Mum commenting on my house

onwards&upwards

Pollycat said:

sweetsand said:

Perhaps it's time to remind you of what you posted as it looks as though you have forgotten.
"

Wouldn't it be better for all concerned for you to deal with it on a proactive basis and discuss it calm ly with your Mum instead of reacting and snapping?"
By everyone I meant the two subjects you was referring to but you knew that already.
I would appreciate it if you now withdrew your misread claims and check your previous posts before responding to me
Thank you

I think you need to familiarise yourself with the meaning of the word 'everybody'.

I did not mention the word 'everybody' in the post you quoted.

Why on earth are you still responding to this poster?  They have clearly joined up to stir and get reactions, and they've been very successful!

Pollycat

onwards&upwards said:

Why on earth are you still responding to this poster?  They have clearly joined up to stir and get reactions, and they've been very successful!

Well, I do like to give people the benefit of the doubt.

But in light of your post and this one

JGB1955 said:

Perhaps YOU could do the same? Your accusation of telling 'porkie pies' on the Motoring Forum (based on your total misread of an original post on this forum) is still awaiting an apology....

I guess maybe you do have a point.

sweetsand

Pollycat said:

sweetsand said:

Perhaps it's time to remind you of what you posted as it looks as though you have forgotten.
"

Wouldn't it be better for all concerned for you to deal with it on a proactive basis and discuss it calm ly with your Mum instead of reacting and snapping?"
By everyone I meant the two subjects you was referring to but you knew that already.
I would appreciate it if you now withdrew your misread claims and check your previous posts before responding to me
Thank you

I think you need to familiarise yourself with the meaning of the word 'everybody'.

I did not mention the word 'everybody' in the post you quoted.

You meant everybody in the thread ie the two people you referred to and clearly mean this as well in general. If you really believe you did not mean that, then that is your prerogative. I've said what I've needed to say and I stand by that as the context of your post meant exactly that.

pickledonionspaceraider

Pollycat said:

pickledonionspaceraider said:

The Family board has become very toxic lately

Why do you think that is?

Why? Erm...I am not sure why strangers behave as they do.

Pollycat

pickledonionspaceraider said:

Why? Erm...I am not sure why strangers behave as they do.

I just wondered if you had the same opinion as I have, that's all.

Never mind.

swingaloo

Pollycat said:

pickledonionspaceraider said:

Why? Erm...I am not sure why strangers behave as they do.

I just wondered if you had the same opinion as I have, that's all.

Never mind.

I think I may have the same opinion

Silvertabby

Slightly different take on this subject....
We were living in RAF married quarters when we bought the house we still live in, in preparation for retirement from the RAF.
When my mum realised that our mortgage (rates were 7%+ then) was twice the cost of our subsidised MQ rent she was absolutely beside herself - she just couldn't/wouldn't understand why we didn't stay in the MQ and 'save' all that money.

sweetsand

Silvertabby said:

Slightly different take on this subject....
We were living in RAF married quarters when we bought the house we still live in, in preparation for retirement from the RAF.
When my mum realised that our mortgage (rates were 7%+ then) was twice the cost of our subsidised MQ rent she was absolutely beside herself - she just couldn't/wouldn't understand why we didn't stay in the MQ and 'save' all that money.

You mum is like most parents, they worry.
You done the right thing you can't beat your own property and have a choice to a degree to move if you wish
Thanks for sharing, nice story
x

KxMx

@Fireflyaway
Have you had any opportunity to put some of the suggestions into use?

How have things generally been going with her?

MrsStepford

Fireflyaway said:

My mum makes me feel so uncomfortable when she comes round. I can see her scrutinizing things and if I leave her alone, she starts 'tidying up'. She has told me many times that my house is messy or dirty and constantly offers to 'help' clean up. She once told me she would feel depressed if she had a kitchen like mine. Today she was commenting on the living room carpet. It is in bad condition I agree. It's old and stained and our puppy has chewed a piece! However until he is properly house trained I see no point in replacing it. So when my mum was leaving she said she worried about me. I asked why and she started crying and said she is upset by me 'living in these conditions '!  Part of me just can't take it in. I really don't believe my house is that bad. I find it insulting and rude that she keeps commenting. We all have different standards and if I'm happy then why is it her business? I know she has my best interests at heart but I feel she is overstepping boundaries. I've tried making jokes or brushing it off but it's upsetting me now. Should I talk to her about it? Should I limit her coming over and go to hers instead?  I'm just getting tired of the criticism. 

Pre-pandemic, my mother would nag about the DIY, run her fingers over surfaces, get up and do dishes by hand as soon as she had finished eating and offer to vacuum our hardwood floors. You either have to tackle her or let it go. I find distraction works eg I got this cook book from a charity shop, what do you think ? Have some chocolate..