Mum commenting on my house

sweetsand

suki1964 said:

Sea_Shell said:

suki1964 said:

The trouble with mothers is they gave birth to you and reared you and they never accept you are a grown up and are  perfectly capable of running your own life, and that of your family without their intervention

Never forget when mum was in hospital and dad (step) was still alive. Well he was disabled himself and he and mums car was a Berlingo which he could get in and out off. Mine was a corsa, Mr S has an ST. So the only way dad could get to visit if one of us drove the berlingo. He just would not accept that our insurance covered us to drive it. He would not be told because he knew best. I even rang the local police and asked them to explain ( btw he was retired copper ) and still he would not accept it and come the end he paid to have us both put on the insurance

He knew best

He was the adult

We were the children who knew !!!!!! all

We were in our late 40's

Oh and mum still takes my washing off the line and rehangs it cos apparently I don't know how to 

To be fair the "driving other cars" extension on your insurance would have probably only been for Third Party Damage only.   Yes, it meets the legal requirements, but wouldn't have covered damage to the Berlingo.   If you (your Dad) wanted the Berlingo to be covered Fully Comprehensive then you would need to be added as drivers to that policy.

TBF, both mine and Mr S insurance covers us fully comp to drive any car with the permission of the car owner

We buy a lot of cars so we have to have it

That only covers you as third party insurance unless the car owner has you a named driver and that is a fact.

https://www.comparethemarket.com/car-insurance/content/can-i-use-family-member-car/

Even the above link is not clear as some insurance co's may only have that option at additional cost.
Our 4 cars all all fully insured and we are all named drivers on, named drivers on every single policy for full comp insurance. We get the car ins slightly cheaper as we are all advance drivers.

JGB1955

Oh dear @sweetsand, you do seem to have got yourself WAY off topic.  I suggest you post your musings on either the Motoring or Insurance boards.

sweetsand

@JGB1955
Oh dear, you seemed to not mention who started talking about trade insurance, never mind, I know.
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Morglin

sweetsand said:

suki1964 said:

Sea_Shell said:

suki1964 said:

The trouble with mothers is they gave birth to you and reared you and they never accept you are a grown up and are  perfectly capable of running your own life, and that of your family without their intervention

Never forget when mum was in hospital and dad (step) was still alive. Well he was disabled himself and he and mums car was a Berlingo which he could get in and out off. Mine was a corsa, Mr S has an ST. So the only way dad could get to visit if one of us drove the berlingo. He just would not accept that our insurance covered us to drive it. He would not be told because he knew best. I even rang the local police and asked them to explain ( btw he was retired copper ) and still he would not accept it and come the end he paid to have us both put on the insurance

He knew best

He was the adult

We were the children who knew !!!!!! all

We were in our late 40's

Oh and mum still takes my washing off the line and rehangs it cos apparently I don't know how to 

To be fair the "driving other cars" extension on your insurance would have probably only been for Third Party Damage only.   Yes, it meets the legal requirements, but wouldn't have covered damage to the Berlingo.   If you (your Dad) wanted the Berlingo to be covered Fully Comprehensive then you would need to be added as drivers to that policy.

TBF, both mine and Mr S insurance covers us fully comp to drive any car with the permission of the car owner

We buy a lot of cars so we have to have it

That only covers you as third party insurance unless the car owner has you a named driver and that is a fact.

https://www.comparethemarket.com/car-insurance/content/can-i-use-family-member-car/

Even the above link is not clear as some insurance co's may only have that option at additional cost.
Our 4 cars all all fully insured and we are all named drivers on, named drivers on every single policy for full comp insurance. We get the car ins slightly cheaper as we are all advance drivers.

They have a Trader policy, which is totally different to a normal car insurance policy, regardless of who may be advanced drivers or not.🙄

KimBaumgart

In family relationships, it really hard setting boundaries without getting in a serious fight. My mum criticizes everything I do. I tolerate it until I get to the melting point...then I snap!

Pollycat

KimBaumgart said:

In family relationships, it really hard setting boundaries without getting in a serious fight. My mum criticizes everything I do. I tolerate it until I get to the melting point...then I snap!

Wouldn't it be better for all concerned for you to deal with it on a proactive basis and discuss it calmly with your Mum instead of reacting and snapping?

sweetsand

KimBaumgart said:

In family relationships, it really hard setting boundaries without getting in a serious fight. My mum criticizes everything I do. I tolerate it until I get to the melting point...then I snap!

We are all different and it happens to some and does not happen to others.

sweetsand

Pollycat said:

KimBaumgart said:

In family relationships, it really hard setting boundaries without getting in a serious fight. My mum criticizes everything I do. I tolerate it until I get to the melting point...then I snap!

Wouldn't it be better for all concerned for you to deal with it on a proactive basis and discuss it calmly with your Mum instead of reacting and snapping?

In and ideal world yes, but everyone is different.

Pollycat

sweetsand said:

In and ideal world yes, but everyone is different.

I'd want to make my world as ideal as possible. And to me that would mean acting proactively by trying to set boundaries in a calm manner.

Kimbaumgart talks about setting boundaries without getting into a serious fight.

I simply made a suggestion.

Maybe it hasn't occurred to Kimbaumgart that acting proactively may improve her relationship with her Mum.

Of course people are different.

But Kim's Mum may welcome a calm discussion about boundaries instead of her daughter snapping when she oversteps those boundaries.

Of course, Kim's Mum may not welcome that discussion.

Only Kim is able to know that.

sweetsand

Pollycat said:

sweetsand said:

In and ideal world yes, but everyone is different.

I'd want to make my world as ideal as possible. And to me that would mean acting proactively by trying to set boundaries in a calm manner.

Kimbaumgart talks about setting boundaries without getting into a serious fight.

I simply made a suggestion.

Maybe it hasn't occurred to Kimbaumgart that acting proactively may improve her relationship with her Mum.

Of course people are different.

But Kim's Mum may welcome a calm discussion about boundaries instead of her daughter snapping when she oversteps those boundaries.

Of course, Kim's Mum may not welcome that discussion.

Only Kim is able to know that.

The highlighted bit. Not at all as a "discussion" is not a one way process, it's a two way thin so kim does not know what her mum will feel, do and this could vary minute by minute and day by day. Like I said not everyone is the same and if we could all be cool, calm etc, there would not be the problems in the world we have now.
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