So fed up

Shineyhappy

My initial reaction to some of these people would be too rude to type on a public forum, but if people dont feel comfortable having that sort of one way conversation with their family, maybe they should consider shopping in places like TK Maxx or other discount shops but make sure you buy well in advance of Christmas and look out for brand names. I picked up a fantastic Brio train set for my friends son for half what it normally sells at and I got told off for spending too much. I did tell my friend the truth and she now shops there too.

No relative is going to remember what a shop like TK Maxx is selling in August as their stock changes all the time and if they are that sad then they need a slap!

Carmina_Piranha_3

minimacka i don't have any daughters but judging by the girls i know they are always happy to have new tat regardless of how much they already have. i'm sure it's not tat anyway. it sounds nice - i can't wait for my niece to grow older so i can buy pretty pink sparkly stuff for her

Nenen

Minimacka, I think the girly box of glitzy bits sounds lovely and all the little girls I know (of which there are hundreds as I'm a primary school teacher ) would LOVE that gift!

It always makes me smile to myself when children in my class tell me what they got for their birthday. I'm currently teaching in a very affluent area and before the event children will often boast about the new wii they will be getting (or whatever the latest expensive 'must-have' is). However, the day after the party is another story entirely... the children talk endlessly about some relatively inexpensive item (£10 or less) usually bought by a friend. It's reminds me of babies who plays more with the box and wrapping paper than the expensive toy!

One of the best (in terms of long-lasting play value) presents we ever bought each of our three children was a cheapish plastic tool-box (one of those with the lift up tray and little compartments) which 'Santa' filled with all things stationery from the pound shop (I'm so glad Santa is a bargain hunter ). I decorated each one using indelible pens and stickers. To go inside they each got: envelopes, sellotape, hole puncher, glue stick, scissors, ruler, pens, pencils, stencils, split pins, highlighters, treasury tags, date stampers (like they use in the library) staplers, ring reinforcers (they LOVED those for some strange reason ) calculator, sticky labels, colouring books, lots of different papers, note books and jotters. I think I spent the equivalent of about £10 each on the contents plus about £7 for the box.

They all took their tool chest with them everywhere they went for years afterwards so always had something to do (kept them out of mischief) when visiting older relatives etc. Fortunately Santa was very kind and sent new supplies each Christmas! In my experience, children just love having lots of little bits and bobs of their own and choosing to make little books, cards etc etc provided hours of fun. Nowdays you can also add lots of lovely gel pens, 'The Anti-Colouring Book' (from ELC) and numerous other bits and bobs all available in cheap shops or supermarkets.

As they've got older the boxes continue to be used... ds1 for fishing tackle, dd for Art stuff (she's now studying Fine Art) and ds2 still uses his for stationery and electronic bits and bobs.

I used to feel soooooo guilty that we couldn't always afford the latest thing for our children but, now they're older and I actually like and respect them as kind, caring, hardworking people, who appear to understand what is truely valuable in life I'm really glad! To the OP... before I go toooooo way off topic in my waffle.... for what it's worth I bet your sister will live to regret the way she is bringing up her daughter when she hits the inevitable consequences of her approach as time goes on! :rolleyes2 :doh: :doh: :doh:

LNieuwhof

I would explain to your sister that whoever buys the present choses!
Regardless of cost, if your niece loves it then that should be all that matters.
Go to toys r us online, they have some REALLy good offers. Get what you think your niece should get - otherwise its not really a gift from you.

choccyface2006

Things are similar in my family I'm afraid

I have two children.

So I spend double on my niece £20 and my sis spends £10 on each of my children so its fair.

I have another sis with no children and a brother too so this is what my mum does.

She spends £100 on each of her children.

My brother = £100

£100 on my sis and her hubby as joint presents = £100 total

£70 on my other sis and £30 on her daughter = £100 total

£30 on me, £20 on each of my daughters, £10 on my other half and £10 on each of his children = £100 total

Its abit mad really when you look at it.

Sarah x

Carmina_Piranha_3

hmmm .... it wouldn't suit our family. people have equal value regardless of how many children they have!

imagine being a little kid in a family like that - oh your mum is pregnant so we're not going to give you a special present next year, we'll split the money between you.

i resented my little sister enough without being told that because of her i would be getting less for christmas :rotfl:

imagine all sitting round at the grandparents house on Christmas day opening gifts - one kid gets a fire engine with flashing lights but the rest of them only get a matchbox car because they're brothers so they don't deserve as much as the only child

calleyw

Glad to see that others can see the madness in christmas.

If you look at the true meaning for christmas it has nothing to do with giving presents. It is about the birth of christ. He was given presents from the three wise men of gold, frankincense and myrrh.

It has nothing to do with spending hundreds of pounds on friends and family and eating and drinking until you burst. And the day ending up with a massive family row. No wonder more people are depressed over christmas than at any other time of the year.

It is about the birth of a little baby and peace and goodwill to all men.

A present is a present no matter how much it costs. It is the thought that counts.

Personally I would tell her that you will spend what you want and will not be dictated to by her or by anyone else. She maybe your sister but she does not run your life.

Maybe you should get some gold (chocolate coins),frankincense and myrrh and give them to her. And explain the real meaning of christmas.

Yours


Calley

bestpud

It's wierd how financial value comes into it isn't it? I'm not religious at all but I do think christmas should be about more than spending money!!!

My sister and I both have 3 children but even when we didn't, it never occured to anyone in our family to set an amount per family. We tend to spend about £15 per child but it isn't rigid and we have never formally set that sum - it's just kind of works out that way.

On my oh's side of the family, we have the most children but I have never thought it necessary to spend more on the others (one sil only child, and one bil with two). I don't think it has ever been an issue for them either - they've never let on if it is anyway!

My mil however, gives a set sum to each family so we draw the short stick every year with that one. One sil is single so she gets 5x the amount each person does in our family. I can't say I've ever thought of protesting/moaning about it though - I don't think I could be so rude! I'd rightly expect to be told where to go, and knowing my mil it would be put in very clear language too!!!

OP - I'd go with your instinct and be firm and clear if confronted about it, but ultimately, don't allow her to apply any guilt trips.

mykidsmum_2

I'm 34 now and as a child we didn't have a lot of money, and I can honestly say from what I can remember of christmas's past is not what toys I received (or didn't) but of who we spent christmas with, putting the tree up, the salvation army playing carols in our street, seeing santa at the co-op, my grandparents arriving xmas eve from wales, thats what makes christmas! not presents. It's a sad situation when christmas is about money, spend what you can and give your niece a happy memory (like the sleepover), it will last longer than any toy and will mean more to her.

Rachie_B

smallpackages wrote: »

im sorry but i have no time for this type of behaviour in families. it sounds as if your sister and neice are spoilt. they obviously have no regard for what christmas is really about. your are right to be angry. you buy what you want to buy and dont be bullied, let them say and think what they like and if shes not happy and takes it out on your kids then they will make up their own minds about her. if i was you i would see my own kids were all right first them buy whatever you can afford.

i totally agree

im shocked TBH !! :eek: