Organising a funeral during Covid

Pollycat

MoneySeeker1 said:

A big learning curve indeed - but a couple of things have been inefficiency, rather than changed way of doing things and a quick catch-up. Whilst I was waiting on the FD doing what he'd said to me he would do (ie forwarding certificate to me re registration of death) my brother was nipping in behind my back Registering the death and then presenting it as fait accompli. There was also the matter of FD had arranged a Minister from a different denomination to my mothers (fortunately - it's another denomination she's okay with - but her own had been available and weren't very happy about being sidelined understandably).

As I said - you had issues with your brother complicating matters.

But didn't he have POA?

Blame your brother, not the FD.

It sounds like he was caught in the middle of 2 siblings instructing him to do different things.

Not a nice position to be in.

Wouldn't a phone call to the FD to book the right minister have worked?

Could it have just been a misunderstanding?

74jax

MoneySeeker1 said:

Whilst I was waiting on the FD doing what he'd said to me he would do (ie forwarding certificate to me re registration of death) my brother was nipping in behind my back Registering the death and then presenting it as fait accompli.

There was also the matter of FD had arranged a Minister from a different denomination to my mothers (fortunately - it's another denomination she's okay with - but her own had been available and weren't very happy about being sidelined understandably).

I haven't really commented but the first point happened to us too.  Due to new guidelines everyday we didn't know what happened with registering death etc in our authority, but it was relatively easy in the end. Easier than having to go in person..... The first I heard was my brother calling saying he'd done it..... I was waiting for the medical certificate, He'd somehow got the medical form and registrar phoned him, it was all relatively easy.  He then gave me it when we met at the burial. Not so much presented it as a fait acompli but more a 'here you go sis, crack on.... 😉'....  Each authority will be making their rules at the moment, so handy for those reading to know to ask the person who calls to inform of the death WHERE the medical certificate will be emailed. I just expected it to me, but it was my brother (we were told as he's older).  Then ask HOW the registrar makes contact.  Ours was very easy over the phone.

Another comment to make which regards your 2nd point above, for others reading CONFIRM EVERYTHING. you don't have face to face, so put it all in writing. I got the FD email and listed everything we wanted, which reverend (we wanted the same who did dad's) and that we only wanted the lords prayer, that my brother would say xyz, I gave the route I wanted to the cemetery so she passed places, I even said which way the hearse was to drive by the house, as we always did it one way....
Then the day before, speak with your FD and walk it through. From meeting the hearse, to who will stand where (distancing), we had 9 people so had an order of who saw coffin close (to stop everyone rushing forward).  
I hope this helps others reading.