Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

KxMx

I totally agree that Savvy should expect him to help with a few chores, at the very least.
But that is in an ideal world, in the real world he has let down her and the children time and time again. 
There comes a time to say enough is enough, like she did when she asked him to leave, and stop expecting him to be a source of help and support.

I speak from experience, since I lowered my expectations to be more realistic with my sibling I have been much less stressed and upset with our particular situation. They were not going to change and expecting different just made me upset... The change needed to come from me.

Savvy, I hope you slept well and your wake up time wasn't too early  

thorsoak

I think that SS has virtually given up any expectations of help from DS - "blessed is she who expects nothing, she will not be disappointed".   It must be such a disappointment - almost a slap in the face - but it is what it is, and Ss is attempting to make the best of a bad job, and I for one am full of admiration for what she does actually achieve.   

Savvy_sewing

I think I was in bed by 8 last night.
dgs2 woke twice. But soon settled Dgs1 went down after about 20 minutes.  He woke around 6.30 and he went down stairs and found my kindle. Not ideal but he was quiet for 30 minutes. Then Dgs2 woke so I came down stairs.  I realised that I had left all the basics in the van with the others so breakfast was a bag of random maize cracker things that had come in a goody box at some stage. 

I had to pop to the local mr T to grab some bread, eggs, milk, cheese, brioche, cereal, mince, yoghurt and quavers.
 I will be able to get us through the next few days and menu plan again etc.
 The boys are booked into the holiday club on Wednesday and Fridays for the rest of the summer holidays do that will be when I can do the workshop painting and then start on the house.
dgs2 is sleeping at the moment. I have done 2 loads of washing and it's on the line. 3rd lot the towels are in.
the Nintendo DS's arrived while I was away. I need to learn how to work them, get a few more games ordered. The the other tech is going to be removed completely.
dgd is back in her bedroom talking to her friends on line. 

I am going to make a cup of tea and then plan my to do list for the chores. Then if it is a job I cannot physically do it, I will look for external help.
definitely not asking ds to do anything.

beanielou

My DS loved his DS. 

Still remember my mum and I being so
astonished that he knew what to do with it without looking at the instructions! 

Mind you that’s 20 odd years ago now! 

Savvy_sewing

I am tired this morning. 

Over the past month I have been in a battle with the housing association to get the broken pipes from my house to the main sewer fixed. It has brought rats in.
we had the environmental heath officer who put poison Down under the sink where there was evidence. The water authority came to camera the drains to establish where the break is. 

Unfortunately the rats have found their way into the cavities of the house, and have made a hole in the wall where the gas pipe comes out. So I added a rat trap behind the cooker.
coming home it was obvious that they were still alive and unfortunately last night I didn't get much sleep as I could hear one in my bedroom behind the wardrobe/ drawers. I was up and down trying to move furniture and I have dropped more poison in the areas that I heard them.
today I am going to have to get help as the wardrobe is a triple door and no way I can move it.

The housing are refusing to fix the sewer until the rats are killed and the environmental chap said we can't kill all the rats until the sewer is fixed.
 I was scared last night and I have had less than 2 hours sleep. 

It is time to stop sending my emails back and forth and call my MP. 

I sent an email telling housing that if my wards get bitten or sick I May sue them. I also said that I want to be rehoused while they sort this out.
 I doubt that they will do that. But I am not going to be ignored.

 The boys didn't settle very well last night. It was well after 10 before Dgs2 stopped messing about. It would have been a reasonable night as he didn't wake until 6.20. However Dgs1 had nightmares and came in to my room about 4.30. So he climbed in to bed with me. 

I feel that today may not be a productive day as I had planned. I think it is going to be conserve energy day.
except for the calls, letters etc about the rats.
 I just would like something to go well for a change. Is it too much to ask?

Savvy_sewing

I asked DS what his plans for the week were. I got that he was working Monday and Thursday. 

When I asked what times, and when he planned to see his children he didn't get back to me.
that sums it up completely for me.
On the good side last night I managed to get a tesco delivery slot for this evening. So I don't have to take children with me. Although the food order only came to £26 so I stocked up on nappies, shampoo, toothpaste, bleach and antibacterial spray etc. 

I have a menu plan that is quite different, so I do expect some resistance but I am determined that we will have better meals and less processed. I am also trying to reduce the food budget because we spend a ridiculous amount.
 I would like to save up to redecorate the house. Especially once the rats have been anialated. 

kazwookie

SS keep on at the EHO officer, or find a couple of jack russell dogs you can borrow!

Local newspapers / radio / FB love a good local story.  Keep on at the social as well,.

Can all the children go else where until the rats are gone?

thorsoak

Hope you have a better day, Ss -   Your MP should be able to put pressure on the council - as should Social Services, with you having custody of two vulnerable children - but if not, have you thought about threatening to go to the press - or BBC?  I realise that it wouldn't really be what you want to do - but it  might help.

KxMx

How awful. We had mice during lockdown which was bad enough! Getting into the external porch, shed and in the electric supply cupboard.

Took many weeks and quite a lot of money but they are gone now, problem is electrical supply box needs replacing to be 100% impenetrable although the pest controller did make a temporary repair. Council LL is still on emergency repairs only so no prospect of it being done yet.

Our next door neighbour has mice frequently so not possible to determine original access point, although a lot of pest proofing was done our side. 

beanielou

I so feel for you. 

How horrid.