybe it will change when men start to step up more and do a more equal share of parenting?

And women do equal share of the income generation?....

The two are inherently connected though, aren't they?  If men did a truly equal share of parenting, they might start to experience some of the same setbacks that working mothers do that help to limit their earning power.

Such as? Just curious which setbacks we’re discussing so as not to jump to any conclusions 

Perhaps it would be best to open a thread on sexism/non sexism elsewhere rather than open a discussion on it in this thread?