Talk me down please 2

mellymoo74

I have been in Brum for 25 years 
I may stay here as I have got lots of friends in the area. 
One thing I'm learning is I don't have to make my mind up now li have plenty of time to decide. 
Manchester again this weekend yay

pollyanna_26

Have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say something nice. Don't say anything at all" Natalie?

I notice you have 4 posts. No idea if you're a newbie or former member . However have you followed Melly over the many years of her threads . Most of us have. It's very wrong to say what you have. I know it's an open forum. But to post what you have to someone who's suffered years of abuse and isolation is nasty. I don't think you know the history but I do wonder why you felt the need to say what you have.

It takes a lot of guts and strength to finally get out of a toxic situation . I know that from personal experience and am wishing Mel a good life from now on. She's taken more than enough real life abuse and doesn't need anymore.

polly

mellymoo74

Pol I really shouldn't have risen to it I am better than that.
I think it's was the inference I'm out partying when I went out for a curry, freaked a bit cos I was out and eating but dealt with it because I need to get used to people again.

solicitor call tomorrow hopefully be able to get divorce pushed through due to coercive control and domestic abuse. 
Again I have been ashamed to.admit that, and my friends are only just learning how bad it has been and was but I need remember I have nothing to be ashamed of

mellymoo74

I also finally blocked his family in social media 
That hurt

pollyanna_26

Don't worry Mel I rose to the bait on OS a while ago when I should have moved on. Apart from two posters who took offence at a true and honest post, I got support from many and the thread and in PMS.

I never understand the thinking behind I don't know you but I'm going to have a go at you.

I had a look 4 posts 2 were to Savvy sewing about her grandaughter . No idea what the other was I couldn't be bothered looking. Some people seem to pick out people struggling no idea why.

None of us imagined the extent the toxic one would go to with the pets. You tried every way to get them temporary care and like trying to contact help to leave the pandemic meant everything was overwhelmed and hard to get any help.

I love all animals Mel pets or wild and I'm not blaming you. I remember urging you to get the hell out while you were still alive to do so. I stand by that. I feared one day you wouldn't post and we'd worry for ever if you were still in the world.

You did what you had to and he did the extreme hurtful action. Not your fault but a real insight into how out of control he was by then.

Try to sleep Mel. I came downstairs to make a hot chocolate and am heading back to bed.

If I see that poster again I'll block them.

Night ,night Mel tomorrow is another day. Hope it's a good one.

pollyx

warby68

I don't really know your back story - the hows and whys you ended up as you were - but what I did see was such a strong, loving, responsible, resourceful, incredibly hard working woman with poor health but putting pretty much everything and everyone above herself. 
I am so glad you have been able to redirect all that strength and those good qualities finally for self preservation.
There is clearly a horror story here of an unbelievably cruel and self centred man and a very good woman.
Well done lovely lady, those eyes say it all.
We've had a family toast (usually with gin ) during this pandemic and it seems pretty apt for you right now if you don't mind me sharing : 'here's to surviving and future thriving'
One day at a time love - yesterday was a great one for starters , some good steps to separation and a curry. Big stuff, little stuff- everything counts. You'd be welcome up north for sure - Manchester is my big city too.

mellymoo74

Thank you warby68 
I can honestly say that I have no idea how ended up where I was either 
I am glad I'm out though

-taff

NatalieSav said:

If my ex had......etc bla blah blah

Yeah, you focus on the important things, like criticising someone's behaviour rather than saying, oh good, you're out of a physically and mentally abusive realtionship. I mean, really she should be wearing sackcloth and ash for what? six months for each pet? What's the best way to grieve murdered pets? Have you got any further advice?  Actually, she should really go back shouldn't she? Because you know, there's a sliding scale of importance of your pets to you, and you obviously win the 'pets are the most important to me' badge this year.I can't tell you how invaluable your advice and musings have been.

Pollycat

-taff

I'd delete the post you quoted and leave it.

It'll soon be forgotten.

Melly knows she has support.

thorsoak

pollyanna_26 said:

Have you ever heard the saying "If you can't say something nice. Don't say anything at all" Natalie?

I notice you have 4 posts. No idea if you're a newbie or former member . However have you followed Melly over the many years of her threads . Most of us have. It's very wrong to say what you have. I know it's an open forum. But to post what you have to someone who's suffered years of abuse and isolation is nasty. I don't think you know the history but I do wonder why you felt the need to say what you have.

It takes a lot of guts and strength to finally get out of a toxic situation . I know that from personal experience and am wishing Mel a good life from now on. She's taken more than enough real life abuse and doesn't need anymore.

polly

THIS!   I remembered the  name, looked back - and to be honest I feel sorry for someone who can be so negative, so critical and so unfeeling of other peoples' lives.   Have reported her too - for the fourth time, I think!   Miserable, judging bovine female!   (and that's insulting to cows!)