So fed up

affordmylife

Well thats made me feel quite sad really.

And relieved cos I got the dreaded phone call this morning from my sister too.

She'd text a few days ago to say she needed to talk to me about xmas presents. Like a fool I thought she meant what either me my dh or five kids may want for a present.

Silly me - she'd rung to tell me exactly what she and her partner want even down to what shop they are from and what colour they want.

I did quite well tho - I told her Id finished my shopping - ha.

Then she went on to ask what Id bought - er hello its a present a surprise not going to tell you now. She is not normal is she.

Not once did she ask what any of us want. And I wouldnt dream of suggesting anything unless someone asked me for an idea. How rude is she.

Anyway enough of my sad family.

OP do whatever makes you feel comfortable and happy. I am growing stronger with my sister and not taking the s**t any more. Ive accepted that she will never change but it doesnt mean I have to stoop to her level.

I think the best option is to get something which is exactly what your neice would enjoy not about what your sister wants. You should be going out and choosing something not being told the exact item to buy.

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

buxtonrabbitgreen

My mum used to do the so much per family thing. Myself and 2 sisters all have children but my brother is single. I never thought that it wasn't fair that he should have a bigger share, but that he deserved it, after all he has always bought presents for all our kids. We all do whatever we like now. One sister decided one year that we would only buy presents for the kids. I went along with that for a couple of years. Now I buy for all if I can afford it. Not much but whatever I can. She can so what she likes ie buy me a present or not, I am not bothered. But if any of my sisters or brother started dictating to me what I should spend it wouldn't do them any good at all. Just do what you think.

Ems*Honie

How silly.

2 Children makes christmas twice the cost, I would tell her I was spending half per child than she is to make it up fairly.

We've always just bought pressies, £10 ish per child and a token (choc tin) gift for the grown ups. I have no idea what the rest of the family spend, except one childless aunty who is in a very good job (after years of study and working hard) who spoils the kids at christmas, but not ott iyswim?

kingfisher1961

It is really sad how some people can be at Christmas isn't it?

We now only buy for nieces and nephews or their children (apart from our parents) and although my two get a present from my brothers they get virtually nothing at all from my DH's family. It doesn't bother me really apart from if we see them on Christmas Day and hand over presents, my two get nothing in return. They have never said anything though and we buy them enough anyway.

This year I have not spent much on DH's side as we are short of money.
I have knitted hats and mittens and put in some chocolate too. It's nice to get them a little something to open and I can't understand why people behave like this.

I just remembered something that does wind me up though and that is we never get a "thank you" even if we have handed the gift over personally :mad: :mad:

mioliere

I found it hard to believe the first post on here. Please don't let yourself be bullied in this way. Years ago, my sisters and brother and I decided that we would only buy for each other's children and value doesn't come into it. I buy presents right through the year, in the sales if I'm lucky, but I always buy something I see that I know would be perfect for a particular person. Fortunately, my family has never had much in the way of spare money so I am used to bargain-hunting. I knit a lot of presents, make up photo albums of pictures taken throughout the year that I keep hidden, so they are a surprise - people always appreciate that and it's become one of my traditions. This year, we have all decided to to have a second-hand Christmas - my younger sister did that last year with her children and their husbands and wives, sons and daughters, and it proved a real success. It makes hunting for presents even more exciting and I've been able to find some amazing presents for just a few pence. I also love the idea of buying a charity gift. I have just organised a £17 gift through one which will provide a year's education to a child in the Sudan - the gifts start from £5. I think this is the perfect gift for someone who is materialistic. It might make them think a little less about themselves and more about those less fortunate.

I must admit, no-one has ever been ungrateful about anything I have given them - it's a rotten example to set children. I also never ask anyone what they want - that's my choice! Equally, I never tell anyone what I want. I love a surprise.

I hope the OP has a brilliant Christmas and can set a new course for the next one. It's your money you are spending - and it's up to you how you spend it.

I feel as if I have rambled on, but the first post made me feel angry and sad all at the same time. It's Christmas, after all - goodwill and all that; not counting the value of everything and then whinging.