So fed up

chocogirl

I want to scream, i am so fed up, for the last 8 years, i have to spend double on my neice who is 11 years(£30) as she has 1 child and i have 2, and she spends £15 on each of mine, it is really getting me down, before i had my children i used to spend what i could afford on him, i always brought nice pressies for her and would spend time looking for hier and getting a good price, i have been know to spend ages looking for the right thing at the best price, its really making me feel bitter, am i being unresonable?

elona

Why not buy something that "should" have cost about £25 or so for a lot less?

I find that www.thebookpeople have lots of brand new books for about quarter of the listed price.

I have got sets of about six books for £6.99 or £9.99 - for the whole set- that should have cost about £6 each anywhere else.

Or you could suggest that you both buy a "token" present for the kids for a fiver max - "as Christmas is getting so commercial!"

Badger_Lady

I don't see that there should be exact budgets for gifts...

The whole "you've got more children than me" thing is silly anyway. I'm single, so I have to buy individual presents for all my friends / family while they only buy me joint gifts. Effectively I get half the value back that I've spent - that's just the way it goes! I'm not bitter :-)

Why don't you suggest (as I and many others have done) that this year should be about hand-made / token gifts. See the thread "Festive Favours for a Fiver" for wonderful ideas that are really much more appreciated than just expensive toys.

Who told you you have to spend £30, anyway?

chocogirl

My sister told me i have to spend £30, as its not fair, that was her reason, at the time, i did say something but it started a big row, even parents think i should, as parents do have a much bigger bond with niece.
I had found a great present for her, and its £20 instead of £35 , its a good pressie and just a one off price, so i thought blow it im just going to get that and be done with it, but sis has just rung up and say hey you can get these for £20 if you go to that shop so you can buy a "blah blah" as well. Its unbelieavble, I always have to check what she wants, and the thought that goes into tthe pressies she buys my children is minimal (and the thought is what it should all be about)
My kids still write a santa list, and when i was younger, Aunts and Uncles would ring my parents and say whats on the list that i can buy. It helped them out and made Christmas feel magical, My sis would never do that, as she has brought everyone christmas pressies in an afternoon, and wrapped them up before November starts.
Sorry if i am ranting on and some may think its pathetic on my part, but the phonecall this morning tipped me over the edge, defo ruined my day off.

WeirdoMagnet

Why don't you buy a pressie (at a reduced rate of course), then keep it as a 'surprise'? Don't tell your sister or your parents when/where/what you bought - then they won't be able to comment.

You could also do what your sister does, buy the pressies in advance (I often buy stuff in the sales and store it) then just present the gifts when required. If she says that your niece would like xxx, you can then say 'oh, I've already got her present!'. On second thoughts, you could fib and say that anyway, instead of buying what your told!

Like I say, I buy stuff in the sales and keep it. TBH I'm fed up of buying stuff for one particular section of my family - whatever you buy is wrong in one way or the other, they are sooooo ungrateful and never say thanks! :mad: They say things like 'oh, she doesn't like new things' (so, what do you want, cash?!), doesn't really like soft toys (she's 2), the frock isn't really what we'd pick/our thing etc! :mad:

Families, don't ya just love 'em?!

floss2

Am playing Devil's Advocate here.....maybe you should buy a Boots / HMV / Borders / Waterstones / New Look gift-card & be done with it - then neice can choose what SHE wants, not what her mum wants her to have!

Or spend the £30 on lots of bits like fancy hair slides, socks, smelly & fluffy pens, nail polish etc and wrap each thing separately & put into a gift bag for her....she's not really a kid any more at 11.

Jet

I have one child, all my friends and family have 2 or more kids.

The ones that I buy for, I spend about £10 each on - no close family to buy for. I only wish that the ones that have 3 kids spent £30 on mine!

Doesn't work that way, to be honest, I've never expected it.......... until now.;)

Gale_10

Well I am not sure if I am the best person to advise as I don't do Christmas, but I wouldn't have anyone tell me how to spend my money. I don't know anyone else who is told how much to spend on a person.

If thats what they want to do, why not say I am going away for Christmas and I won't be buying any presents at all? To me, honestly, it sounds like you are being bullied.

I would say "I can't afford to spend thirty pounds on your daughter, so I will spend what I can afford. Please do the same with your presents to my sons." I realise that means she will get rubbish presents for your sons, but it sounds like she is doing that anyway.

Sometimes you just have to stand up to your family. This is one of those times. Keep posting and let us know how you get on.

All the best,

Gale

chocogirl

Yeah, im just going to get the pressie i was going to and let her say something to me, I have nothing to be ashamed of, i take my niece out and treat her during the year, to bits and lunch out, and it doesnt bother me that my sis doesnt do that for mine.
My sis is expecting a baby next year and has told my niece that next year Gran/Grandad (as they spend extra too - to make it so called fair) and me are all going to be spending less money on her as she will now have 2 children, How cruel is that - Im not going to stick to that rule, i will buy what i think is good is for her , and then say, look lets just get what we can afford.
Thanks for your replies, i feel much better.

chocogirl

Jet wrote: »

I have one child, all my friends and family have 2 or more kids.

The ones that I buy for, I spend about £10 each on - no close family to buy for. I only wish that the ones that have 3 kids spent £30 on mine!

Doesn't work that way, to be honest, I've never expected it.......... until now.;)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Stargirl12

have you thought of getting presents from boots on the 3 for 2 deal. we do that for my sisters and thier kids and they all end up with something that costs roughly the same and we save some money!

We spend the same amout on each child (£10-£15) no matter how many kids there are (although there are now 12 so it's getting quite expensive!!)