Debt, debt and more debt.

Kitten868

I'm really sorry I have no idea whether he is allowed to do this or whether you can have it rewritten/amended or whether you just get to put a response. I don't have any advice but I know others do.
The one important thing you said is that this is the last thing he can do to you. Once this is over it's all done. Lets be fair you've blocked him on all social media, you've not risen to any of his tactics to upset you. He's found another way to upset you. You are a strong person who has made sensible moves to leave him and cut off his toxic hold. 
Could you explain to work what has happened and request that the mail is collected by you without being opened?
Stay strong lovely. I was hoping to hear more about your new sales plan xxxx

bigsteve85

LOng time lurker, first time poster to your diary,

keep going Emma you are doing amazingly well, he’s the waster with nothing to live for you on the other hand are a role model to your kids the way you have dealt with all this is breathtakingly brilliant, I’ll be keeping an eye on this thread your doing amazing 

Kitten868

He's having to pull you back to thinking about him as he hasn't got anything else worth doing. There is so much more going on in your life. I know work is proving too much (as it would for anyone - you are not the problem) but you are still dusting yourself off and focusing yourself on your family and your side hustle. You're doing fantastically. 
Great work on the sales. And I totally agree with you on the higher expenditure. The pandemic is proving so much more expensive for me too. All my friends seem to be saving so much money. Xxxx

Naomim

It sounds like you have done the right thing with the guy who wants to be closer.  Firstly, if a man made it clear he didn't like my dog, then the dog wins hands down. Also, how old is he that he needs to be constantly in touch?  Being blunt and making your intentions clear are the best way, then there's no grey areas or expectations that are not met.  A bit like a Bronte novel.  I think you sound like you are just getting yourself back to a better place and probably don't need the added complication a relationship will bring.

As for your Dad and sister... families ey? They forget and we all take each other for granted.  However, if my sister said she'd forgotten something and I was in the queue, I'd just say they had none in stock, I wouldn't go back! Maybe I'm bad!

It's a very kind thing to offer to help the lady with the shop. 

good luck

Naomim

Chrystal

Well the last thing you need in your life is another control freak, so I'd say you're well rid of the X boyfriend!

As for EX it's his last hurrah and he's doing his best to try to  control your emotions, as that's all he has left to control.  See him for what he is and try not to let him get under your skin... he's not worth it.  (((hugs)))

I hope your family realise how lucky they are to have you doing things for them.  I'd just have told your sister that I was in the queue to pay and no way was I going back around the shop!  Make a 'cut off' time for any list that she want's getting.    You know there's a saying about  'if you make yourself a doormat  people will wipe their feet on you'  Please don't let anyone take you for granted.  Know your own worth.XX

That also applies to the lady with the shop!

Suffolk_lass

I dare not make shortbread - we would eat it all! - At least it was not salt (been there once...). You are lucky with the Paddy Power thing. Have a good walk (blue skies here but a rubbish forecast later)

Kitten868

You don't seem to have much luck with the men folk at the moment, do you? You're better off steering well clear. You do better batting them off til you get someone worthy swooping in. They will come when you're ready. 
I would consider blocking his number. 

Focus on your enterprise lovely and your family. You'll plow through the debt and the lockdown. You're going great guns xxxx

[Deleted User]

Thanks Kitten868. I juat have no interest in being with anybody. I like sleeping on my own with the dog. The ex lives on his own and I think he just wants to be part of a family. He told me he was lonely. 
Not his fault really but certainly not something I want to be taking on. Besides, little things were starting to annoy me. The breathing on the phone whenever we had a conversation. He sounds like a rude caller. I think it's allergies.  My life is pretty boring at the minute as I imagine everybody elses is. Whatever I say I had done during the day he would say 'that sounds cool'. No it doesn't!  I wonder how people are going to date moving forward. I can't see how it is going to work if you meet somebody online and then want to meet in person. Do you both turn up with masks on and social distance? Is that even a thing when a date is going well?
Took the dog for a walk today with the children. We all got soaked but quite enjoyed it as it felt like we had some freedom as we trotted through the fields. Got a free bet on PP. I might win £17. Fingers crossed. 

Kitten868

Haha I know about this. You do a 'dates' on zoom. Well. That's all I know. Dates have managed to become much more awkward. You're much better off out of it. 
I don't think your life sounds boring. But I know what you mean. This lockdown world does seem rather clockwork. Especially if you have children. It just seems to be being relentlessly nagged about food until you put them to bed and wake up and do it all again.
Plus your life is exciting. You're building a whole brand new normal and focusing on what makes you happy and your needs xxx

[Deleted User]

Morning. I'm tired today. Been walking a lot and I think it has caught up with me. Went for a walk yesterday but left the dog behind as it was quite a steep walk. Walked past a farm and a big white dog came bounding out and followed me all the way around. I couldn't shake it off. I walked past the farm on my way back and it just trotted back into the owners house. I told him that his dog had followed me and he said he had been looking eveywhere (he hadn't). Told me I could keep her as she is a pain. 
Didn't win the £17 on Paddy Power but sold a coat for £20 and a bra for £10. I treated the children to a takeaway last night. It cost me £16 but it was lovely. 
I've backed off from the woman with the shop. I figured that I can't afford to spend too much time on something that isn't going to bring me any benefits. She taken some of my advice but her clothes are really expensive. A cardigan is £40 and isn't even a brand. She charges x2.5 of cost price.
I've been in touch with some more suppliers and so when I have some more money I'll start to invest. 
I also have a policy that is due to mature this year. I paid £7 for 15 years and get all my premiums back. I think that's around £1200 coming my way. I'm not sure what month it is coming but I know it is this year. 
My debts when I first had the moment of panic were around £45,000. A staggering amount. I've cut around a third off that. (I need to do some proper figures). I still feel overwhelmed but I know I can move in the right direction. I'm no longer living on credit or using overdrafts and so although I'm not pumping loads of money at the moment into paying it off I'm not adding to it.