Wedding etiquette- thanks for coming!

MrsTinks

Have you seen the post with pictures of the one I have ordered? It's a Maggie sottero and it's a DREAM! *sighs contentedly* (and desperately hopes to shed a lb or 14 before may :eek:)
Oh bother I'm going off topic again! Drat! I get so easily distracted by wedding dresses LOL

jem1276

I find it very very rude when people don't send thank you cards!

I sent one to every guest whether they gave us a present of not!

And wrote a personalised message in each and sent copies of photos to many people

Jem x

Chick

Not checked on this thread for absolutely ages!

Well, I'm glad it's not just me that feels this way that a couple should at least thank people for coming to their wedding/the present they received- whether this takes the format of card/email/letter/phonecall/carrier pigeon etc. It's the sentiment of saying thank you for coming to their big day, acknowledging everyone who has been a part of it.

As for my mate, have still heard nothing from him & his wife...still, i will look back at their wedding as a great weekend away with my OH and a chance to have a great time with my old school friends, even though it did cost nearly the same as a package holiday to Spain or somewhere similar!
It might even make me think twice about attending other certain weddings in the future...

sare_2

Don't know if the OP ever got a thank you, but some etiquette guides say it's acceptable for thank you letters to be sent any time up to 1 year after the wedding.
I think anytime after 3 months is rude though.

moonpixiewitch

My Husband and I got married on a very tight budget £2000 for everything all the clothes , registrars , celebrants (we had two weddings - one in the registry office and one in the field where we had the reception), food , favours and honeymoon. We had 100 guests at our wedding , we felt it was rude to ask for money so we did a wedding list with John Lewis (highly recommended) for those that insisted on present buying ,only one of the presents on that list was over £30 and most were under £20 some were £5 because we knew some of our guests could not afford much , we did stress present buying was not necessary. We printed all the invitations , orders of service , reply cards and thankyou cards ourselves , we made all the favours ourselves (which also contained a special poem of thanks) and our families helped with providing venue , catering (we bought the food they cooked and served it) , making a tower of 100 fairy cakes as a wedding cake . Family members who had played a major part or helped out with our big day all received "pamper" hampers while we were away , that we had made up ourselves with them in mind .We sent the thankyou cards out 6 weeks after returning from honeymoon . Some of our guests travelled 200 miles to come to our wedding , and the least they deserve is a thankyou card.
Why would you invite someone to share in the most precious day in your life and then not say "thankyou for coming and sharing our special day"? As for some of the people who have experienced rude guests , I just can't believe the cheek of some people! The worst we had to contend with was one guest being a little liberal when we said "please do take some food home" (we had over catered some what) and he took half a truckle of cheese! But even that guest received a thankyou card because at least it has given us a talking point for years to come!
:rotfl:

Chick

Never did get any sort of thanks for coming or for wedding present, also neither of us has been in touch with the other since the wedding so I guess that's the way things go...will choose my weddings more wisely in future!

Mrs_P_Pincher

Harking back to thank yous, I know it's a bit anally retentive, but we (I) had a spreadsheet. I listed all the guests, names and addresses, so I could do the address labels for the invitations, a column for noting who had accepted and who had declined, so we could do the numbers, and a column for presents received. We opened the bulk of the presents the day after the wedding and filled in the spreadsheet as we went along. Hwoever, this is not foolproof. We never did find out who gave us the angel and we left someone else's present in the taxi coming back from the reception, so I just put ''thoughful gift' or something like that on the spreadsheet.

As soon as we came back from honeymoon I did a mail merge and everyone who had given us a present got a personalised letter, signed by us both, within ten days of the wedding.

As I say, it is a bit nerdy, but it worked, my conscience was clear and the wedding list has now become the Christmas card list.

Sometimes I frighten myself!

Mrs P P (a stickler for ettiquette)

[Deleted User]

I love spreadsheets. I've just started getting presents for my wedding 5 weeks away (from my online gift list) and it automatically outputs a page of 'who gave what'. Really useful for keeping track of things.

I really must start my thank you cards soons

tinkerbell84

Mrs_P_Pincher wrote: »

Harking back to thank yous, I know it's a bit anally retentive, but we (I) had a spreadsheet. I listed all the guests, names and addresses, so I could do the address labels for the invitations, a column for noting who had accepted and who had declined, so we could do the numbers, and a column for presents received. We opened the bulk of the presents the day after the wedding and filled in the spreadsheet as we went along. Hwoever, this is not foolproof. We never did find out who gave us the angel and we left someone else's present in the taxi coming back from the reception, so I just put ''thoughful gift' or something like that on the spreadsheet.

As soon as we came back from honeymoon I did a mail merge and everyone who had given us a present got a personalised letter, signed by us both, within ten days of the wedding.

As I say, it is a bit nerdy, but it worked, my conscience was clear and the wedding list has now become the Christmas card list.

Sometimes I frighten myself!

Mrs P P (a stickler for ettiquette)

I'm sorry, but etiquette surely says that mail merging and printing thank you notes is a no-no. I'd be seriously unimpressed if someone did that.

My OH is an IT consultant and I doubt even he would suggest 'automating' the process.

I received a lovely handwritten, personalised thank you card from the couple whose wedding I recently attended. They must have written them on honeymoon because it was within a week of returning!

[Deleted User]

I fully agree.. i'm an IT consultant also and would never automate the process - people have chosen gifts and spent money on you; the least you can do is write a handwritten reply.

We have pre-printed 'thank you cards', but they merely have our names and address on - no pre-printed thank you

We're writing ours before the wedding as presents are received (had about 10 so far) so that we don't have a huge backlog when we return from honeymoon