Wedding etiquette- thanks for coming!

Chick

Hi everyone,

This is a tiny thing, in the grand scheme of things happening in this day & age but...
I went to an old school friend's wedding in mid-september- it was fun but also v costly with travel (wedding was 4 hours from my home), hotel accommodation, clothes & wedding gift- the amount it cost could've got me a bargain weeks holiday in the sun- you get the picture.

I've not heard a thing from the couple so far- no note of thanks or even a text to say thanks for coming. Is it me or does that seem a bit rude? We're not that close any more as mates but I would have thought an acknowledgement would be nice, not to mention the done thing.

To my knowledge, none of my other friends who attended got a 'thanks for the present' letter- so for now, I know it's not just me!
What do other people think, am I expecting too much from people or are weddings such a big deal for the couple there is no energy left to say thanks to those who attended, bought a present & helped celebrate their big day? or is it just me?!

back2square1

Well you should have received a "thanks for the gift" card by now so I can appreciate your frustration. Why don't you give her a ring and ask if she liked the present that you bought? I would.

Also I would like to say that when I got married 8years ago I did find some of the guests comments who moaned about the food choice very hurtful. We had paid £50 per head and they come and tell you they didn't like the main course they would have preferred it if it had been chicken! Ungrateful beggars

Chick

Yeah, was thinking of calling or emailing him- thing is, i presumed as they were going on honeymoon, moving into new home etc I'd just wait til they got in touch but it's been a long old while now.

Absolutely- it must be frustrating to hear throwaway comments when you've organised every last detail for the wedding & it is quite ungrateful to say something like that. There's no pleasing some people...

floss2

Maybe wait until you get a Christmas card - thank you cards / notes may be in the same envelope. If nothing then, I would give them a ring, with a subtle enquiry like "how useful did you find our gift" - then you'll know if they have any idea who gave them what!

prestonlass

oooh it drives me mad when people aren't courteous enough to say thank-you.
Over this last couple of years our friends have always asked for money as a gift (a particular pet hate of mine, might as well just sell tickets, priced per head) and twice I have been worried that perhaps the chq got lost or even worse I forgot to sign it or something. Until you hear, you don't know if they got it or have to check with the bank that it's cleared.
The one where my partner was best man, he actually asked the groom cos 2 months later the money had not left our account. The groom replied 'oh you weren't one of those stupid people who wrote the chq to Mr & Mrs **** where you, it's caused us a problem as we have no account in that name!' Couldn't quite believe my ears, how terribly rude & thoughtless of us to send a cheque for £100 to Mr & Mrs **** on their wedding day! unbelievable.

Chick

They should really know exactly who gave them what as they had an extensive wedding list with a department store & all the gifts get delivered with a personal message from each guest who has bought something.

Ah, it just dawned on me the other day that I hadn't heard anything from them & just thought they were being rubbish with getting back to people...

rachnbri

Might be on its way - we got married end of September and have only just this week sent out thank you cards! We had intended to do it as soon as we got back from honeymoon but time just flew away.

tinkerbell84

prestonlass wrote: »

The one where my partner was best man, he actually asked the groom cos 2 months later the money had not left our account. The groom replied 'oh you weren't one of those stupid people who wrote the chq to Mr & Mrs **** where you, it's caused us a problem as we have no account in that name!' Couldn't quite believe my ears, how terribly rude & thoughtless of us to send a cheque for £100 to Mr & Mrs **** on their wedding day! unbelievable.

actually i can see their point. i kept my name (and as we had a list and didn't expect money i hadn't told people i was doing that) so we had a few cheques made out to "mr & mrs ............" that we couldn't cash.

we had a quiet word with the people that did that, and they wrote us new cheques. they actually got thanked several times because each conversation started "thanks for coming to the wedding, it was lovely to see you. thanks for the cheque - it was very generous. unfortunately.............." as well as proper thank you cards a few weeks later.

it bugs me when people don't say a proper thank you (almost as much as when people assume that everyone changes their name and has joint bank accounts when they marry!)

prestonlass

no, unlike yourselves, this bride & groom specifically asked for money as a gift so really they should have put something in place or specified gift vouchers for a certain place i think. Also, I may sound a little bitter but the wedding was in July and despite seeing them socially have had no mention of a thank you !

Gillianh2

I am sorry but I think that is disgusting, My daughter Married last July and she sent Thank You cards plus cake to "Every" guest.
The thing about the food made me smart as well as one guest actually said to my face (we paid for the wedding)mmmmmmmmmmmmm I have had a better meal in McDonalds!!!! We paid £55 a head!!! ohhhhhhhhhh I so wanted to say something but didnt,
I also find the asking for money rude as well. Our DD and SIL had both been away to Uni and had a fair amount of things between them but after much pushing put a small wedding list together. But also included a note saying that they would love the Mr/Mrs/miss to share there day with them no presents neccessary.
This they stressed to parties who travelled some distances.
I think it is extemly bad mannered not to "Thank" anyone be it for a Bday card or gift. No excuse these days even if its just a txt.
I dont blame you being cheesed off. Especially with the amount of money you spent to attend someone elses "big day":D
Rant and Ramble over:rotfl:

(slinks away to a dark room:j )

dotchas

They are probably expecting a "thank you" from you:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: