Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

Artytarty

Beanielou, I take my hat off to you, after the day you've had, to still be able to think of others . Respect.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks Beanie.
thinking of you too. X

No plans to do anything today. I have the boys playing with the train tracks etc
Had a few moments of them hitting each other, etc so I think I am going to have my hands full being a referee today.
dS has left me with my car thankfully so I am planning to go food shopping tomorrow when the boys see their other family.

hb2

Savvy, I'm glad you don't have any sewing planned, I hope you don't have to spend all day being referee!

thorsoak

Glad that DS hasn't used your wheels to take Twin2 back ......will he come back, do you think?  Or might he stay with Twin2?

Savvy_sewing

thorsoak said:

Glad that DS hasn't used your wheels to take Twin2 back ......will he come back, do you think?  Or might he stay with Twin2?

He is taking her on Monday. He is coming back as his gf is going with him to share the driving. So they will be going in her car not mine.
 I am trying to stay as calm and relaxed as possible. The boys are fighting over everything. I hate the way they kick and punch and no matter how many times I separate them they are clashing again within a few minutes.
 I see that our local council is planning on opening the playground on Monday. Lots of hand sanitizer and wipes at the ready as I might actually take them there to run off steam etc.
 I think today is going to be a long one, as it is only coming up to 11 and we have been up since 6.15 and it seems like forever already.

onwards&upwards

I think you need to ask for some help managing the children, parenting classes or something.  Please tell the social workers about their behaviour and how you are struggling to manage it and that you need some support. 

Savvy_sewing

onwards&upwards said:

I think you need to ask for some help managing the children, parenting classes or something.  Please tell the social workers about their behaviour and how you are struggling to manage it and that you need some support. 

I have told them. They were here on Tuesday. That's exactly what I was asking for. 

Also at school yesterday with the meeting with the head teacher.
 I am asking, I am shouting from the roof tops that Dgs 1 is very disturbing and Dgs2 is copying his bad behaviour.
 I am trying all the techniques advised. There is little more I can do until the help is available.
 I just have to keep calm. Keep on refereeing and try to keep my legs out of the way when he is out of control. 

It's not as if I can put him in a straight jacket?!!!!!! 

onwards&upwards

I'm glad you've asked for help, you've taken on too much here really and there are 3 children's futures at stake.  

Hopefully someone will step in and changes will start to happen. 

thorsoak

I find it significant that whilst DS was away, and they were unable to see the other family because of lockdown, that SS had almost got their behaviour into a "normal" pattern ....whatever "normal" is for 2 and 4 year olds!     GDS 1 does have the problem, as SS has been saying for ages and, sadly GD2 copies his big brother - which is natural.   But GDS1 seems to thrive more on the constancy that Ss was managing (at so much cost to herself) to provide.   The problem is that everyone is going to have to sing from the same songsheet - DS, other family, school, to channel GD1 into a calmer frame of mind.   Ss knows this and has been asking for this help for some time.    

Savvy_sewing

The boys are going to see the other family tomorrow afternoon. If Dgs1 is disruptive on Monday, then it will be the last time they will go on a Sunday. If I had my own way, they would not go at all. But that will mean a conversation with the court as they are supposed to be allowed access.
although if I say no, I have the right too if I believe that it is not suitable for the boys, but I am reluctant to as it will cause a scene with them and it has taken a while to have gained their sort of trust.
 I think having the psychology tests in school next term ( hopefully) will help.
 I have lost count of how many issues I have had to deal with today.
 I have potentially another 7 hours of the day to get through.
What fun.
The play dough was ok for about 15 minutes.
But they are bored of that now. Trying to keep them engaged and not reverting to technology is not as simple as I would like.
 I think I need to consider a new note book to record the things that they are eating, drinking, and what sets them off etc. See if I can see a pattern etc. 

Other than is it just random and brotherly rivalry?