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Debt, debt and more debt.

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  • I just read the whole thing in one go. I am so pleased u got out of that relationship. Good luck with everything( can anyone tell me how to subscribe to this forum please?)
  • Hope DD is coping okay with it. Must be hard on her although its for the best.
    Might be a case of blocking the number for a while if the texts are like that.
    Jan 18 Joint debts 35,213

    Mortgage Jan 18- 77224 May 25- just under 65k

    June 25 Debts in my name only £5170. DH can't keep track...
  • Hi Emma, I have read your diary from start to finish & just want to say that you are one tough cookie. It takes huge courage to do what you’ve done & I know it’s a cliche, but it will get easier as time goes on. He sounds like a massive rick with a silent ‘p’ & you deserve better!
  • Honestly, keep the picture. I don't want you
    coming to my work and I don't want to see where you're talking all your new 'tigxx arxx' women back to. You have broken me with your behaviour leading up to this and your actions after I moved out. Not once did you try to make it right after I found the dating profile and somehow turned it around that it was my fault. I even recall you saying 'ask yourself why I did it?' I have and I have no answers other than I and what we had meant nothing to you. You've been cruel beyond measure and I didn't deserve any of it. Being in a relationship isn't exciting all the time. Over time it becomes much deeper than that and I thought you were my best friend. Anybody can chase excitement but ultimately it doesn't last . I thought you were my forever and you lied and let me down. You may be having more fun now and these women may have more of a personality and I just hope that you don't take them for granted like you did me. I'm deleting your number and so please don't contact me again. When I have the money I'll sort out the divorce and send the papers to you via your work.

    He is now deleted.

    Well done, Emma. You won't regret doing it. Have a good night out with your friend.
    Have adventures. laugh a lot and always be kind.
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,701 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    The running machine should soon show financial dividends over the cost of a gym membership which should help your debt reduction and you can exercise for nothing indoors on miserable dark wet winter nights.

    All these actions are valuable steps in creating a new life for yourself. Your Ex is soon going to find himself left behind in a mass of debt, worthless relationships and probably an insecure living environment. Deleting his phone number was a very positive act in asserting control over your new life.
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,701 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    Emma, don,t be too harsh with yourself. You need to draw back and take a breath occasionally after stressful periods. This is what gives us the impetus and resolve to move forward again.

    Your ex sounds as if he's running around like a headless chicken. Sooner or later he'll have to grow up and it will prove a very chastening experience.

    Perhaps suggest to your friend that you really don,t want any more news about him or his activities. It,s really only serving to add salt into wounds which you're trying to heal and whilst it might give you some satisfaction to watch him slowly cooking his own goose you can do without his barbs when you're still trying to get your own life in order.
  • Primrose
    Primrose Posts: 10,701 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper I've been Money Tipped!
    In that case, why not just sign the cards from Emma & family, and let the recipients either not notice or draw their own conclusions?.
  • Primrose makes a good suggestion and my response to your mum would be less than kind. You have nothing to be ashamed of and a simple I would rather not go into detail to enquiries should suffice then she does not have to explain anything. If your ex gets to hear you have signed cards on his behalf imagine how he would frame that.
    I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Debt free Wannabe, Budgeting and Banking and Savings and Investment boards. If you need any help on these boards, do let me know. Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any posts you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button, or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own and not the official line of MoneySavingExpert.

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  • DawnW
    DawnW Posts: 7,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Or avoid Christmas cards altogether and simply announce in a round robin email or on FB wishing everyone a Happy Christmas and explaining you and your family are donating to an environmental charity instead to avoid all the paper / cardboard waste?

    Seriously, your Mum should not expect you to lie to people.
  • Primrose makes a good suggestion and my response to your mum would be less than kind. You have nothing to be ashamed of and a simple I would rather not go into detail to enquiries should suffice then she does not have to explain anything. If your ex gets to hear you have signed cards on his behalf imagine how he would frame that.

    Completely agree with enthusiastic saver, you have nothing to be ashamed of. If anything your mum should be proud that you had the strength to walk away from a toxic man! Independence should be celebrated not kept as a dirty secret.
    My debt free journey, diary and all! New Life Pending :beer:
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