Organising a funeral during Covid

wizzywilc

Someone here might find it helpful to look at the newly issued government advice on funerals during Covid 19. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic
Key points are:

• restricting the number of mourners to be as low as possible to ensure a safe distance of at least 2 metres (6 ft) can be maintained between individuals. The size and circumstance of the venue will determine the maximum number that can be accommodated whilst also facilitating social distancing, but numbers should be minimised as far as possible. Venue managers may set caps on numbers in order to ensure this
• alongside the Funeral Director, Chapel Attendant, and funeral staff only the following should attend:
  • members of the person’s household
  • close family members
  • or if the above are unable to attend, close friends
  • attendance of a celebrant of choice, should the bereaved request this

Gers

MoneySeeker1 said:

Fingers crossed a second time on that one - because I've noticed them doing inefficient stuff since then and making this whole process more difficult than it need be....

The funeral directors are not making the whole process difficult - the national emergency and the resultant new laws are making the process difficult for funeral directors. 

cbrown372

MoneySeeker1 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Funeral directors are very rarely at the forefront of technological advances in video conferencing.

I'm sure they did the very best they could. 

Fingers crossed they'll get it better for the next person.

Fingers crossed a second time on that one - because I've noticed them doing inefficient stuff since then and making this whole process more difficult than it need be....

Judging by your comments in this thread you are the one who has made the whole process much more difficult than it need be for the FD. Anyone still planning a funeral should read @74jax thread whose Mum's funeral was yesterday, beautifully done by all.

lovesilver71

My hubby’s dad died on 1 April. He had covid he was 78 with lots of underlying health issues. We live 7 30 hours away. We discussed going. After a lot of heartache we didn’t go. Didn’t know if we had it could spread it or could catch it. No where to stay overnight etc.

We asked our MP for guidance and were told we shouldn’t be going across countys.  So funeral was 30 minutes away from wife on 20 April. Lots of changes on who could attend, firstly it was 10 then sons and wives four sons and four wives and mum, then four sons.

What happened was mum who is 76 got collected by Son number 3 about 3 hours away and taken to funeral. Another son (2) who is vulnerable also went he is on 12 weeks list, he went with his wife they live about an hour away. Another son (1) 4 hours away went and he has a severe chest infection and he went with wife. Three grandchildren who weren’t allowed in just turned up anyway. Social distancing of 2 metres was on  the whole was maintained.  Three grandchildren sat together they don’t live together, the  funeral was live-streamed. Myself and hubby son 4 watched it. 

After the funeral  son (3) went back to mums for lunch. One grandchild spent afternoon with dad (2).

What I’m saying here is social distancing cannot be maintained at the moment during a funeral at all times, One son had to collect mum as no alternative. 

Its  so difficult but we had no written guidance and still feel so bad that we didn’t go. I posted this to help somehow I’m not judging anyone.

OP please accept my condolences and if funeral has been and gone how was it?

Gers

cbrown372 said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

onwards&upwards said:

Funeral directors are very rarely at the forefront of technological advances in video conferencing.

I'm sure they did the very best they could. 

Fingers crossed they'll get it better for the next person.

Fingers crossed a second time on that one - because I've noticed them doing inefficient stuff since then and making this whole process more difficult than it need be....

Judging by your comments in this thread you are the one who has made the whole process much more difficult than it need be for the FD. Anyone still planning a funeral should read @74jax thread whose Mum's funeral was yesterday, beautifully done by all.

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/77081982/#Comment_77081982

Gers, badger09, cbrown372, hb2 - thank you all. 😊

What a day! The sun was magnificent and made for a glorious setting. There was a hiccup in that my brothers car decided to go into 'limp' mode and wouldn't allow him to go over 40mph so he arrived every so slightly late but we just delayed leaving the house by 5mins.

What was lovely was people in street standing on their doorsteps to pay their respects.

It was hard to keep 'in line' with the coffin as cars just pulled out in front of us (no obvious funeral cars I expect...)

My brother used the graveside for his 15 minutes of fame and gave an amazing send off to mam.

It was very strange to be stood separately but not awkward how I thought it might be, very dignified. We were called up one by one to place soil on the coffin, we couldn't line up.

The reverend said the Lords Prayer then quickly left, I didn't even get to speak to him....

We were asked to leave the cemetery shortly after, I think we stood around a little too long....

First thing this morning I emailed the reverend our thanks and the funeral directors. They were amazing with such difficulties. I honestly felt for them throughout all this, doing the job they love in such heartbreaking circumstances each day. My makeshift flowers looked fab, and the video was so well recieved by family last night.

Today...... I have a death certificate! So I'm going to contact the 3 banks to close those down and do gas / electric today.

That's the way to do and think about funerals in these strange days.

badger09

Grief affects us all in different ways. In my experience, it tends to exaggerate characteristics we already display - for example someone like me who likes to research, analyse & organise, finds solace in doing just that. Someone who finds emotions difficult to express, becomes more & more uncommunicative, and someone inclined to anger or aggression, becomes more belligerent. It can be quite difficult to appreciate how someone else reacts to grief if you react in a totally different way. 
Just sayin
(gosh that was a bit deep for a badger )

Pollycat

badger09 said:

Grief affects us all in different ways. In my experience, it tends to exaggerate characteristics we already display - for example someone like me who likes to research, analyse & organise, finds solace in doing just that. Someone who finds emotions difficult to express, becomes more & more uncommunicative, and someone inclined to anger or aggression, becomes more belligerent. It can be quite difficult to appreciate how someone else reacts to grief if you react in a totally different way. 
Just sayin
(gosh that was a bit deep for a badger )

I agree with the bit in bold.

When my Dad died, I went into mega-organisation mode.

I had a spreadsheet of everything that needed to be done with highlights in red and green depending on progress.

It helped me cope.

But I had a sister who I'm very close to and we were singing from the same hymn sheet on absolutely everything, unlike the OP who I believe had issues with her brother over POA and sharing of information.

Gers

Pollycat said:

But I had a sister who I'm very close to and we were singing from the same hymn sheet on absolutely everything, unlike the OP who I believe had issues with her brother over POA and sharing of information.

... and tne new restrictions on funerals and funeral directors.

Pollycat

Gers said:

Pollycat said:

But I had a sister who I'm very close to and we were singing from the same hymn sheet on absolutely everything, unlike the OP who I believe had issues with her brother over POA and sharing of information.

... and tne new restrictions on funerals and funeral directors.

Yes, of course.

It must be a big learning curve for them.

MoneySeeker1

A big learning curve indeed - but a couple of things have been inefficiency, rather than changed way of doing things and a quick catch-up. Whilst I was waiting on the FD doing what he'd said to me he would do (ie forwarding certificate to me re registration of death) my brother was nipping in behind my back Registering the death and then presenting it as fait accompli. There was also the matter of FD had arranged a Minister from a different denomination to my mothers (fortunately - it's another denomination she's okay with - but her own had been available and weren't very happy about being sidelined understandably).