Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

hb2

Savvy, I hope you can gain some clarity and send the black dog on its way!

beanielou

I really feel for you.
I do think you need to cut down a lot on the sewing for a while to avoid any long term damage.
Keep plodding

Savvy_sewing

I have a head full of conversations and opinions, of the best way forward etc.
obviously it doesn't help that I am pulled in all directions but I am talking to the right people and hopefully we will make some progress.
The amount of work is a actually a lot lot less than I had when I had the shop.
 I would say I am only doing around 40% of what I used to do.
But I am looking at reducing even further.
 I have only a few jobs in the pipeline compared to last week, or the last 6 weeks or so.
Because I had so many phone calls to deal with all I did was make a pair of boys shorts. 

I have a few items for Molly, and a mask and headband for a nurse and one dress that needs sorting out that a different dressmaker messed up. I have been waiting for the replacement lining to arrive for that one.
 I don't have anything else in the pipeline at the moment.
once these items are done I will not take on any more than 16 hours worth of work a week, but I am probably going to stop sewing ( unless for pleasure), on Fridays and right through till Tuesday.
This will give me time to actually get some sessions with dgD, and see how much I can help her to deal with things.
I have just heard that at the moment the Holiday Clubs that I usually have the children attend are currently cancelled and that Dgs1 finishes school on 10th July, so I am looking at taking off the summer holidays if I possibly can. I a will need to be with the kids and can't see my being able to work under those circumstances.
So I am expecting 2 months off. 

My finances will be tight but as my tax credits are based on annual accounts I should manage. 

This will give me time to do things around the house and garden and with the children. 

Something that I desperately need, to do.

thorsoak

Remember, when you had the shop, you also had some sort of paid assistance who took on some of the sewing, and you did not have full responsibility for two little boys!   Be kind to yourself, do the physio exercises - I know that they will be small little movements which don't take much effort, but they will help long term. xxxxx

beanielou

Great idea to have the summer off.
I really hope that you do.

Savvy_sewing

I have spoken with the lady who used to work with me, and will be diverting work her way. 

I have spoken with Biggest about stopping alterations etc and that if I do any sewing it will be for fun/ therapeutic sewing until September so I can not necessarily give her her hours through the summer unless we work on another project. She is going to have to concentrate on her Avon side of things.
 I feel calmer already having made those decisions.
 I think I will look into a personal tutor for Dgd, and see what that will entail as we wait for the referrals to be accepted and the counselling to start. 

We had a bit of a struggle with things last night and I held her tight and told her how much I love her and of my plans to cut out the work load so I can help her and be a "mum" for the summer.
While I have some peace this morning I am going for a soak in the bath. Before I potter outside and start on those few things left. Or at least take stock of what it needs to be done, and then plot out the time in my planner for Tues Wed and Thurs.
 I am starting to feel the effects of having my meds back now, and the black dog is more of a grey one at the moment.
Always feel better if I have a plan or a goal.

beanielou

So so glad that you have a plan. 😊🌈

thorsoak

That is positive planning Ss.   I'm so glad that Dgd opened up to you - when I think about it, I can see that her visit down to her birth mother was the catalyst (I'm using the term "birth mother deliberately - due to the circumstances, you have been more of a mother to her than twin 1 could ever have been at the time).   She probably saw her being "more of a mum" than you have been able to have been in the last year because of the circumstances now in your home - and with puberty kicking in and everything, it probably increased the "poor little me" feelings of Dgd.   But at least she has been able to vocalise it now and it gives you all a chance to improve the situation.     Thinking of you all xxxxx

KxMx

I don't like to assume but I've always been concerned that DGD has had a blatant reminder of her own difficult circumstances and how she came to be in SS's care after seeing it all again with the arrival of the boys.
And of course she's gone from being settled with SS & the security of knowing she comes first to having to share her with the boys and the previous household tension caused by DS. 

As thorosoak says too at such a difficult age too. 

Redlady.....

KxMx said:

I don't like to assume but I've always been concerned that DGD has had a blatant reminder of her own difficult circumstances and how she came to be in SS's care after seeing it all again with the arrival of the boys.
And of course she's gone from being settled with SS & the security of knowing she comes first to having to share her with the boys and the previous household tension caused by DS. 

As thorosoak says too at such a difficult age too. 

As far as I remember SS discussed it all with dgd before any decicions were made and she begged her to take on the boys. I accept that she was too young to realise the long term implications, but she was certainly consulted.  SS has done what most grandmothers would do, it's very hard to turn your back on your own.  I sincerely hope it all works out well SS and well done for what you've already done.