So fed up

Carmina_Piranha_3

i think a charity cow is an excellent idea. perhaps not a cow but something from the oxfam or worldvision charity catalogue might appeal to your niece. if you are buying her something that's 'worth £30' then it makes no difference that it can be bought cheaper elsewhere. any saving should be in your own pocket! spend the extra tenner on something from the charity catalogue. i usually buy from world vision and you get a lovely card which you personalise online with a message and a picture. you even get to put your own message on the front of the card.

katskorner

Here is a perfect hamster - so much fun!

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Ball-Runner-Hamster-in-Ball-brand-new_W0QQitemZ160101935001QQihZ006QQcategoryZ1039QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQcmdZViewItem

Nenen

katskorner wrote: »

Friends of mine prefer to take my eldest son out for a day rather than buy him a present as then they get to spend time together and have new experiences which they think is far more important. This year they have even offered to take me and my youngest out with my son for his birthday. It is such a caring way of doing things as it is something meaningful

That's a lovely idea katskorner. Chocogirl, as you've said you like to take your neice out anyway, why don't you give her your own 'voucher' for Christmas with a promise of a special trip somewhere with picnic, sleepover etc. Your sister cannot cost that!
Mind you, you could always tell her that the combined time of your dh and yourself is worth £20 per hour (at least) and so for a 10 hour day she 'should' be buying your children something worth £200!

I really don't understand the idea of a 'gift' being 'given' only in exchange for something of a similar value... in my book that's called 'trading'!

chocogirl

Thats a great idea katskorner and Nenan, i like that, and have to remember the trading remark too, that is excatlly what she is making us do trade not give, and i love giving too.

Also like the charity ideas too.

Thanks for all your help and support.

balmaiden

I know this is totally of the track, but this thread has made me feel really sad. What has happened to people that they actually count the cost of presents given to them?

When my father was four his sister was six they had a new baby brother born prematurely in early december. My Grandmother was very ill and my Grandfather had to employ a " nurse " for two weeks. My Grandfather was a farm worker and obviously found this very difficult to pay, but pay he had to.
The nurse left a few days before xmas and Grandad went to the village shop with a few coppers to buy something for xmas dinner and maybe a few sweets for the children for xmas. However the shopkeeper informed Grandad that there was a bill outstanding, run up by the nurse. Of course Grandad paid this. It left no money for xmas.

My fathers first xmas he could really remember consisted of Roast rabbit, shot by Grandad, with mashed turnip " borrowed from the fields " and of course no presents from Santa.
O.K this was over 70 years ago but it was told to me as a child, I told my children and now the Grandchildren are being told. It certainly makes all of us appreciate whatever we are given and still brings a tear to my eye when my Dad tells of him and his sister looking out of the window all day looking for Santa who never came.

MadDogWoman_2

I have issues with family too.

We were expected to buy for all the children under 18 (10 of) on DH's side of the family for birthday's and Christmas with nothing in return! All on account until we had children of our own.

Consider the fact that DH and I have fertility issues and took us 8 years to have a baby - that's a lot of pressies etc, but from what I can tell one of his sister's and brother have bought something for DD.

The sister that claims to be closest to DH has said that she will just give DD money - which I will spend on clothes in the January sales as she'll be in the next size clothes by then.

Last year we decided that we couldn't afford to hand out £10 out to everyone (saving for the baby) so all the children got a selection box each, just to show that we had thought of them.

On my side of the family the deal is buy for adults until they have children, but I don't care I'll have all of DD's pressies to open, especially when I thought it would never happen.

MDW

Aliktren

I think the idea behind presents has been lost in the whole Christmas hoopla. In this situation I would either have told her to stuff the 30 quid where the sun doesnt shine, or at least agree to both not spend any money...good grief this is an upsetting thread!

Garnet_Gem

Christmas is now £mas to a lot of people. To tell someone how much they should spend on a present should lead to all presents being stopped and the money donated to charity.

misty

Buy a present in the sale with a £50 price sticker and then tell her you want £20 change!

I can't believe that people demand certain presents and a certain amount. I have one child and lots of my friends have more than one - I certainly wouldn't expect them to spend double the amount to try and equal what I may have spent. I don't even spend exactly the same amount on each child - I buy what I think they will like with what I can afford sometimes that means they have something from a sale that I wouldn't have bought full price. It should be the thought that goes into it. Why not suggest that neither of you buy for the others child - I'm sure they'll get plenty anyway.

My friend and I suggested only buying for the kids to save money and then thought they get loads more than us - let's buy for each other - they'll get loads! In the end, we did give in and get them a little something.

Carmina_Piranha_3

my parents etc. buy for the six grandchildren - i have 2 kids, sis has 3 and brother has 1. the children all get something they would like, probably of around equal value - regardless of the number of siblings they have! what a horrible way of looking at things just be glad you're not your sister - she can't possibly be happy with an attitude like that.

for most of the time it was just my eldest and my sister's 2 born close together and i'd have been horrified if anybody had suggested buying twice as much for my son simply because the other two are brothers :eek: