Can my ex demand this?

AskAsk

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

it is not unreasonable to go out for 15 to 20 minutes walk, except it may rain when the estate agent comes round!
also the OP's husband has asked that the OP and the kids go out for a couple of hours.  not sure why he needs a couple of ours, except may be to install secret cameras around the house??    or may be to change the locks??  

i personally don't see why the OP has to leave the house at all.  it's not like she is going to eat him if he sees her.

Asonedoorcloses

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

You are missing the point! Yes I COULD go out for a half hour walk but why should I?! He cannot demand that I am not at home...

Comms69

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

it is not unreasonable to go out for 15 to 20 minutes walk, except it may rain when the estate agent comes round!
also the OP's husband has asked that the OP and the kids go out for a couple of hours.  not sure why he needs a couple of ours, except may be to install secret cameras around the house??    or may be to change the locks??  

i personally don't see why the OP has to leave the house at all.  it's not like she is going to eat him if he sees her.

Indeed, but let's be fair the OP hasnt mentioned the weather as a factor; and again, surely the kids have been out in the rain - not ideal granted.

Ye a couple of hours isnt necessary; and that is a slight concern. I agree the OP doesnt need to, but path of least resistence. 

If he was going to change locks or install cameras surely he'd do so when the OP is out anyway. Again i assume the OP leaves home occasionally. 

AskAsk

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

it is not unreasonable to go out for 15 to 20 minutes walk, except it may rain when the estate agent comes round!
also the OP's husband has asked that the OP and the kids go out for a couple of hours.  not sure why he needs a couple of ours, except may be to install secret cameras around the house??    or may be to change the locks??  

i personally don't see why the OP has to leave the house at all.  it's not like she is going to eat him if he sees her.

Indeed, but let's be fair the OP hasnt mentioned the weather as a factor; and again, surely the kids have been out in the rain - not ideal granted.

Ye a couple of hours isnt necessary; and that is a slight concern. I agree the OP doesnt need to, but path of least resistence. 

If he was going to change locks or install cameras surely he'd do so when the OP is out anyway. Again i assume the OP leaves home occasionally. 

i was saying that as a joke! 

i don't know the OP's husband, but i doubt he is going to do this as it is not rocket science to get the locksmith to open the door again!

I think it will be that he doesn't want her to speak to the estate agent to make them value the house less than what he hopes it will fetch as it is to his advantage that the house is overvalued.  the couple of hours to give him a clear window.  an hour would really be a lot of time already but he may worry the estate agent won't be on time and would give a time span of when they will be turning up rather than an exact appointment.

k3lvc

CNH1979 said:

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

You are missing the point! Yes I COULD go out for a half hour walk but why should I?! He cannot demand that I am not at home...

But the point is, as mentioned my many, that currently he has as much right to be in the house as you. Given you want the divorce and the situation sorting is a couple of hours out of the house not a suitable 'cost' of progressing this ? If you start being obstructive then this potentially antagonises him further and you end up with it dragging out longer or a new resident in the house (as is his right)

How about suggesting that you use the car while he's at the house ?

JamoLew

There is obviously a lot of history going on and emotions are still raw.
To be honest - it sounds like it would be better for you to not be there so he won't have any opportunity to cause any upset/a scene - whatever.
Can he demand it ? No is the answer
Do you have a friend or relative that can be in the house instead if your reluctance is based on trust issues ?

Comms69

CNH1979 said:

Comms69 said:

CNH1979 said:

JamoLew said:

while you are still married - it could also be argued that he part-owns items in the house if they were bought with joint assets/income
Sometimes the path of least resistance is the easiest one - you want him out of your life - I get that, but while you are still married and the house is jointly owned, your options are limited

Very true. But as I said, I have a 7 and 3 year with no car (as he took that!) And we live in a rural area with nothing close by. I'm not sure where he expects us to go?! 

Surely a 10 minute walk with the kids is possible? I cant imagine you keep the kids indoors for months at a time

You are missing the point! Yes I COULD go out for a half hour walk but why should I?! He cannot demand that I am not at home...

No i know, i told you that...

I was simply saying about paths of least resistence.

Mojisola

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

Surely at this point if you want a valuation just hire a surveyor. 

if i were the court, i would only accept a surveyor's valuation and not an estate agent. 
OP - i would advise you get a surveyor to value the property as they will give you a more honest valuation than an estate agent. 

What these two posts said - www.ricsfirms.com

burlingtonfl6

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

JamoLew

burlingtonfl6 said:

AskAsk said:

Comms69 said:

AskAsk said:

you don't have to leave the house as it is your house and more than likely the court will award you the house anyway if you have young children.
he doesn't have to show the estate agent round as i think they are more than capable of finding their way around a house.  let's face it, your house is unlikely to be as big as buckingham palace where you need someone to escort you to the different wings!    
i think he worries you will point out all the negatives to the estate agent to devalue the property in your favour.  just say to him that he is welcome to come round if he wants and you can stay out of the estate agent's way when they are there.  it should take no more than 15 to 20 minutes for an estate agent to look round and put a value on the property.

Courts have generally switched to providing occupancy rights, rather than equity rights. (where assets are otherwise evenly split)

i have been told by people who have recently got divorced that the courts now look for a clean break as they don't like court orders that are timed.  people that we know who have got divorced recently have always had a clean break order and the wife with young children have kept the house.

Even when both parents work?
Surely that's not fair in 2020

One of the many inequalities than men have to endure that feminists ignore sadly - but that's a whole different topic/thread