Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

I am back at home. Surprisingly it is a lot tidier than I expected. 

Although not perfect it is at least not a complete disaster zone. 

hb2

Savvy_sewing said:

I am back at home. Surprisingly it is a lot tidier than I expected. 

Although not perfect it is at least not a complete disaster zone. 

Hurrah! and welcome home Savvy

Molly41

Sounds like a positive 48 hours - Im pleased you all having a holiday x

beanielou

Glad the house is not a disaster zone.
Hope the boys were pleased to see you 

SingleSue

angie_baby said:

Savvy_sewing said:

The last 24 hours were bad.
Dgs1 trashed the classroom and the other children had to be evacuated from the class. The teacher was hurt. It was not good. At home when he had 2 hours playing with me on his own it was calm, but as soon as I picked up his brother it was soon into world war 3. Because I couldn't play Mummy's and Daddy's with him as I had the evening meal to do etc.
By the time dinner was ready his brother was also playing off his actions and I had to restrain 1 from hitting himself in the head, while kicking me as his frustration mounted. DGD got in the way of his kicking and screaming. He was put in the bedroom to calm down, which he trashed. It was then also dealing with his brother upending the table they sit at and thinking it funny. It took until 9 to get them settled and asleep. This morning it started out before I was awake properly. I managed to nip it in the bud, but we were late for school. Then I had to go to talk to the deputy head and I just broke down in tears. I had a huge wobble. DS didn't come yesterday because he was too tired after his round trip to Cornwall on Monday. When I rang at tea time he was not able to help. So we had a texting arguement about help, routine etc I offloaded to biggest last night that I was exhausted etc and how I need that help social talked about and how DGS is behaving. She messaged DS asking him to come help me today, and he then went on at her. He did finally arrive at 12.30 and before he collected DGS from school we had a rather frustrating conversation that was at times emotionally heated. But it has not totally solved much, hopefully it has opened the chat though!
He decided to build my swing seat and make up the concrete for my gazebo posts, probably to keep out of my way.
At 4.30 I asked him if he could stay to put the boys to bed after Dgs2 was collected and if I could get some sleep. So I can tackle life better again Tomorrow.
so he stayed until just gone 8.
i had a nap rather than a full on sleep as I could hear the various challenges DGS was producing and the difference when Dgs2 was in the mix.  Dgs1 was asleep before 2.
 I got up when he left to heat up something to eat, watched the repair shop and George Clark amazing spaces and have come to bed. 

DGD had a session on the drums this afternoon, and I heard her chatting to friends. She ate earlier when I was asleep. She was watching something about Dolphins just as I came to bed.
 I am hoping that the social referrals start to put together a plan, the school are going to chase up their referrals and have  been really understanding about what I am dealing with. I don't know how DGS was in school today because DS collected him, but they obviously dealt with him as I didn't get called back in.
 I did manage to finish a dress I was salvaging for a customer at long last between 10 and 12. But I didn't get any other sewing done. The lady was delighted with her dress, bought me a huge bunch of flowers and sent me a selfie of her wearing it. A good part of the day which really lifted me. 

Back to sleep now if I can ready to be as fresh as possible tomorrow.
A new day, a fresh start. Help will eventually come, I am shouting loudly. 

Wow, this sounds like a post I made maybe 10/12 years ago. I rarely post on here but I just wanted to say that with the right help I am sure you will get through this. I remember every day just hoping DS would get to at least 10 am before I would have to collect him from school as his childminder started to refuse to collect him early. Fast forward I now have an amazing 18 year old most of the time, he managed secondary school and got his GCSEs and has now passed his first year at college. If someone had told me back then that we would get through it all I would of laughed at them.
It does get better, and I really hope you get all the help and support you need and deserve. 

I'm another it resonated with, middle son was permanently excluded from his primary school at the age of 7, had private tutors, a placement at a PRU for four terms and then re-entered mainstream education for year 6. 

He graduated from university last year.

Savvy_sewing

SingleSue said:

angie_baby said:

Savvy_sewing said:

The last 24 hours were bad.
Dgs1 trashed the classroom and the other children had to be evacuated from the class. The teacher was hurt. It was not good. At home when he had 2 hours playing with me on his own it was calm, but as soon as I picked up his brother it was soon into world war 3. Because I couldn't play Mummy's and Daddy's with him as I had the evening meal to do etc.
By the time dinner was ready his brother was also playing off his actions and I had to restrain 1 from hitting himself in the head, while kicking me as his frustration mounted. DGD got in the way of his kicking and screaming. He was put in the bedroom to calm down, which he trashed. It was then also dealing with his brother upending the table they sit at and thinking it funny. It took until 9 to get them settled and asleep. This morning it started out before I was awake properly. I managed to nip it in the bud, but we were late for school. Then I had to go to talk to the deputy head and I just broke down in tears. I had a huge wobble. DS didn't come yesterday because he was too tired after his round trip to Cornwall on Monday. When I rang at tea time he was not able to help. So we had a texting arguement about help, routine etc I offloaded to biggest last night that I was exhausted etc and how I need that help social talked about and how DGS is behaving. She messaged DS asking him to come help me today, and he then went on at her. He did finally arrive at 12.30 and before he collected DGS from school we had a rather frustrating conversation that was at times emotionally heated. But it has not totally solved much, hopefully it has opened the chat though!
He decided to build my swing seat and make up the concrete for my gazebo posts, probably to keep out of my way.
At 4.30 I asked him if he could stay to put the boys to bed after Dgs2 was collected and if I could get some sleep. So I can tackle life better again Tomorrow.
so he stayed until just gone 8.
i had a nap rather than a full on sleep as I could hear the various challenges DGS was producing and the difference when Dgs2 was in the mix.  Dgs1 was asleep before 2.
 I got up when he left to heat up something to eat, watched the repair shop and George Clark amazing spaces and have come to bed. 

DGD had a session on the drums this afternoon, and I heard her chatting to friends. She ate earlier when I was asleep. She was watching something about Dolphins just as I came to bed.
 I am hoping that the social referrals start to put together a plan, the school are going to chase up their referrals and have  been really understanding about what I am dealing with. I don't know how DGS was in school today because DS collected him, but they obviously dealt with him as I didn't get called back in.
 I did manage to finish a dress I was salvaging for a customer at long last between 10 and 12. But I didn't get any other sewing done. The lady was delighted with her dress, bought me a huge bunch of flowers and sent me a selfie of her wearing it. A good part of the day which really lifted me. 

Back to sleep now if I can ready to be as fresh as possible tomorrow.
A new day, a fresh start. Help will eventually come, I am shouting loudly. 

Wow, this sounds like a post I made maybe 10/12 years ago. I rarely post on here but I just wanted to say that with the right help I am sure you will get through this. I remember every day just hoping DS would get to at least 10 am before I would have to collect him from school as his childminder started to refuse to collect him early. Fast forward I now have an amazing 18 year old most of the time, he managed secondary school and got his GCSEs and has now passed his first year at college. If someone had told me back then that we would get through it all I would of laughed at them.
It does get better, and I really hope you get all the help and support you need and deserve. 

I'm another it resonated with, middle son was permanently excluded from his primary school at the age of 7, had private tutors, a placement at a PRU for four terms and then re-entered mainstream education for year 6. 

He graduated from university last year.

Wow, well done him. 

I am hoping that we get all the help we need. 

Savvy_sewing

I have had a better night once the boys finally went to sleep, but it did take them a while to settle.
dgs2 woke just after 11.30 had a bottle and didn't wake until 7.15 this morning.
dgs1 woke at 7.
so a good morning.
dgs1 is in school, he is in the transition day to year 1.
The deputy head called me to one side and said that he spoke to the social worker who are going to contact me this week. Dgd1 can be in school Tuesday and Friday but they don't have a teaching assistant for him Wednesday and Thursday. So he will be home with me then.  I have Dgs2 and dgd home today.
 I plan to just potter. 

sarahevie1

Savvy, I'm still horrified they can just say 'we don't have a ta for him.' he's entitled to a place!

The government specified reception as one of the year groups to return. On top, and I mean no offence as I know you are vociferously against the term but I believe he hits the 'vulnerable child' status as he's lac. 
I may be way off but I am currently teaching year 6 (another year group which was entitled to return) so I am presently working full time in school and can honestly say I've never heard a child being refused a place due to no ta. 

Savvy_sewing

This week the only children in school are the key workers and transition days, so DGS being in tomorrow and Friday is because he is vulnerable. But the teachers are on courses I believe. I am not too worried as I managed to have a few days off and know that we are going away for a week on Monday.  

We had a reasonable day in school and he did all his tasks and came out smiling. 

We have had a few testing the limits over eating his dinner and arguing over a toy with his brother. We had tears when they banged heads on the trampoline, and he allowed me to give him a cuddle, and we sat on the swing seat in the garden for about 5 minutes until he felt he was better.
it did take 2 hours till he finally came to the table to eat his pasta bake, and then he has had a bowl of cereal too. 

I am keeping them up until 8 o'clock and then going to put them up as getting up at 7 would be a result for me.
fingers crossed x

Savvy_Sue

I don't mean to be a killjoy, but having two children on a trampoline at the same time is the way most trampoline accidents happen ...