Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

beanielou said:

hb2 said:

beanielou said:

I am so impractical it is not true.
I am uncrafty & I have no imagination.
Oh dear.

So glad it is not just me on here!

We can unite 

think we are all pretty United in our own way.
 I am not much of a gardener but I thought it might be something to encourage the children to eat veg etc,
 and it will be better for us to eat veg etc that we have growing in the garden thena trip to the supermarket. 

Savvy_sewing

It may take me some time to dig up the grass where I want my veg to be as I am not very fit at all.
 I have removed about2ft square and then stopped for lunch. Dgs2 asked for bed, so I obliged.
dgs1 doesn't like the food and doesn't want the grapes as they are too small.
as we work through the stuff that I already have.
 I notice Elaine has posted about Oaty bars today. I happened to make chewy bars with cereal and marshmallows.
 I did some work with Dgs1 but cannot get dGD to move. She's sleeping in her shed!! I am now putting my feet up and doing this, and then I plan to read. 

I am enjoying this sun as much as I can.
perhaps I should put my Portuguese lessons back on my agenda while I am not sewing. 

I really am missing being able to sew, but by the time the boys are asleep I am taking myself off to bed to read or write my journal.

thorsoak

Sorry to raise any anxiety levels, Ss - but could DGD be taking anything?   Could DS have dropped anything in her shed? I hope not 

pollyanna_26

Savvy_sewing said:

It may take me some time to dig up the grass where I want my veg to be as I am not very fit at all.
 I have removed about2ft square and then stopped for lunch. Dgs2 asked for bed, so I obliged.
dgs1 doesn't like the food and doesn't want the grapes as they are too small.
as we work through the stuff that I already have.
 I notice Elaine has posted about Oaty bars today. I happened to make chewy bars with cereal and marshmallows.
 I did some work with Dgs1 but cannot get dGD to move. She's sleeping in her shed!! I am now putting my feet up and doing this, and then I plan to read. 

I am enjoying this sun as much as I can.
perhaps I should put my Portuguese lessons back on my agenda while I am not sewing. 

I really am missing being able to sew, but by the time the boys are asleep I am taking myself off to bed to read or write my journal.

Don't try overdoing things in the garden. It isn't a marathon and you need to pace yourself. You can start off seeds if your using them in other ways before finally planting out. Any bought young plants can go in any pots you may have if you've got some compost. I've put young plants in temporary homes while sorting where they will finally be planted. Anything that will hold compost will do as long as you make some holes for drainage. I used to grow potatoes in those big blue Ikea bags with some holes to let the water drain. Apart from little new potatoes I no longer grow potaroes. They take up a lot of space and need earthing up. I'm lucky the farms here grow lovely potatoes and other root crops. I tend to grow the things we use a lot which are cheaper and better home grown. Garlic, Leaf Spinach, Spring Cabbage , Ginger , Herbs, Spring Onions, Soft fruit, Tomatoes etc. I only grow the little cherry tomatoes now. All the pinching out of shoots and training up of the other type is more time consuming than plants in a large pot. I tend to grow the Tumbler and similar varieties. Usually three or four plants in a large pot. They only need watering and feeding. Lettuce etc are quick and easy.

I think it's an excellent idea to go back to the Portuguese lessons. You've had a roller coaster few years and deserve some you time.

Sadlly I think Dgd needs straight talk now. She's drifting along doing as she pleases and not helping herself in terms of the future. She's watched her uncle doing the same thing and getting away with it. The dgs will be learning not only from the behaviour of their mum and dad but also dgd. I remember saying a few years ago that someone needs to break the chain of this behaviour.

Reallly you are the only fully functioning adult and have the care and responsability for the three GC.

You need to get tough. If gs1 doesn;t like the food he'll have to wait until the next meal rather than be given something instead. I don't know if there is a lock on DGDs shed but she needs to stop sleeping in there and get on with school work or whatever else needs doing. Lock the shed and take away the key. I know the drums lessen her stress levels but she's raising yours by not cooperating. Same with the XBox if she's still spending time on that.Take it away if she wont cooperate. Ask her what spending years on his has done for her uncle.. It wont be easy but the older she and the little ones get the harder it will be to try to instill the life skills they'll need in the future . At the moment all three are following bad role models not you who's doing your utmost for them. Dgd might be growing up but she isn't sounding as though she's maturing regarding taking responsabiliy for her own actions or respecting you who is trying to help her.. Things will implode sooner or later and it will be easier to tackle things in a consistant manner now than when all three are older.

I;m not having a go at you . Lord knows you've had a tough few years but for your sake as well as theirs toughen up now and give all four of you the chance of a calmer life with time to enjoy the sun. School will still be there when things normalise and it would be better if Dgd was more cooperative by then.

pollyx

hb2

Polly is right - as usual - in that establishing rules and routines now will be hard, but it will get harder to do the more water goes under that particular bridge. Time and energy spent on it now will pay dividends eventually.

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

Sorry to raise any anxiety levels, Ss - but could DGD be taking anything?   Could DS have dropped anything in her shed? I hope not 

No, he didn't use her shed, and he hasn't touched anything since last July. 

She's just on her phone or FaceTime with her friends or sleeping. 

I am just waiting for the boys to settle and go to sleep. Then I will try and cosy up in my room.
loving how comfortable my new bed is, and how easy to sit up and be comfortable with it's padded headboard.

 I have caught the sun on my face these last few days, I have had to actually use sun cream. 

Savvy_Sue

You're taking her phone and other devices off her when she goes to the shed to sleep, aren't you? 

Savvy_sewing

She has left her other devices in the house, but I hadn't taken the phone off her, however she's now run out of data so that might shift her.
 I am just not getting through to her!
of course all this will delay the counselling I suppose.
school have just called me to see how I am doing and to tell me that next week I am able to get the lunches for Dgs1 in a boxin Monday for the week. 

thorsoak

I'm sorry - I just would not allow an 11 year old to sleep outside, on her own, in a shed.   

pollyanna_26

thorsoak said:

I'm sorry - I just would not allow an 11 year old to sleep outside, on her own, in a shed.   

This worried me too. I wouldn't try it myself and I'm an adult. Nowadays things are much less safe than in the past and there are some strange people around. This is a very quiet area and was always low crime but there has been an increase in burglaries, garage and shed breakins in the last couple of years. The thought of anyone discovering a child sleeping alone during the night gives me the shudders.. I know you say dgd is facetiming and chatting to her friends Ss but do you check ? Dd was sucked in by weirdos on the internet safe in her bedroom and I didn't know until everything became clear after the damage was done.

pollyx