Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

WabbitWabbit

I find this all so sad, he has had very little to do with his own children since living with you and now has found an excuse not to be with his own children. I thought that his g/f was worried about him staying with her due to losing her benefits. Mainly the fact that as he was not considered able to care for his own children how could he help care for hers which he would be doing if there for more than a couple of days.
You are so good to him as you keep the boys upstairs with you so that he can sleep in even if he has not been working. 
He has kept all his wages for himself not paying anything towards your added expenses due to him living  with you. I know that you had been hoping he would start paying off his debts, I don’t think he has. I am sure he made no effort to apply for any supermarket vacancies when he lost his hours at his evening job.
 Most parents who are absent have to pay towards their child’s living expenses, he pays zero.
Please do not give him any more money, he needs to stand on his own two feet and take ownership for his life.
I hope you take this the right way, I just think it is so unfair and sad. Sad for his own children, unfair for both you and your granddaughter. Your granddaughter went from having one to one attention to sharing you with two little boys. I am sure though she has seen that the  loving stable environment they now have has improved their lives and behaviour.

thorsoak

He can bring the baby monitor back to you and leave it on your doorstep!    You shouldn't have to lose out because he has the monitior.

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

He can bring the baby monitor back to you and leave it on your doorstep!    You shouldn't have to lose out because he has the monitior.

Yes he dropped it off yesterday afternoon.
however this morning I have two little boys who are coughing and runny noses, so my luck for schooling has run out.
 I will not be able to sew during the day, although I have the monitor so if I have any energy left I might be able to sew a bit in the evening.
 I hope so.
plenty use of the garden needed while we have the sun shine.
I am just going to potter today, see how they are, and then after I have had a serious look at my budget etc I will begin the schooling tomorrow.
 I fear we will have plenty time to catch up with it.

I can't help DS financially as I am not earning anything.
although the government are proposing to help the self employed, I don't think I will be getting much as I wasn't in much profit the last 3 years .
 I am so grateful for the SGO funding as that makes me much better off then many others.
got to stop dgs2 has invaded my bedroom.
he can open the gates now. 

vandanfc

Have you noticed that Elaine is back with her blog?  

pollyanna_26

vandanfc said:

Have you noticed that Elaine is back with her blog?  

Have you a link? I've been waiting for Elaine to return. I might finally get those long promised shawls knitted if she hasn't lost previous posts. Thanks for the heads up.

I need to catch up. Things have been busy here. Dd is at her boyfrinends as she's in isolation. Being with the cats is helping her not to get too anxious. He's been working from home for a while and will continue until the present situation is over.

Our local hospital has some confimed tested positive patients now so no one is taking any risks.

Will read back and catch up later. Take care all.

pollyx

vandanfc

pollyanna_26 said:

vandanfc said:

Have you noticed that Elaine is back with her blog?  

Have you a link? I've been waiting for Elaine to return. I might finally get those long promised shawls knitted if she 

As far as I know it is the old blog site. The hosting has been switched, so it isn't live just yet. They are hoping for it to be up in the next day.

pollyanna_26

vandanfc said:

pollyanna_26 said:

vandanfc said:

Have you noticed that Elaine is back with her blog?  

Have you a link? I've been waiting for Elaine to return. I might finally get those long promised shawls knitted if she 

As far as I know it is the old blog site. The hosting has been switched, so it isn't live just yet. They are hoping for it to be up in the next day.

Thanks for the info. I've had a google. Saw her facebook page and she was mentioning the Blog. I'm not signed up to FB or Twitter as it takes me all my time to keep up with MSE and various blogs. Hopefully she'll be back soon. If she's managed to recover previous posts it will help many in the present situation including those now losing income.

Cometh the hour, cometh the woman!

Take care

pollyx

Savvy_sewing

I have spent all day outside.
kids in and out. 

It was a bit stressful as Dgs1 was really hyper. I am going to try harder to deal with him, but it is difficult as his issues are hightenening because of the change in routine.
dgd is digging her heals in and not surfacing. She has been warned that things have to change tomorrow.
my printer has arrived, so no excuse not to do her work.

beanielou

I do not know how you do it.
I really dont.

pollyanna_26

Ss It's probably best if ds is away for a while. I noticed he took the little ones to his gfs. Now her children are unwell it's possible your two little ones picked up the bugs. It wont be what you wanted but will give you a chance to try things without him. Things aren't normal while school is closed but worth trying now. I was watching Joe Wicks doing the morning fitness class he started on You Tube yesterday. He's doing it because of school closures and some adults needing to stay home. All ages from the littlies to adults having a really good time , dancing , jumping about and laughing.if you could persuade dgd to have a try it might help kick start her day. I'm pretty sure if they're feeling a bit better the little ones would love it. It may use up surplus energy and help stop the littlest waking up early.

With dgd hoping you'll home school her it's important to keep emphasing that will only happen if she cooperates now and starts getting out from under the duvet and applying herself to school work. I had to be pretty stern with youngest before withdrawing her from formal education . If she hadn't cooperated she could have ended up in a different school even less supportive than the one that failed her.. She didn't have a problem with the work , just the school. If dgd really tries but struggles there is additional help out there. Nowadays it's usually home schooling groups which can be a great help.

hb2 I love the idea of singing in the woods.

I had a very heavy day yesterday dashing hither and thither to stock up on basics and do some things in town. After the first isolation period things were getting to the point I had a long list of things to do. I've spent most of today phoing and emailing dd . Today is day 10 of her being in isolation and the period this time is at least 12 weeks. She's struggling with the fact that after all the counselling all the overwhelming anxiety and other problems are coming back. She's upset she's feeling agoraphobic again after that was much less of a problem.

It's 11 days since we saw each other but her boyfriend will write silly songs for her and get the guitar and sing them to her. The cats are looking after her so although we miss each other it's her best chance of getting through this. watching NHS staff singing they are here for us we need to stay home for them really brings it home. We owe everything to them over the years and they're trying to fight Corona with a run down service so it's not about our freedom but more doing all we can not to be those peope who put their wants before lives.

Look after yourselves everyone. Chair yoga or tai chi can lift the mood . I'm hoping to have a slow and steady sort out of the garden and house. Will get back to growing my own and planning for when it's safe to bring the trades in.

Don't even try to help your son with money Ss. He needs to learn for himself once and for all. Most supermarkets are desperate for either warehouse or delivery staff now online is giong to be the main option. There is work if he wants it.

pollyx