Organising a funeral during Covid

Gers

74jax said:

I have a copy of will already, so I can get letters drafted etc. so I'm ready, just can't follow through at the moment. 

Another PS - my my father died I wrote one template letter with blanks to fill in with account details.  It was just very simple and along the lines of:

Name of company....

Address of company

(your details in there too_

Dear......

Account number......

Name of mother....

Please note that ..... is now deceased.  Date of death is.....

Please forward any account information to....at the above address.  A copy death certifcate will be supplied on demand once available.

regards

.....

I printed off a number of copies and completed the details as required.

If the 'tell us once' service is still running and available it's very useful as it will contact government agencies for you.  Details here - https://www.gov.uk/after-a-death/organisations-you-need-to-contact-and-tell-us-once

MoneySeeker1

Savvy_Sue said:

MoneySeeker1 said:

On the related topic of I've been hassled by others in the family about a Will.

Is there some logical reason I'm overlooking as to why this is irrelevant now (ie with my mother being alive)?

I very much doubted that there would be a set-down funeral plan by my father anyway (though I've requested some time back that my parents make one out and I can just follow it as they want). So I've worked out for myself, as best I can, how I think mother would want it to be and the officiating (retired) minister has been round to see her (primed by me that I want it to be as she would want). So that's not the issue.

Is there some other reason I ought to be thinking about my fathers Will (or lack of....) now and I'm overlooking it? As it's so blindingly obvious - to me! - that everything is 101% mothers now and no question about it - then I cannot see a reason for concerning myself now (or later) about this. I may be overlooking a reason - but it's not clear to me there is one iyswim.

Yes, there is something you're overlooking. The laws of intestacy do not necessarily leave everything to your mother, even if you might wish that to be the case. If the estate is worth more than £270,000, then it does NOT all go to your mother. Take a look here. And work your way through it. Remember that 'the estate' includes half the value of the house. 

You and your brother can of course do a deed of variation to give it all to your mother, but there may be IHT implications when she dies if you do this. 

Thanks.

I'll check that out if it turns out there is no Will (as I'd always expected there to be).

Obviously there is no question in my mind that, if there had to be a formal procedure (ie "deed of variation") to ensure mother gets everything then that is clearly what would happen - at least as far as I am concerned. I would hope my brother wouldnt want to argue with me on that fact that, of course, mother retains everything that is theirs and I don't land up with the unedifying spectacle of him trying to throw our own mother out of her house. Obviously, I worry about that - because he is a rather "grabby" person and I'm not fully convinced he has our mothers best interests at heart (as father would wish).

If there are IHT implications - then there just are. I presume that something like IHT would only be likely to apply to a generous level "estate" and clearly their house shouldn't count as high enough level to match that I would have thought - it's only a pretty standard ordinary 3 bedroom house and quite a bit will have come out of their savings by now paying for carers for them for some months and the fact that my father spent the last few weeks in a nursing home (so both those things will take quite a whack of their savings and the carers are still coming in regularly for my mother and money will still therefore be coming out for that for rest of her life). So, basically, the Government is working its way through spending their savings and then taking the house "brick by brick" anyway with all that - so I think there might (possibly) have been enough to just about warrant IHT before the Government started doing this - but I would doubt it now.

Gers

MoneySeeker1 said:

Thanks.

I'll check that out if it turns out there is no Will (as I'd always expected there to be).

Obviously there is no question in my mind that, if there had to be a formal procedure (ie "deed of variation") to ensure mother gets everything then that is clearly what would happen - at least as far as I am concerned. I would hope my brother wouldnt want to argue with me on that fact that, of course, mother retains everything that is theirs and I don't land up with the unedifying spectacle of him trying to throw our own mother out of her house. Obviously, I worry about that - because he is a rather "grabby" person and I'm not fully convinced he has our mothers best interests at heart (as father would wish).

If there are IHT implications - then there just are. I presume that something like IHT would only be likely to apply to a generous level "estate" and clearly their house shouldn't count as high enough level to match that I would have thought - it's only a pretty standard ordinary 3 bedroom house and quite a bit will have come out of their savings by now paying for carers for them for some months and the fact that my father spent the last few weeks in a nursing home (so both those things will take quite a whack of their savings and the carers are still coming in regularly for my mother and money will still therefore be coming out for that for rest of her life). So, basically, the Government is working its way through spending their savings and then taking the house "brick by brick" anyway with all that - so I think there might (possibly) have been enough to just about warrant IHT before the Government started doing this - but I would doubt it now.

You still don't get it!  You have no control of what happens to your father's estate if a legally executed will is in place. Any deed of variation needs the consent of all beneficiaries not just one.

If your father had your mother's best wishes at heart he'd have already left her everything in a will, including the house.

Where does this come from:

 I don't land up with the unedifying spectacle of him trying to throw our own mother out of her house.

Sounds as if your father may not have made provision for his wife! Best interests??

And this statement is so wrong in so many ways:

So, basically, the Government is working its way through spending their savings and then taking the house "brick by brick" anyway with all that - so I think there might (possibly) have been enough to just about warrant IHT before the Government started doing this - but I would doubt it now.

The implication that your mother is being fleeced is delusional and nonsense.  If your father's estate is not liable for IHT then that sounds better for all beneficiaries

If anyone is coming over as 'grabby' it's you.  Oh, and rather off-kilter too if you really think that the rules don't apply to you.

And you haven't yet answered my question about your other banned names here.

Gers said:

Are you not moneyistooshorttomention AKA ceridwen? AKA a load of previously banned names?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70240826#Comment_70240826

onwards&upwards

Gers said:

Hang on....

Didn't you say (ages ago) that you were 'legally-minded'?  Does that mean 'legally trained' or 'read a bit on the internet' or what?

Surely if you are 'legally minded' then you know that you're being irrational and unnecessary?  Or are you just being your usual provocative self?

Gers said:

Are you not moneyistooshorttomention AKA ceridwen? AKA a load of previously banned names?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70240826#Comment_70240826

I suspect it means ‘likes to threaten legal action when doesn’t get own way’.

You have to feel for the poor brother, they must be going through an absolute nightmare. ☹️

Gers

onwards&upwards said:

Gers said:

Hang on....

Didn't you say (ages ago) that you were 'legally-minded'?  Does that mean 'legally trained' or 'read a bit on the internet' or what?

Surely if you are 'legally minded' then you know that you're being irrational and unnecessary?  Or are you just being your usual provocative self?

Gers said:

Are you not moneyistooshorttomention AKA ceridwen? AKA a load of previously banned names?

https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/comment/70240826#Comment_70240826

I suspect it means ‘likes to threaten legal action when doesn’t get own way’.

You have to feel for the poor brother, they must be going through an absolute nightmare. ☹️

As evidenced in earlier posts in this thread, and not just threats about legal action either. 

MoneySeeker1

Gers - one simple request. Please stop all this nasty vitriol.

It is not helpful to either myself or anyone else in this position and is not contributing to the thread.

Thank you.

-taff

Well, neither are your musings about wills, your family, the funeral, going ballistic etc.

Jags26

MoneySeeker1 said:

Gers - one simple request. Please stop all this nasty vitriol.

It is not helpful to either myself or anyone else in this position and is not contributing to the thread.

Thank you.

Don't think it was Gers being nasty!

lisyloo

“maybe lisyloo could say where the information that funerals would be changed to zero mourners had come from as there is a lot of misinformation going around as well as a lot of interpretation/misinterpretation of guidelines”

the information came by phone (to 2 different people so defo not misheard) from our funeral director who are a well respected long standing firm. I don’t believe a funeral director would just have passed on a mere rumour but crematorium web page still says 10 at the current time.
it related to BANES and not all funeral or government guidelines.
i am keeping a close eye on it. Personally I think a funeral with six people and some sat on their own is very sad so I personally don’t want that.

MoneySeeker1

lisyloo said:

“maybe lisyloo could say where the information that funerals would be changed to zero mourners had come from as there is a lot of misinformation going around as well as a lot of interpretation/misinterpretation of guidelines”

the information came by phone (to 2 different people so defo not misheard) from our funeral director who are a well respected long standing firm. I don’t believe a funeral director would just have passed on a mere rumour but crematorium web page still says 10 at the current time.
it related to BANES and not all funeral or government guidelines.
i am keeping a close eye on it. Personally I think a funeral with six people and some sat on their own is very sad so I personally don’t want that.

There is one HELL of a lot of misinformation going on.

I've lost count of just how many times someone has "authoritatively" said it's "One HOUR of exercise daily" allowed - when it is not. It is "One FORM of exercise" and I've read the words of someone "official" that really really should have known better stating in writing that it's "One HOUR" - duly put right by me pointing out the exact words the Government used.

I'm gobsmacked at just how many do not listen to the exact words and misinterpret - in quite a variety of contexts. It is astonishing just how many can/do mishear and sometimes it's not very clear why they've done so.

So a "well respected long-standing firm" or no and they could get it wrong - because they have misheard - because they did not listen/hear properly and just skated through what was said - rather than listening to the exact precise words. Those who listen carefully/read carefully and try and be precise as to what is meant are actually in the minority - depressing as that thought is.