Embracing the new family dynamics and looking forward to the future with optimism

essex123456

your not the villain M, you're the grown up, the one doing your very best to provide a stable home life despite their parents and this to shall pass.

just_trying

sarahevie1 said:

There are rules in place for 'separated' families I see this visit as within those rules. Children from separated families are allowed to see the other parent and have been from the start. I've had my children's father living with us since the beginning of lockdown to facilitate my teaching, visits to our daughters and support his mental health after he was orphaned earlier in the year, so I have no personal experience of breaking lockdown to visit 'the other family' but I do think it is different for families whose parents live separately and policy has supported this. 

sarahevie1 said:

There are rules in place for 'separated' families I see this visit as within those rules. Children from separated families are allowed to see the other parent and have been from the start. I've had my children's father living with us since the beginning of lockdown to facilitate my teaching, visits to our daughters and support his mental health after he was orphaned earlier in the year, so I have no personal experience of breaking lockdown to visit 'the other family' but I do think it is different for families whose parents live separately and policy has supported this. 

Well your wrong, the rules were visits between parents and it's the other granny who has been involved.  I wish you well savvy but you do need help. You took my last comments far to far so didn't comment. 

You need to sort your finances and sell the camper if you are not going to use it soon,  your debt repayments are eye watering! How you afford them I don't know! 

elisamoose

As far as I am aware this does not include grandparents - I have not seen my grandchildren when they visit my son.it is not allowed. we can’t just choose to vary the rules because it suits. As I said , this puts the school staff at risk not just SS and her granddaughter.  School staff do not have the choice to work but should be able to trust that pupils and families are sticking to the rules. And of course those families should have confidence that the staff are also social distancing in their lives too.

Savvy_sewing

The reason it is with Granny and Mum is because the court order is that Mum cannot have them on her own, but she is entitled to see her children once a week with her mother's supervision.
 I am sorry that you think I am breaking the rules, but I had Social services advise at the beginning. We waited 2 months while the other granny isolated her self at the caravan in her yard after returning from Vietnam.
 I am under the impression that the boys will be in the horse box with granny and the other family will be in the caravan.
Obviously I am not there but I have to take them on trust that they will not be putting them in any harms way.

Re the Campervan, I have no plans to sell it at the moment. But it is not eating anything. 

Yes the debts have risen quite considerably, and I am aware of that. I am also dealing with the repayments with out any detrimental effects to the household and I am saving every week for each of the children and have done so since I received funding in October.
Obviously taking time out from working will have an impact but overall I am confident that I will be able to keep up paying it down faster than the minimum payments.
also I will not be paying Biggest's if we are not working. 

I think I have it all covered, and I will review regularly.
 I may promote my makes etc that I have already, sell them off, and the ribbons, threads etc I have in stock. I also have several new sewing machines that can also be sold. But I am in no Hurry, as the sale of them would only be a tick over bonus. 

The rain is with us today, so the garden is out of the equation at the moment.
So train tracks and car garages will be today's play.
possibly a Disney movie later if we need some diversions. 

elisamoose

Sorry
Obviously I thought you were breaking the rules as you did not explain you had official advice. I know you don’t want to put absolutely every detail on here but sometimes you open your self to criticism by not giving the whole picture. 

berrybug

elisamoose said:

As far as I am aware this does not include grandparents - I have not seen my grandchildren when they visit my son.it is not allowed. we can’t just choose to vary the rules because it suits. As I said , this puts the school staff at risk not just SS and her granddaughter.  School staff do not have the choice to work but should be able to trust that pupils and families are sticking to the rules. And of course those families should have confidence that the staff are also social distancing in their lives too.

What about me I have a grandchild here on the odd weekend NOT to break the rules but on a needs must basis .Both parents front line workers sometimes weekend shifts clash and although children can attend school on week days sadly no provision for care at weekends that’s when grandparents have to step in or emergency services may be short staffed if we wouldn’t/couldn’t do child care , am I wrong doing this ? NO 

thorsoak

Some people are far too judgemental - how each and any one of us deals with our finances is down to each and every one of us.   How dare you tell Ss to "need to sort your finances and sell the camper if you are not going to use it soon,  your debt repayments are eye watering! How you afford them I don't know! "  - has Ss asked for advice on her finances?  No!

Savvy_sewing

I agree how I spend our money is down to me.
 I have my loan for the cabin, and DSs loan for the HGV which unfortunately is on hold as the test centre keep cancelling his theory tests. But it should be possible after Covid19 is under control and he will be able to continue down that Avenue.
Both will be finished in just less than 4 years. The other card debts are being paid down, and are on 0% balance transfers so also not incurring any further interest. I will be clear of them in 3 years. Maybe sooner, depending on how much profit I have in my business when I balance the books every year.
 I have emergency funds still covering a months payments, and the children all have savings pots. 

I think that I am going to be fine. 

As I use this thread like a diary, it is about my daily ups and downs and what I deal with, not a debt diary but I do do my SOA regularily and watch the numbers all of the time.
There is a very large holiday in that debt at the moment. As in the new year we booked a once in a lifetime experience at Disney in the summer for 11 of us.
 I had planned to pay it off before the holiday but did divert the money to the van instead, but it was calculated.
 I am still on track to be debt free in 2023 and to have our plans of the Summer 2025 in Portugal paid for before we go.
 I have a 5 year plan.

NeilCr

thorsoak said:

Some people are far too judgemental - how each and any one of us deals with our finances is down to each and every one of us.   How dare you tell Ss to "need to sort your finances and sell the camper if you are not going to use it soon,  your debt repayments are eye watering! How you afford them I don't know! "  - has Ss asked for advice on her finances?  No!

Actually, I think this is quite a difficult one. I fully respect that this is Ss's diary but it is, also, another thread on a forum where people post their own views on pretty much every other thread. They do go off course and some comments are quite strong. And that's being kind! 

Sometimes, too, unsolicited advice has proved very useful to an OP - maybe something they hadn't thought of or coming from a different perspective. SingleSue's superb recent contribution on autism in children,  here, is a good example of this

I've sat on my hands a couple of times in this thread for fear of causing upset  - on reflection, on one of those occasions I wish I had weighed in as I think I might have been able to help 

Savvy_sewing

The rain stopped but it is quite cloudy and windy here. Hoped that the washing I have on the line will dry.
dgs2is having a nap. Dgs1 has been in and out of the garden and on the trampoline. I have had to do a running repair with duck tape!
 I have done a little weeding but my hand is not happy so I have stopped.
DS is not around even though it is Father's Day, and so it's just a quiet Sunday here.
dgd has surfaced and joined us in the sitting room about 11.30. Shes concocting something in the kitchen at the moment. Could be interesting.