Money Moral Dilemma: Should I miss my sister's wedding?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

She expects my gift to cost at least £100 but I can barely afford the wedding. I don't want to fall out but she's not listening and it's causing me a lot of stress.

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lincroft1710

MSE_Kelvin wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

She expects my gift to cost at least £100 but I can barely afford the wedding. I don't want to fall out but she's not listening and it's causing me a lot of stress.

That is a statement, not a question, surely "should I miss my sister's wedding?" should be in the text, not just the title?

onomatopoeia99

lincroft1710 wrote: »

That is a statement, not a question, surely "should I miss my sister's wedding?" should be in the text, not just the title?

Nah, the question is clear from the title, it doesn't need to be repeated.


The questioner should just go and explain that they don't have the money for a gift. If the sister feels that the gift is more important than their sibling's attendance then they aren't worth bothering about anyway.

Red-Squirrel_2

Say to your sister "I can just about afford to come but I can only afford a small gift, does that mean you'd prefer me not to be there?"


(If she wants you there you should get a small gift, even if its a token for a tenner, and put some thought into it, if she only wants you there if you give her £100, hell no, don't bother.)

Fireflyaway

I think many people have lost the meaning of weddings! It's meant to be a celebration of love and commitment not a way to secure loads of presents and show off with extravagant costumes, food and parties.
Go to the wedding because you may regret it later if you dont. Take a low cost but thoughtful gift. If your sister gives you hassle that's her fault for being ungrateful.

tgroom57

Depends what you mean by "barely afford the wedding".

Your travel costs to get there are essential - new outfits for the occasion less so.

kerri_gt

tgroom57 wrote: »

Depends what you mean by "barely afford the wedding".

Your travel costs to get there are essential - new outfits for the occasion less so.

Depending in where the wedding is, there may also be overnight accommodation required as well, and not everywhere has a cheap Travelodge or Premier Inn / B&B

aintreemaid

Fireflyaway wrote: »

I think many people have lost the meaning of weddings! It's meant to be a celebration of love and commitment not a way to secure loads of presents and show off with extravagant costumes, food and parties.
Go to the wedding because you may regret it later if you dont. Take a low cost but thoughtful gift. If your sister gives you hassle that's her fault for being ungrateful.

So true, in every respect.

Augustus_the_Strong

Just don't buy her a present.

Jcd90

Make a handmade gift - we couldn't afford anything on the wedding list of a close friend so made some yummy chocolates (look up fridge cake recipe, so easy!) and drew a personalised
'just married' style picture (copied style ideas found online) and put it in a nice frame - ended up being one of their favourite gifts! Could crochet or knit a massive cosy blanket for the sofa - the effort into that is so much more special than money spent! But I agree if your sister can't see that then don't bother, just turn up or not and she can grumble whatever you try. Her loss!

Pollycat

This 'dilemma' is particularly poorly-worded.

Is the author of the dilemma intending to miss the wedding so she can give a gift of 'at least £100'?

Personally, I'd miss the wedding because the sister is a grasping, demanding, thoughless b i t c h...:rotfl: