Money Moral Dilemma: Should I miss my sister's wedding?

pollypenny

My sister had planned a family only quiet wedding at Easter. She subsequently changed it to a big bells and whistles one in the summer and expected us to cancel our already booked holiday.

We didn't, as OH didn't have a choice of holidays and we'd already bought the outfits, in the sales, for a cool weather wedding.

It did takes years before peace was restored, though.

humptydumptybits

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

No of course they don't have to go, but you were suggesting it was expected in your circle that they would go, give a cash 'gift' that covered the cost of their attendance, and be ok with that expectation because they would get their turn.

I do think its polite to bring a gift to a wedding, I just firmly believe that the budget for the gift is set by the giver and their finances/wishes not those of the recipient!

I didn't suggest they should go, I said it was expected they cover their plate if they go.

Pollycat

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I do think its polite to bring a gift to a wedding, I just firmly believe that the budget for the gift is set by the giver and their finances/wishes not those of the recipient!

I'd like to thank this ^^^^ more than once. :T

Pixie5740

humptydumptybits wrote: »

I've never had to book time off work for a wedding, never had to hire a car or use trains. I have once stayed overnight in a hotel for a wedding. I've been to alot of weddings.

That's fine if you, your family and your friends have lived all your lives within a fairly small radius.

Another_Mr_Smith

Go to the wedding. Give your sister whatever gift you can manage.

My only sister has vascular dementia, and I'm losing her as her personality changes and she retreats within herself.

I wouldn't want to look back and regret missing her wedding.

(Mrs Smith here, using her husband's MSE account)

patrice1484

Going to a relative's wedding is an important opportunity to strengthen the bonds in a family. If you really want to be at your sister's wedding, then go. You can get her and her spouse a wedding gift at a later date when you can afford it or offer to provide them with a service (like plumbing or joinery) in lieu of something on their register. You can always give them a gift later, but you can't change the date that they marry.

Pollycat

patrice1484 wrote: »

Going to a relative's wedding is an important opportunity to strengthen the bonds in a family. If you really want to be at your sister's wedding, then go. You can get her and her spouse a wedding gift at a later date when you can afford it or offer to provide them with a service (like plumbing or joinery) in lieu of something on their register. You can always give them a gift later, but you can't change the date that they marry.

Hmmmm. :think:
If the OP doesn't go to the wedding, I wonder if the sister will look back and regret imposing such a selfish financial condition on his/her attendance...:whistle:

[Deleted User]

I'm not going to my brothers
wedding in the summer. Nothing to do with presents though....

Hes the type who says hes doing one thing and it never happens. Take everything with a pinch of salt. He told everyone he was getting married but I thought, we'll see.

Never got an invite or told date officially. I found out date via his facebook posts. I'm away on holiday that day. Ryanair flights so can't cancel or anything anyway (And its £1000 total).

So I'm not going. Lets just say I'm not popular....

Red-Squirrel_2

[quote=[Deleted User];75267923]I'm not going to my brothers
wedding in the summer. Nothing to do with presents though....

Hes the type who says hes doing one thing and it never happens. Take everything with a pinch of salt. He told everyone he was getting married but I thought, we'll see.

Never got an invite or told date officially. I found out date via his facebook posts. I'm away on holiday that day. Ryanair flights so can't cancel or anything anyway (And its £1000 total).

So I'm not going. Lets just say I'm not popular....[/QUOTE]

I don’t see how anybody can be offended that you aren’t attending an event you were never invited to!

kerri_gt

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

I don’t see how anybody can be offended that you aren’t attending an event you were never invited to!

Or didn't know the date of when you booked your holiday.