Wedding etiquette- thanks for coming!

OberonSH

I intend to write a little note - I don't think a lot of our friends will expect one, so it might come as a nice surprise. However, I hope there's not too much, e recently downgraded the size of our house, and still have trouble fitting in what we already have! A few people have asked what we want, money, vouchers etc, and we've both said not to worry about giving us anything, as we know they're making a real effort to be there. A wedding list sounded cheeky, plus there's nothing we really wanted, and besides, if I know someone well enough to invite them, I'd trust them well enough not to buy us something hideous/useless/eye-bleedingly ugly.

I can see why Mrs PP automated it, if it's a big wedding then it could be a few days worth of work! I'm going to jot a quick note of who gave what as we open them though, so I don;t get mixed up.

floss2

Would anyone object if I mail-merged my invite list/labels, and then used the printout for my gift list, then I can use the labels? I really really hate writing out addresses, and then we (as in the newly married "we") can have a mini production line going - write note, bung into envelope, chuck in photo, slap on label, stick on stamp, throw into post-box!

tinkerbell84

OberonSH wrote: »

I can see why Mrs PP automated it, if it's a big wedding then it could be a few days worth of work! I'm going to jot a quick note of who gave what as we open them though, so I don;t get mixed up.

You probably shouldn't have a big wedding if you can't handle the thank you notes!

Floss - I wouldn't object to the label or invite being done like that, but the thank you note should be handwritten (in my opinion).

melancholly

so i agree that not sending a thank you card is rude (whether that is for birthdays, christmas, weddings, christenings etc), but i really think expecting a hand written note, lavished with care and attention is perhaps pushing it (e.g. a wedding with lots of people or a new birth when the couple have plenty of other things to be doing!). i'll happily type letters in general as my handwriting is bad and i get cramp after a while.......... there has to be a balance between what is polite from the recipient of the gift and what is a reasonable expectation from the person giving it. seems to be swinging a little bit too far towards unrealistic expectations to me! would you really be offended if a card wasn't hand written?! if so, i think that's a real real shame!

tinkerbell84

you may as well send an e-mail if you're going to type it (again, in my view)

melancholly

and would that be a bad thing?! you could argue that that's more environmentally responsible anyway!

tinkerbell84

melancholly wrote: »

and would that be a bad thing?! you could argue that that's more environmentally responsible anyway!

True :rotfl:

It's the saying thank you and meaning it that's important to me. I send a thank you to people that invite me to events (a hand written note or card - natch ). I don't see why it should be so difficult for others to send their sincere thanks. There's no point sending it if you don't mean it.

polly1976

Hi i do agree a thankyou would be nice but when i got married a few weeks after the wedding i fell really ill and ended up in hospital so none of my guests got thankyou cards what im trying to say is if you havnt spoke to them since the wedding you dont know the cercumstances give them the benifit of the doubt

becs

I got married last year and had booked a few days off work after coming back from our honeymoon specifically to do things like thank you's. I hand wrote all our thank you cards and made them all individual rather than just generic "thank you" . I enclosed a photo in all of the cards, in most cases of the guest themself in the photo wherever possible. This took a long time to sort through the photos to find the right one and I know that this was very much appreciated by our guests. They could see I had put alot of time and effort into the thank you's and they weren't just something we were doing because we ought to, we were doing it because we wanted to genuinely say thank you.
I think it is the height of rudeness not to say thank you and is one of my pet hates. I even stopped buying my friend's children presents because I never got a thank you despite going to the effort of choosing them something appropriate and then posting it to them in time for xmas or birthdays. I wouldn't necessarily expect children to write thank yous but I would at least expect a phone call from them to say thank you. A written thank you is nicer in my opinion and I would expect that of older children. My godchildren are fantastic at thank you letters and I usually have one within 48hours of them receiving the present! I think they could teach a few adults a thing or two!