Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

This tells a lot of our story. Except I know a lot of things that my boys went through 

https://youtu.be/kIGVps5fG4Q

thorsoak

Thank you for sharing, Ss - I hope some of your nay-sayers watch and take this in.   

Savvy_sewing

So do I, because I am now looking at things completely differently 

Savvy_sewing

I am off to bed.
i didn't push the boys to a time slot tonight. I watched and waited until they were yawning. Dgs2 up with twinkle twinkle on my mobile, and Dgs1 up without a fight, took mobile back down with me and expecting a tantrum was surprised not a single murmur!

hb2

Savvy, I am always in awe of the way you are able to re-group and look forward with optimism. I'm glad that you can see your path from here, for now at least.

Cairn

That’s great that there’S potential for a pattern to their lives You and DGD obviously also get some respite. Ideally you can use a calendar to show them what’s happening and prepare in advance, but only if you know that they won’t be let down by changes. 

Their problems seem quite deep seated and likely to require professional help but a haphazard schedule affects the most behaved of children, so some routine may help them a bit. 

24ta

hb2 said:

Savvy, I am always in awe of the way you are able to re-group and look forward with optimism. I'm glad that you can see your path from here, for now at least.

This is so true

-taff

I have wondered, this mrning when I was thinking about it actually, what happens in tne years time? Or fifteen years time? Regarding how old you are and how old they will be. Just wondering because if you're exhausted now [ and there may be light at the end of the tunnel for the children and their problems] whether you'll be physically able to cope with pre teens and teens then.

Artytarty

I agree and have the same concerns , but what more can SS do than she is already doing to try and sort out the issues?

Savvy_sewing

Obviously I expect to get sleep when they are older. I am learning techniques and studying. The post adoption team have finally contacted me and are going to ask ( yet again ), the history. What I think is the issues that we need to tackle and what they think they can support us with. 

This morning Dgs1 had a meltdown at 6 o'clock because he couldn't have the tablet. He picked up stuff and threw it. Ran down stairs and started banging his head on the door. I managed to push my way into the room, so he ran into the bathroom. I left him there for a moment then I worked my way in. Went and sat on the loo seat and started to say calmly that I understood the problem he was having and that it was understandable that he was frustrated but that he was not hurting anyone else but himself. He stopped, and then we had some "toilet" humour and he started laughing and it was over. He went to holiday club without a problem.