Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Savvy_sewing

onwards&upwards said:

Ok, so there is a mental health referral in process?  Good, if the head hitting behaviour is new definitely let them know in case the urgency of the referral can be increased. 

I think I will make a call, as the birth mother recons she has never seen it before this weekend. 

beanielou

I think you should. 

onwards&upwards

Savvy_sewing said:

onwards&upwards said:

Ok, so there is a mental health referral in process?  Good, if the head hitting behaviour is new definitely let them know in case the urgency of the referral can be increased. 

I think I will make a call, as the birth mother recons she has never seen it before this weekend. 

I think that's a good idea, things do seem to be coming to a bit of a crisis point with him. 

ivyleaf

I remember our gentle son becoming very hyperactive and aggressive at the age of about 5 after a glass of orange squash during a day out. It was a complete personality change! Probably the food colouring in it rather than the sugar. I hope it was the colouring which was later banned - I can't recall the name of it.

Best wishes Savvy.

Savvy_sewing

I am weary already. Both of them were over the top this morning and it was full on. I hope they calm down at school/nursery as I had my hands full this morning.
 I need a cup of tea and a sit down before I do anything else! 

carly

ivyleaf said:

I remember our gentle son becoming very hyperactive and aggressive at the age of about 5 after a glass of orange squash during a day out. It was a complete personality change! Probably the food colouring in it rather than the sugar. I hope it was the colouring which was later banned - I can't recall the name of it.

Best wishes Savvy.

Had the same with my toddler in the 1980s, it was E102 food colouring ( tartrazine  iirc).  It was common in many foods from fish fingers to squash to sweets.  Not used much, if at all, any more.  Once that was eliminated from her diet the normal placid toddler returned.

badmemory

Yes 1980s & definitely the food colouring NOT the sugar.

beanielou

Hope you have not had a call from the school.

Savvy_sewing

The last 24 hours were bad.
Dgs1 trashed the classroom and the other children had to be evacuated from the class. The teacher was hurt. It was not good. At home when he had 2 hours playing with me on his own it was calm, but as soon as I picked up his brother it was soon into world war 3. Because I couldn't play Mummy's and Daddy's with him as I had the evening meal to do etc.
By the time dinner was ready his brother was also playing off his actions and I had to restrain 1 from hitting himself in the head, while kicking me as his frustration mounted. DGD got in the way of his kicking and screaming. He was put in the bedroom to calm down, which he trashed. It was then also dealing with his brother upending the table they sit at and thinking it funny. It took until 9 to get them settled and asleep. This morning it started out before I was awake properly. I managed to nip it in the bud, but we were late for school. Then I had to go to talk to the deputy head and I just broke down in tears. I had a huge wobble. DS didn't come yesterday because he was too tired after his round trip to Cornwall on Monday. When I rang at tea time he was not able to help. So we had a texting arguement about help, routine etc I offloaded to biggest last night that I was exhausted etc and how I need that help social talked about and how DGS is behaving. She messaged DS asking him to come help me today, and he then went on at her. He did finally arrive at 12.30 and before he collected DGS from school we had a rather frustrating conversation that was at times emotionally heated. But it has not totally solved much, hopefully it has opened the chat though!
He decided to build my swing seat and make up the concrete for my gazebo posts, probably to keep out of my way.
At 4.30 I asked him if he could stay to put the boys to bed after Dgs2 was collected and if I could get some sleep. So I can tackle life better again Tomorrow.
so he stayed until just gone 8.
i had a nap rather than a full on sleep as I could hear the various challenges DGS was producing and the difference when Dgs2 was in the mix.  Dgs1 was asleep before 2.
 I got up when he left to heat up something to eat, watched the repair shop and George Clark amazing spaces and have come to bed. 

DGD had a session on the drums this afternoon, and I heard her chatting to friends. She ate earlier when I was asleep. She was watching something about Dolphins just as I came to bed.
 I am hoping that the social referrals start to put together a plan, the school are going to chase up their referrals and have  been really understanding about what I am dealing with. I don't know how DGS was in school today because DS collected him, but they obviously dealt with him as I didn't get called back in.
 I did manage to finish a dress I was salvaging for a customer at long last between 10 and 12. But I didn't get any other sewing done. The lady was delighted with her dress, bought me a huge bunch of flowers and sent me a selfie of her wearing it. A good part of the day which really lifted me. 

Back to sleep now if I can ready to be as fresh as possible tomorrow.
A new day, a fresh start. Help will eventually come, I am shouting loudly. 

thorsoak

Although I am "thanking" you, Ss, I wish that there was a sad symbol too.   I really feel for you - I have absolutely no useful suggestions, just an appreciation of how hard it is being a resident granny - and a granny with all the responsibilities of being the parent with no useful support.    Tomorrow is another day - and hopefully might not be so bad - but in your shoes I would be questioning whether the contact with the other family is helping GDS 1 at the moment - but can understand that you haven't got the strength for too much more fighting at the moment.