Debt, debt and more debt.

Drawingaline

Honestly? That's just cruel. She sounds like someone with her own problems. Remember this will be about her, not you. You don't need to buy a house to leave money to children. I would rather die penniless but leave children who are well adjusted, kind, selfless and nice, who love me and spent their life feeling loved and wanted. Aim for that and anything extra is a bonus.

Be kind to yourself and spend some time looking after you and your children. Don't worry too much about what others outside your little family think. Yes you got into a bad situation which you are now fixing. House ownership isn't the holy grail, many many people go through life happily renting. You are providing a roof over your children's head, hat is worth paying for. Home ownership may come in the future. 

janb5

I wish I could thank Drawingaline twice!  Absolutely spot on!  Emma, don`t be fazed by other people and not even family.  You are doing/have been doing a fantastic job in very challenging circumstances and I applaud you!  Go girl!

Jox

Your ex sounds like a major liar and manipulator, don't believe anything he says and keep notes on everything with dates to refer to...

Don't listen to your mum either, whether you rent or buy it just depends on people's circumstances and doesn't guarantee happiness!

There's inheritance tax to think of with home ownership anyway and possible squabbles over Wills....money can cause more problems in families...

Do what is best for you and your immediate family, try to let other people's words go in one ear and out the other, they are talking from their own place of fear.

Take care, keep strong!

shoppingobsessed2020

Why do you need to leave money to children when you die?  My parents have already said it’s bypassing me and my siblings and going to the grandkids.  Spend every penny (but no debt) and enjoy yourself is my aim.  

Google narcissist and see if any of those traits ring bells with your re your mum and most likely ex husband.  Really helpful if she is a narcissist as you can learn tips to help you manage her.

your doing amazing, look at all that you have achieved over the past few months and give yourself a break, look after yourself.

Primrose

Emma. You set yourself own goals for yourself.  You know what you want long term and must decide how to prioritise them.  Input from others not walking in your shoes is rarely helpful.  Would it be helpful to reduce your contact with your mum for a while?  Her manner seems to be upsetting you in these difficult times when you need to try and reduce stressful influences.

janb5

Emma - you feel overwhelmed at the moment and that`s understandable.
But you are studiously ignoring all your triumphs!
Write down all your achievements since splitting with your ex and feel proud. Keep the list to refer to in dark moments. I don`t even know you but anyone who looks after their children the way you do and survives a nasty divorce is to be applauded and admired.
Never ever compare yourselves with others.  There are a lot of unhappy people out there who` pretend` all is rosy.
Tomorrow is indeed another day and you WILL get there. Bite size pieces. xx

Kitten868

I can tell you're being objective to try and get through it and what you're saying is totally right. When you're the only adult its like your not allowed emotions. And you can't rant to them. 
Your mum should be building you up, not knocking you down. We all know you're a star. You have a strong work ethic and you're a lovely mum. Everyone knows it's harder to get forward as a single. You are doing fantastically despite everything going on around you. 
I'm bribing my kids: if you don't grizzle and moan for the duration of this walk you can have sweets or an ice lolly. You have to get through however you can. I don't know what you bribe teenagers with though sorry. You need your walks same as me xxxx

PurpleFairy26

Unfortunately you can’t pick your family as the saying goes but I do feel you should reduce contact with your mum for your own MH. As others have said you are doing amazingly well. If she can’t be supportive then you don’t need her comments. 

Suffolk_lass

Sometimes it is the generation they are that makes them say things that are hurtful and unconscious. During my conversation with my Mum last night she made reference to telling my sister something about me that she referred to as lovely. Cue my body image issues and a secret tearful evening and sleepless night. She does not know she is doing it in my Mum's case. Having not spoken to anyone else yesterday I got a complete stream of consciousness from her. At one point she asked what I had been doing, but halfway through the first thing she interrupted and told me about her. She is on her own, and has been for weeks. She needs more company than she has. I know it isn't malicious. It still upset me but I would not dream of cutting off contact or reducing it. How I deal with it is in my control. What she says is not. 

I tell you this because how you react to her is the bit you can work on, not her expectations or disappointments - maybe look at what you can distract her with by changing the subject. 

[Deleted User]

Thanks for the moral support. My relationship with my Mum is something we have both struggled with all of our lives. If you put me on a couch a therapist would have a field day. I'm going to have a break for a couple of days from talking to until I'm feeling less emotional.  Another telling off won't end well for either of us. 
Fell asleep downstairs and so when I went to bed at 3 my DD was in it with the dog. She'd put the fan on him to keep him cool and so there was no moving either. I came back downstairs and then couldn't sleep. I managed a couple of hours in the chair but my body is all bent and sore today. 
When I first met my husband he told me that he was loaded, had loads of houses and lied about his job. That wasn't the attraction, just a bonus. Eventually it all unravelled. It was like John and Diedre from Coronation Street when he told her he was a pilot when in reality he worked at Tie Rack. 
I got my walk yesterday evening with DD. It wasn't a long one but we got out.