A lightbulb?-Now MM's 5 in 4 challenge!

Keeping_Positive

Just remember if he wont play ball prioritise your debts first

MidlandsMum

I cant figure him out at all. He hates the debts around his neck but then he's so impatient he has to have everything (and I mean everything- and the best of everything) yesterday. This has been to the detriment of the house (we need new kitchen and bathroom), the kids (I have to buy the cheapest shoes and clothes for them, and to a point to my mental health (I'm a lot better now). I really dont want to sound like a whining martyr because at least he does go to work and he does have a pretty decent job, last Wednesday he was supposed to do his guitar lesson but he cancelled it to play golf, then Thursday he cancelled the other lesson, then Friday night he went out til I dont know what time and got drunk at the golf clubhouse, then Saturday morning he went out to play golf, then at 3pm he called me, said he was going bowling for a friends birthday and he was being picked up at 4, could I iron a particular shirt, then he came home, went out, forgot his keys so I had to get up at 3am to let him in. Sunday he had the kids while I was at work, took them spending money in Brum, I came home from work at 4, cooked and served and cleaned up after a roast dinner, sorted the next days packed lunches and he had the nerve to moan at me because I sat on a shirt he left on a chair. When I told him to shut up he said my attitude stank. :rotfl:Then today I get the "sorry I've overspent" text. AGAIN.

Phew. Thanks for the rant.

Keeping_Positive

Sounds like you deserve a good rant. I know its hard as they are supposedly adults and can look after themsleves but sometimes :mad: :mad: :mad: .

You know your OH so what can you do to get back or make a point?

In the meantime ((((hugs)))).

MidlandsMum

See, this is the thing. Him going out til 3am does not bother me in the least. Him going out all day and leaving me with the kids does not bother me in the least. I like my kids. We have fun if he's there and if he's not there. It doesnt really make too much difference. I like to go to bed early anyway. What does bother me is the fact he knows I have taken on the responsibility of making a difference to our lives and he seems to think if he just has a bit extra here or there it wont matter because my spending is under control, but when I come to the bank accounts and I see he's had that extra tenner here or there and I cant afford to put any petrol in to go and see my friend who lives 35 miles away, or I cant get new shoes for the kids, or I have to buy smart price food again because he's blown the budget I'm starting to get ticked off.

Keeping_Positive

I would explain how you feel write it down in neccessary and warn him next time he overspends you will ebay one of his prized golf items to make up!

He really should be embarressed that he is taking good food and shoes off his children to go bowling, out etc.

MidlandsMum

Well, in a fit of temper I have just decided to claim back all the charges that GE put on my House of Fraser card over the years as I'm sure they would have more than paid the balance. I've also done the same for my marbles account. I'm in no hurry to get these back but if I do, all the better and if they say no I have absolutely no compunction about taking them to the small claims court. It worked with HSBC .


Gah, the kids have made wholemeal toast and the smell is killing me.

Keeping_Positive

Great plan

Sorry I dont mean to rip into yor OH I know he works hard its just frustrating to see how hard you are working for your family and he hasnt really seen the light yet.

MidlandsMum

Wendy, it's really fine, honestly. I know what you are saying is true. I'm just such a softy when it comes to him. We've been together since we were kids in our late teens and we have been through a lot. I love him to bits but sometimes... nnngh.. you know, he just makes me everso slightly despair.

chevalier

You know I really had thought that your OH have finally GROWN UP, but obviously he hasn't. So tell him from me that he is an ignorant, selfish little boy, that his children are more responsible than him, and that it is time for him to step and BE A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. And a responsible parent. This means PUTTING HIS CHILDREN FIRST LAST AND ALWAYS BEFORE HIM.

Sorry but he is being a prize whats it, and if he leaves his keys at home on a jaunt out like that after spending that much money YOU DON'T HAVE, then I would suddenly become very deaf, and let him get cold in the car for a night.
chev

Lemon_Tree

another thought, anyway of taking a cash card away from him or giving him one for an account with no overdraft that you put an allowance into each month so you can regulate how fast he spends your money?
Makes you sound as if you're dealing with a child but to honest they way he's all 'I want, I want, I want...... " he's acting like a child.
I really do hate to be so harsh, just trying to figure out some ideas which may help you.

Oh how are you doing on the pay your debt challenges? any news as to how many you've cleared?