A lightbulb?-Now MM's 5 in 4 challenge!

neverdespairgirl

MidlandsMum wrote: »

Right. Friday. Go through statement with a fine toothed comb.

In the last two weeks he should have had 80 spending money. He has actually had 265. An overspend of 185.

That is a LOT of money - for anyone, on any income, really! Nearly £20 a day.

He's taking the !!!!, and blaming you and making you feel crap is bang out of order! I want to come round and read the Riot Act to him for upsetting you!

Keeping_Positive

thevinternet wrote: »

Midlands Mum, sometimes things need to hit rock bottom before they can get any better.

You talk about wanting to trust your partner, but unfortunately he has to earn that trust. Don't feel bad about hanging on to his debit card. If he's going to behave like a child (shouting and throwing his debit card about) then you're going to have to treat him like one.

You can't change other people's behaviour, they can only change it themselves. So until he decides that he wants to change, for the good of your whole family, you are going to have to keep him on a very tight rein for a while. It's sad, but he's living above his means, it's as simple as that....so now he has to face the consequences of that.

I think you're doing really well in dealing with him. Chin up, I'm sure things will start to get better from here on in. When he decides to grow up, grow a pair and start acting like a man with responsibilites, then you can trust him.

Couldnt have put it better myself. Look at how much progress you have made. Yes its not ideal that you have to treat him like a kid but if thats what's needed then I'm sure you can be strong enough to, Hopefully not too long in the future he will come around.

Please dont see it as a defeat that you feel you need the extra help from medication. Lots of people do especially in similar situations. Take one day at a time and you will get through it.

Optikal

This story reminds me a lot of my younger sister and her over spending petulant fiance. So i understand how you must feel MM. My heart and thoughts go out to you hun, hope you find a resolution soon. ((((huggles))))

MidlandsMum

Have dropped the limit on my Marbles card to 350 from 500, it's now at 330.
PAid not enough on Hubby's BCard so they sent a letter, I got the card nos mixed up, so have paid a massive chunk off mine by accident. Ho hum. Nevermind!:T

Keeping_Positive

Oh what a shame you must be more careful!!

MidlandsMum

Am in a foul mood for I-dont-know-what reason today. Work isnt helping. This time of year we get allsorts of silly questions asked of us and not many bookings and I'm increasingly frustrated. One customer demanded a free amendment to her holiday today as she asked when she booked to be near a beach, so she was booked a room with a sea view, then she discovered we had sold her a resort with a shingle beach, but we should have known she wanted a sandy beach. Then I read on the travel board there are holidays for 25 pounds for families on benefits. I'd love a holiday for 25 quid but because we do as we should and earn we don't get any concessions/extra cash/state help/etc. Yes, yes, I know there are some poor souls in the world but it's hard enough bringing up kids on two wages. I'm so frustrated that I'm struggling even on our income. (36k) Last time I got like this I ended up chucking my headset across the office and storming off and locking myself in the loo and had to be coaxed out after an hour (I went to the Dr soon after).
Youngest son managed to split his head open on a wheely bin when he was out playing yesterday afternoon so there was a trip to A&E but he's all glued back together and is ok now.

Just fed up with people, I guess. S'pose that's what you have to put up with when you work with the public.

neverdespairgirl

Tomorrow's another day - and a better one.

MidlandsMum

It's very odd to see the spending account in the same state I left it in. He would have cleared it out by now if we hadnt have had that little set-to, I think.

Atlantic Electric and Gas have credited my bills AC with almost 90 pounds and I don't know why. If anything I thought I owed them a few pounds. I think I will not touch it and keep an eye on it. At least that means I wont have to touch that account to pay off the holiday balance when I get paid next week. (12 weeks today!!!)

I'm thinking we will need a lot more spending money this year due to the poor rate we are getting against the euro. I'm pretty good at holiday budgetting and having the mobile home means we will just fill the fridge and freezer on the day we get there at the nearest Hypermarket and then just topup through the week with bread, milk, steak burgers for the BBQ, icecream and of course wine and beer! So looking forward to it. I really need some sunshine! Anyway, ramble on MM, why dont you.

So, I reckon I need about 800 for spending. It's my birthday in April so I'll ask for cash to put toward it, MIL usually gives us a couple of hundred every year "for ice creams", I'll try and do 200 in Apr and have a big push in May for the rest. So, once these last debts are done hopefully by the middle of April, that's my new challenge.

MidlandsMum

Letters in the post from Atlantic Electric and Gas, the money is a loyalty bonus and we will get it every year we are with them!

Verbatim

MidlandsMum wrote: »

Letters in the post from Atlantic Electric and Gas, the money is a loyalty bonus and we will get it every year we are with them!

What a nice surprise. Hope your OH is still feeling chastened and doesn't want his debit card card back. You're doing so well MM.