Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

This evening we had total chaos with Dgs1. We had had a good day, and he had had a good day at school, but he didn't want to get changed for bed and started hitting himself in the face, punching himself really hard. I said that I wasn't going to stop him this time if he wanted to hurt himself, so he turned on me. He hit and punched me in the arms and face, 15 times, and I had to restrain him then, as I really couldn't take the hits anymore. DGD heard them in the kitchen and came in as he was hitting me. 

Dgs2 luckily was in bed asleep so he didn't witness it.
 I had wanted to not react but it was impossible. His punches and slaps really really hurt me. I had to stop him.
He is in bed now, thank goodness. 

thorsoak

• {{hugs}}  Please take some photos of your bruises - you need to document all that is going on.   As you say, it is a good thing that DGS2 didn't witness this - it is good that DGD was there and was able to help you, but at the same time it is a bad thing that she too had to see it.    Phone social services asap tomorrow - it is important - for you all - that DGS1 gets the help he so obviously needs - that you all need - at the earliest opportunity. xx

beanielou

So sorry to read this.
I have no words of advice to offer sadly as it is way beyond my experience.

hb2

I'm so sorry Savvy, this must hurt on many levels Yes, please document what happened and photograph your injuries.

*max*

I understand he obviously has issues, but don't let him hit you 15 times before you restrain him! Why would you let yourself get hurt that much by a what, 4 year old if I get it right?? before you stop him? Violence is not ok for anyone, including toddlers. I hope he will get the help he desperately needs asap, but in the meantime you do not have to just take it. Obviously without hurting him, but restraining a 4 year old after he's clearly demonstrated he was not going to stop hitting shouldn't be THAT hard!

Savvy_sewing

He's 5, but he is very strong.
the reason I didn't immediately restrain him was because I was trying not to react, and see if it would stop him in his tracks. But the ferocity was just unbelievable. Don't forget I am working here with one hand that is damaged and has no strength to it at the moment.
 I won't let him do it again, as obviously it didn't stop him in his tracks. I had hoped that if I didn't rise to his behaviour with restraint when he was hitting himself he would stop, but obviously turning on me was rather a surprise when I wasn't trying to restrain him. Usually I get punched and kicked if I am trying to stop him hurting himself. But this was definitely a deliberate attack on me. All over getting ready for bed.
 I have removed both the kindle tablets the children use, and there will be no more tech at all. DGD can have her kindle back, and I will keep mine in my room for me. 

I don't think I will be inclined to get his own tablets screen fixed. 

Right it's another day. I'd say fingers crossed for a better one, but I cannot cross mine! 

orlandomum

Savvy_sewing said:

He's 5, but he is very strong.
the reason I didn't immediately restrain him was because I was trying not to react, and see if it would stop him in his tracks. But the ferocity was just unbelievable. Don't forget I am working here with one hand that is damaged and has no strength to it at the moment.
 I won't let him do it again, as obviously it didn't stop him in his tracks. I had hoped that if I didn't rise to his behaviour with restraint when he was hitting himself he would stop, but obviously turning on me was rather a surprise when I wasn't trying to restrain him. Usually I get punched and kicked if I am trying to stop him hurting himself. But this was definitely a deliberate attack on me. All over getting ready for bed.
 I have removed both the kindle tablets the children use, and there will be no more tech at all. DGD can have her kindle back, and I will keep mine in my room for me. 

I don't think I will be inclined to get his own tablets screen fixed. 

Right it's another day. I'd say fingers crossed for a better one, but I cannot cross mine! 

Savvy have been reading for a long while and feel for you. I hate the term "chemical cosh" but is he on any medication at all? If he really injures you it will put the whole family in  chaos. 
Hope you have a better day

thorsoak

Hope today is a better day - for all of you xxx

hb2

thorsoak said:

Hope today is a better day - for all of you xxx

I'll second that!

Savvy_sewing

Wednesday was an improvement on Tuesday. I did a little sewing. My friend popped around in the evening, with an Avon order and so we had a great natter. 

This morning we had an episode with dgs1 before school but I did manage to turn it around and get him giggling before I tookdgs2 to nursery, and his Dad came to get him so I could go to Physio.
it looks like my initial thoughts about adapting my career is definitely going to have to be the way forward. I am not going to be able to sew for 6-8 hours a day anymore.