Wedding etiquette- thanks for coming!

floss2

So when DF & I tie the knot, I will order him to write the Thank-you cards ....

I agree, it is rude, and we shall certainly make sure everyone is thanked - both for their presence & present.

Jet

This is something that really annoys me.

The last wedding I went to (a colleague), the invite stated (in a fancy poem) that they didn't want presents - only money.

The wedding itself was fine although the bride and groom didn't once come and say hello to us.

And then afterwards not even a verbal thank you. In the end I had to ask my colleague if he got my money I left for the "happy couple". He sheepishly said "yes, er, thanks".
:mad:

Primrose

No I don't think you're being unreasonable about feeling peeved about not receiving a Thank You letter. I find manners today quite appalling. We also attended a wedding recently, not even getting an invite to the reception but still gave a wedding gift. No acknowledgement after nearly 3 months so I wrote and said I was a little concerned that they probably hadn't received the gift as I hadn't heard from them and that if they would write and confirm that they hadn't received it, I would contact the store where the wedding gift list was held and enquire what had gone wrong. Only then did I get a response saying "thank you". It has made me feel I don't want to bother any more. You almost feel that you only get invited for the present you are supplying.

VickyA_2

:hangs head in mortal shame:

I must admit to having taken slightly longer in writing our thank you letters last year. I had a major problem at work (bullying which led to a near-nervous breakdown) and thankfully, guests and generous present givers were very understanding - they went out in dribs and drabs, but everyone got a grovelly one in the end.


Like some others with expensive meals and guests being ungrateful, I didn't hear it at our wedding. However, at a friend's wedding other guests on the same table as us were turning their noses up at most of the food. I thought it was lovely, but I was embarassed because they didn't seem to appreciate how much the food it had cost the happy couple/their parents.

Violetta_2

Never mind a thank you card the lovely lady who married my brother hasn't even spoken to me (NOT A WORD:mad: ) since the wedding 3 years ago!
Now that's just plain rude. Sorry OT I think ettiquette around thankyou cards etc is a thing a lot of people aren't aware of. I'm sure your friend didn't mean to be rude or realise they were being thoughtless.

Dan_Thunder

Personally I don't see the big deal. I went to a Wedding in July and haven't received a thank you card, why should I? Surely being invited to the Wedding is thanks enough!?

Let's be honest, it's not like inviting you didn't cost anything either is it? For the average guest who attends both the daytime and evening events it'll probably cost the Bride & Groom/whoever about £60-70 per head for the meal, the buffet, drink on reception, fizz for toasts & wine for the meal.

If you go through life expecting to be thanked for everything you do you'll just end up disappointed a lot of the time.

Margaret54

I think anyone who does not thank a person for a gift etc is very rude and i would feel the same, where it done to me.My husband and i were only away on honeymoon for the night of our wedding, and the next day i had bought thank you cards for each and every guest and wrote out the cards that same night ready to post in the morning as we were very touched by the kindness shown to us both on our special day. Those who were not invited to the wedding(work colleagues) were also sent a wee thank you card for their lovely gifts as well. I think bad manners are awful, and they are sadly lacking today.

morg_monster

I completely agree that thank you letter should be sent after a wedding, but I think you are jumping the gun a little to be thinking badly of them at this point - I know its 2 months down the line but if they have had a honeymoon and are moving into a new house as you said, they probably have a lot on their plate and haven't had the time to buy and write out cards. A late thank you is better than none at all so I'd hold tight til christmas - as someone else said, if they've got to this point without sending out cards, they are probably thinking to combine it with a christmas card which seems like a good idea to me. My friend took a couple of months to send out thankyous - again, they had a 3wk honeymoon, moved, she started a new job, and then they wanted to send a group photo from the wedding with the cards so had to get those printed too. It all took a little while but they did come eventually.
To be honest I'd always be very surprised if I got a thankyou within a month after a wedding, with all the hassle that goes hand in hand with them! (unless they're those freakishly organised people who write the letters before and just fill in the gaps as they open the presents!!!)

Badger_Lady

I wouldn't feel angry, but maybe that's just me... my friends got married in June and I was genuinely surprised to receive a thank you card with a wedding photo inside it several weeks later. It's the first time that's ever happened to me!

Normally when I go to friends' weddings, the gifts are specified beforehand, I have a great time on the day, I'm delighted for my friends and wish them all the best together, and expect nothing more from them. As far as I'm concerned, they've had a constant hassle organising everything and now's their time to settle down, chill out and enjoy married life.

I don't place that much importance on a shop-bought piece of cardboard, and I don't expect to be remembered as one of the 60+ people who all bought a gift from the wedding list / gave them money.

Imelda

In my family ettiquette is pretty important, for example, it has been drummed into me to send a thank you card to the wedding host (ie whoever invited you, parents/ couple themselves) straight after the wedding. I usually include a few photos of the day since they are unlikely to have any themselves until a few weeks after the wedding. I always think it must be nice to come back from the honeymoon to find it on the doormat (if sent to the newlyweds).
I would also expect a thank you up to 6 months after the wedding, I am still awaiting a thank you from August. It's not even the point of getting a card, just an acknowledgement via email or text. Or is that too difficult/ too much to ask?