Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

WabbitWabbit

I do not understand why SS's son has the two boys when he and his ex partner are the ones that neglected the boys and he was also supposed to have moved out in March and he was deemed to not be a fit parent.
Those two little boys need intensive therapy, two parents who have the energy and time so that they can have the best chance. I do not think that SS is coping now and the thought of when they are teens kind of fills me with dread.  
I have always said that this is so unfair on SS's granddaughter, gone is the one to one time and care and she now is at the bottom of the list.
As SS goes to bed so early her GD is very much left to her own devices and stays up until all hours, unsupervised online, which is a great worry, her life has truly changed and I just wonder who is there for her now.
I do think it is very wrong to discuss on this forum her sexuality she is not even 13 and am sure she is still exploring and needs to have someone who can give her the time she needs. I would hate to think that my mother talked about my sexuality on an open forum when I was 13.

beanielou

Must be great for all of you with your perfect lives to pass such judgement.
None of us know what is round the corner.

Artytarty

Sorry but i dont see it as passing judgement.
i see posters expressing concern for vulnerable children.
nobody is saying SS has not tried her very best under the most  challenging of circumstances.

WabbitWabbit

If anyone says anything that is not in agreement we are shot down and who says I have the perfect life. As I have said before this is an open forum so you are going to have people giving their views, if you do not want that then write a blog.
I would hope that if I was in a similar position I will decide what is better for my grandchildren rather than for me and my feelings of guilt.

essex123456

DGD is 14? and many 14 year olds babysit - just interacting and playing with them whilst SS gets a break to nap or get some jobs done is clearly what i meant, by including her and making her feel valued for her contribution it might help improve her self-esteem and lessen her self-harm.

onwards&upwards

I don’t think she’s that old, and remember she’s had a very rough start in life herself and a lot to deal with.  

Tomato99

I really don’t think this is the place for people to be advising someone to give or not give the kids up to adoptive parents. They are kids. Not parcels. The OP made the decision to take them on and it really should not be up to anyone on here to put pressure on the OP to give them up. 

Red flags everywhere all over this thread. 
Why does a 13 year old need mental help? What for? She’s 13. It’s tough being a teen. Why does she need specialist mental health input. 

Stop letting other people dictate how your life runs. Including people on this thread. I’m honestly surprised the mods allow a thread with this much personal information on it. 

These kids need support and they need stability. 

Ps. There’s nothing to applaud putting poison down to kill rats. That’s awful. You could surely get them dealt with humanely. 

KxMx

DGD was removed from her mother into SS's care, she now has to see her mother living in a family unit with more children. She saw two other cousins removed from her aunt and adopted out of the family. 

She was reminded all over again of her situation when DGS's came to live with them, which also saw her support and stability reduced as SS has needed to split her attention. 

Add a pandemic, normal teenage hormones and coming to terms with sexuality... 

I am bisexual and pretty much always knew so. I didn't need to explore anything but it did take me a while to fully acknowledge and accept. Some do need to explore, others just know, similar to how many straight people never have cause to think otherwise about their sexuality. 

As to the rats every situation is different, with the mice we had I absolutely wanted to trap & release and tried proofing first. Unfortunately the circumstances meant poison was necessary.

candygirl

My Daughter used to go absolutely crazy after orange squash .It's the e numbers in it  

onwards&upwards

candygirl said:

My Daughter used to go absolutely crazy after orange squash .It's the e numbers in it  

Seriously?  

These children’s problems are a lot more deeply rooted than a bit of orange squash!  I wish people would stop suggesting there are easy fixes.