Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

LadyHarris

Stay strong SS DO NOT let him back you are already seeing a difference in the boys behaviour which could be undone at a stroke  i wonder if as thorsoak has said they are trying to soften you up it seems a bit over the top this worry you will loose your hand maybe the GF is worried as maybe things aren't exactly rosy and living with someone and seeing someone are two different things . I worry he will be knocking at your door as  being constantly let down will no doubt grind GF down the same way it has for you . Hope the boys have a lay in after their exertions at the stable x

Savvy_sewing

beanielou said:

800 a month on debt. 

That is a lot. 

Far too much when the Christmas Mum and I were in Portugal I was only 6 months from being debt free.

to be fair £12,000 of it is my loan for the cabin, so £216.44  a month is solely my debt. But it is rediculous how quickly I have built up debts. 

But I will hammer away at it and it won't take too long as long as I keep the purse strings ( the credit cards locked up) firmly closed.

Time to get ready for school. Fingers crossed for a better day 

beanielou

If anyone can do it then you can. 

Hope today is indeed a good day for you all. 

hb2

I'm glad that the boys were happy and tired after seeing their other family, it seems to have led to a good sleep for all.

I also find it a bit rich that DS is 'worried about you losing your hand' when he didn't help out while he was with you  Stay strong S_s, you know you can do this. Just eat that elephant one bite at a time.

Savvy_sewing

well I was called in to get Dgs1 again. He only lasted until 10.35 this time. He doesn't get social distancing or the fact that blowing raspberries in his teachers face is not on!! I had to go and get him again. I realise that with Covid19 he cannot be blowing raspberries in peoples faces, but then how do you get him to stop when it tips him into a full blown tantrum where he picks up anything he can and launches it! I will have to ask the school to see if he can have further assessments and if in deed he needs to go to a specialist school instead of main stream school. 

So I didn't get as much work done as I would like. Dad was apparently in too much pain to come and help, again. 

Dgd did start to tidy her room and there is now another mountain of clothes to wash on top of all the bedding from the airing cupboard in her room where the mice have been. I need to get mouse traps etc and probably call the environmental people as I am also seeing a rat run across the back garden, they are coming up in a hole next to the sewage drain in the garden, a hole I nearly fell in to as it was on the edge of the plastic path I have down. If I hadn't the path I would have probably gone in and twisted my ankle. So it looks like I will be doing more than just decluttering!
all I need at the moment. 

beanielou

Sorry to read that. 

thorsoak

Teach DGD how to sort her laundry, which programme to use, and give her the responsbility for cleaning her own clothes.   I did this with my 4 when they got to 12 ....as a "privilege" -"you're growing up now, and its important to look after your clothes - especially those you really like so ....you can use the washing machine on a certain day"....Actually, workingfull time (9-5.30pm) in London, on what was a lousy 1 hour (at its best) commute each way, then 20 mins drive, I needed to divert as much as possible after DH had his accident - and it did work!   OK - so DD cried when she washed a jumper that should have been handwashed and it shrunk enough to fit a teddy - and DS1 washed his WHITE jeans (remember them?) with his red socks and finished up with pink jeans ......but they soon learned!.   

Make sure that DD isn't taking food into her room - that's an invitation for mice - and call in the Council about rats - could be a break in the sewer pipe:-(

Were I you, I wouldn't even give DS the opportunity to say no to picking up the children - I wouldn't ask him.

hb2

Savvy, I'm so sorry that GS had another meltdown at school. I understand that things are very difficult for them at the moment, but it does worry me that the 'professionals' can't seem to manage his behaviour. It's particularly hard when they are so young and you  have to do the distraction/diversion techniques, rather than him learning them for himself  

LadyHarris

hb2 said:

Savvy, I'm so sorry that GS had another meltdown at school. I understand that things are very difficult for them at the moment, but it does worry me that the 'professionals' can't seem to manage his behaviour. It's particularly hard when they are so young and you  have to do the distraction/diversion techniques, rather than him learning them for himself  

Why does this worry you they are teachers not autism special needs  which is what SS thinks the child has it is a very different kettle of fish to have a small child with autism and an unruly child believe me i know having a child with autism and one without the teacher has herself and others to think of and their safety if he is throwing things about .A diagnosis for autism is not done till they are over 3 and i believe that in present climates that there will probably be a wait  to see a consultant at that point the child can be statemented and special provision made at the moment teachers and staff are doing the best they can  I will add just because a child has autism they can be just naughty at times 

Savvy_sewing

LadyHarris said:

hb2 said:

Savvy, I'm so sorry that GS had another meltdown at school. I understand that things are very difficult for them at the moment, but it does worry me that the 'professionals' can't seem to manage his behaviour. It's particularly hard when they are so young and you  have to do the distraction/diversion techniques, rather than him learning them for himself  

Why does this worry you they are teachers not autism special needs  which is what SS thinks the child has it is a very different kettle of fish to have a small child with autism and an unruly child believe me i know having a child with autism and one without the teacher has herself and others to think of and their safety if he is throwing things about .A diagnosis for autism is not done till they are over 3 and i believe that in present climates that there will probably be a wait  to see a consultant at that point the child can be statemented and special provision made at the moment teachers and staff are doing the best they can  I will add just because a child has autism they can be just naughty at times 

As a mother of two with autism, ( diagnosed), I flagged up my Concern when dgs was in foster care etc.
he has a 1-1 teacher, he has a school
 educational plan. He has all the symptoms of Autism and adhd. I studied ADHD, dyslexia and Autism 30 plus years ago.
 I can say with some knowledge that I believe it is not just because he is naughty. However he needs to live in society and needs to be still made to acknowledge that bad behaviour can't be tolerated or a "label" an excuse for his behaviour. It is up to us adults to show him the way as best we can.