Debt, debt and more debt.

keggsy

I have just read your whole diary in one go.

What an amazing woman you are!!

Your resilience and strength is astounding.

I wish you all the luck with your journey

x

Andyjflet

Just dropped in and read your whole story, congratulations on the rest of your life, I have been in a similar situation back in 2010 and I'm still dealing with the rebuild of my life now but never looked back, keep positive you are inspirational to those who are in a situation they feel they have to tolerate. Your story proves you dont !

Toni'sfriend

You are not a failure. You are strong. You are an inspiration. Keep going. You will get there.

Primrose

Have just read this entire thread and amazed at your resilience.
It sounds as if you are physically and emotionally exhausted though.
You have a demanding job you need to keep so looking after your health is now a major priority.

Please use these dark autumn and winter evening to relax whenever you can, find some quiet space for yourself and improve your sleep quota if that,s possible. Sounds like your body and brain have been fighting fires for far too long.

Investing in your physical and mental health now, after all you've been through should be a key priority.

Primrose

Emma. I think the best thing yiu can do to to do get get yourself off social media. Don,t subject yourself to reading this stuff. It,s not going to do your mental health any good at all .

JennyJukes

Hi Emma,

Gosh, I wrote in your diary when you first started it but I've just caught up!! First, I'm so glad you were able to leave safely, I had been in a similar position and the build up to me leaving was very scary for me. I also didn't eat for days afterwards and for weeks I could only really stomach a piece of fruit here and there.

It took me 6 months to delete my ex from all my social media and I was obsessed with looking at it. Like your ex, he wrote things for/about me then denied it when someone asked. Things like "fxxking bxxxh" or telling friends it's better being single than being with someone like XYZ (me) and also made up rumours I was living with another man. He would text me asking me who I was sleeping with when we had been broken up for months, he didn't let me have my belongings for months either, he took money from me too. Those first few months are absolutely horrific but you will get through them. I hope you have the courage to block his social medias at some point but I also know it's not as easy as people think.

I have been away from my ex for 2 years and I now have so much more confidence, I have a much better job than I did before (as I worked all hours to provide for us both), and I have a new boyfriend who treats me well. I'm hoping for the same for you - though the new relationship should come after the confidence and self-esteem because the last thing you need is a repeat, and you come before any man.

You'll feel sad at first, then angry, then pity him, then you'll feel nothing. But he'll always be an angry, in denial man that only cares about himself. When I do see my ex on social media, I can tell he's the same sad person and always will be.

beanielou

Even if you could think of deleting him from one sort of social media?
So glad that it wasent around when I seperated from from ex DH.

Suffolk_lass

I hope the new car is working out for you - another great step away from your previous position. You have this under your control now - well done. Here's to a good week!

Suffolk_lass

I would also take some screen shots of his outbursts - they are great evidence of his unreasonable behaviour that will assist with your divorce. Use it to your advantage or don't look at it as others suggest

Andyjflet

[Deleted User] wrote:

Feeling miserable today. Went to the Cinema to watch The Adams Family and had to sit in the toilet for 15 minutes to break it up. Terrible film! Having a down day today but think it's because I'm in work tomorrow and after my outburst last Friday I don't know what awaits me.

None of my friends have been free to go out and so I've gone from being out with ex when he didn't have something better to do to staying in and not going anywhere . I don't think it's particularly healthy and so I need to have a think about how I fix it. Stuck really as work is over an hour away and by the time I get in and sort out the dog my evening is pretty much over.

Went to pick up post from the old house and ex had a load of debt letters. CCJ's etc. He can't have much money spare now that I have gone.

I want to get back to paying off the debts but this move has meant that there's a blip at the moment.

I am thinking the opposite Emma, when I split with my other half, after months of trying to go out I realised I had to heal myself, I spent 6 months in my apartment looking after myself, watching Netflix, reading , cooking for myself and spending time with my daughters when I could, those 6 months really fixed me and I am no longer afraid of spending time on my own.