I will cut my coat according to my cloth. {Edited by Forum team} 2019

KatrinaWaves

just_trying wrote: »

Maybe it is, I'm giving my opinion as you but you seem to pick on bits.

You replied to my response to someone else not to you, but you have replied to my response to you before.

You don't have children I believe, I stick to you do hold a grudge on your previous responses, dress it up like you like. We all have problems in life, well most of us do. I've said something here before which didn't go down well and I stick by it.

It's only data ago everyone was saying well done, well she's still looking after the boys and giving them a lOving home, people think care is brilliant, well it's not.

My opinion is as valid as yours. As for hypothetical, you don't know my life or what's happened.

Why do you keep mentioning how he doesn’t have children?

Some people basically support Mooloo regardless. If she is keeping the boys, hurray. If she decides she can’t, she’s so brave. If she kicks her son out she’s doing the right thing. If she lets him back then she is doing the right thing. . And there is definitely a place for that, however, just blanket agreeing regardless isn’t helpful.

I very much doubt anyone here has the same experience as Mooloo to be able to say how she is making the right choice every step of the way. It’s impossible. As has been said previously it’s so many crisis situations after crisis situations.

People don’t look at the big picture. Complaining she isn’t getting enough money to look after the boys when she is on her 5th (6th? More?) holiday of the year! I don’t think anyone with ‘no money’ is going away as often as Mooloo. But everyone just says ‘you need a break! You go girl’ oh no you have no money Social services are evil!!!

It’s a very blinkered and bizarre thread overall. Maybe Mooloo is helped by people telling her how amazing she is doing constantly. How social services are useless and making the wrong decisions (when it doesn’t favour Mooloo) when social decide that she should have the boys then the social are currently fantastic. It’s a rollercoaster thread about a roller coaster life and frankly I find NeilCR’s posts a calm in the storm from a perspective that we don’t get often in here, regardless of whether he has chosen to reproduce or not.

hb2

Just some random thoughts from me, in no particular order -

Children in 'care' don't always end up in a loving, stable family home. The more 'damaged' they are, the less likely they are to find such a home.

Sometimes we have to try and find the 'least bad' course of action.

20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing!

People are talking about the way DS has 'turned out' but he has many decades ahead of him in which to learn and grow. Yes, his behaviour is far from ideal at the moment but he is not necessarily condemned to repeat his mistakes for ever.

The time spent waiting for a court decision will allow everyone to see how they cope and whether the current arrangements are sustainable.

This is a hypothetical situation for most of us but it is very real for Mooloo and the other people concerned. None of us really know how we would react in any given situation until/unless it actually happens.

Bickering amongst ourselves doesn't help anyone/anything.

As for me, I have chosen to offer vague, internet 'support' for Mooloo because that is all I can do. I don't know the people involved in 'real life' and my opinion hasn't been asked for.

Savvy_sewing

KatrinaWaves wrote: »

Why do you keep mentioning how he doesn’t have children?

Some people basically support Mooloo regardless. If she is keeping the boys, hurray. If she decides she can’t, she’s so brave. If she kicks her son out she’s doing the right thing. If she lets him back then she is doing the right thing. . And there is definitely a place for that, however, just blanket agreeing regardless isn’t helpful.

I very much doubt anyone here has the same experience as Mooloo to be able to say how she is making the right choice every step of the way. It’s impossible. As has been said previously it’s so many crisis situations after crisis situations.

People don’t look at the big picture. Complaining she isn’t getting enough money to look after the boys when she is on her 5th (6th? More?) holiday of the year! I don’t think anyone with ‘no money’ is going away as often as Mooloo. But everyone just says ‘you need a break! You go girl’ oh no you have no money Social services are evil!!!

It’s a very blinkered and bizarre thread overall. Maybe Mooloo is helped by people telling her how amazing she is doing constantly. How social services are useless and making the wrong decisions (when it doesn’t favour Mooloo) when social decide that she should have the boys then the social are currently fantastic. It’s a rollercoaster thread about a roller coaster life and frankly I find NeilCR’s posts a calm in the storm from a perspective that we don’t get often in here, regardless of whether he has chosen to reproduce or not.

This is my opinions on my life. If you find my life so interesting that you keep reading then so be it. It may be blinkered and bizarre in your eyes because your luck enough not to be living it.

I have explained many many times before that I am lucky enough to not pay for a lot of my holidays, and I take holidays as often as I can because that's where I tend to spend money that I save.
I put away 10% of my income before I do anything else.
I have been on MSE and follow many savings tips, challenges etc
I use sun holidays at £9.50 each.
I use sky scanners etc and book cheap flights, I have discounts cards for my favourite hotels etc.
I have always traveled before grandchild and I will always travel when ever I can.
I have had many holidays that my old BF paid for.

I don't spend life shopping, smoking or going out. I choose second hand cars, clothes and budget for everything.
It's not about how much money you have it's about how you use it.
I don't think Social Services here are worth their name, and the government has put them into special measures so my opinion is fair in the way this particular authority are not following legislation etc. It's known by everyone that this council is failing.
While I am unable to earn the £150-£180 worth of work each day and for this month I still have the overheads for the shop, and the loan for the cabin to pay, money is a concern.
£50 a week for two children to feed and clothe etc is not a massive amount, but I am grateful for it, and only point out that it is nothing like the fostering Allowance currently at £146 odd per child. However I don't get it for Dgd either. The money I get for her is now £107 but each year it changes because I am means tested.
I presume that will continue to be the way if or while I have children.
I will continue to work on putting 10% away so when we all have a chance we will all continue to have a holiday, although they will probably be more Caravan ones here in the uk.
But don't expect me to give up holidays because I will not.

DS will or will not step up to the plate but I cannot give up on him yet. I do get close in frustration at times.
I am not blinkered about his actions anymore anyway, I have seen it with my own eyes, and I have tried hard to guide him.
My mistakes are because funnily enough I am human, I am not a psychologist, I am not a fortune teller, I am not trained to deal with the law, I am not trained like supper nanny to know how to deal with children, dysfunctional adults or anything else in that vein.
I am a single, working Mum, I have adult children with disabilities that make them vulnerable, I have grandchildren that need love and attention, and I have a business that demands a lot of my time.
I have a mother of 83 who needs support and couldn't go on holidays if I didn't go with her, or my brother and sister take care of her in France.
My mother was a WRAF, my Dad was RAF, they travelled all the time. It's what makes their hearts sing, and I followed suit, I travelled, my sister and brother moved to France eventually. I wanted to go to Portugal. If I can holiday instead of buying a home because of the family demands then I will do that every time.

Savvy_sewing

Birthday code from Shoezone for 10% off so Dgd and I have a pair of summer slip on sandals for the holiday coming, also used my PayPal balance so from the sale of my dog related bits and pieces.
Quidco cash back in form of Amazon vouchers set 4 Fitbit bracelets and one silver one, plus kindle book, for £3.77next job is the annual car insurance to do
Bye better get these boys ready for the party. X

Savvy_sewing

Dad took boys to the party, I did my car insurance, via Quidco, and got insurance sorted for £220.75 including roadside breakdown and legal aid etc with £25.59 cash back eventually.
So that's me happy.
Two cinema tickets for Dgd and my self for tomorrow evening at £11.98 for the pair of us.
So tomorrow night we will go to the cinema. ( and I will probably take sweets and popcorn with us, saving even further.

Yesterday I went down to the coop for milk and hit the yellow sticker time, so our bread today was 10p and our Milk was 12p.
I will have salad tonight and that too was reduced yesterday. I am going to boil some eggs to go with my salad.
Dgd fancies noodles so for once I will let her.

The boys will have birthday party food so only DS then and he can raid the fridge or cupboards.

So let's concentrate on the budget and the meals etc for a while rather than the inadequacy of the situation I find myself in.

Something to focus on other than misery etc

Savvy_sewing

Time to sleep. I have been reading in bed for the last 45 minutes or so. The cough is hurting my chest. But now I seem to have itchy arms too?
Yet I used the same product in my bath as I did yesterday? I haven't eaten much as I don't fancy anything much so I doubt that's the cause. Hope that I will get to the bottom of it soon before I scratch myself daft.

Tomorrow I must remember it's time to change my fuel tariff I forgot with everything that's been going on. I really dislike paperless billing as I miss things. I need stuff written down in front of me.

BrassicWoman

you know you don't need to justify your budget to anyone? Feels like you are having a strong reaction to one point of view. You can ignore it if you want

Sleep well!

Savvy_sewing

Just trying to focus on something else other than the kids.
But did get a bit miffed at the pop about the holidays. I have said all along that I get help with them.
I suppose I felt that certain person thinks I am lying about my life and I don't like that much.
But it is time to focus on dragging the budget back to make sure that I don't loose the plot with it, and I know that it has been stretched with having DS and the boys.
My Mum told me on Friday that I am not going to be paying for anything on the holiday she has it covered with her fun money. So I will not have to divide my money into envelopes for each day this time. I have Euro's left from the last break in April when I had gone looking for a place for Mum etc. She has abandoned the idea of long term rental because of my situation at the moment, and is just going to aim for several holidays a year depending on how my situation works out and How my brother can help. My sister seems to have stopped calling her and got the Ump because Mum didn't go to see her when she was in France with my brother in July.

Anyway as this holiday is definitely a total freebie it means that I can continue to put my 10% away in to savings and hopefully I will be able to take the children away eventually. The last time I booked for the children their Mum didn't let them come. At the moment we cannot take them abroad but it might be possible to do something around October halfterm if nobody minds and I find a reasonable deal.
Might not be the weather to borrow a tent.

So today I am going to work for an hour, back for contact with Mum, then back to work to pack up. Today is the last day the shop is open. The lady that has kept it going for me starts a new job tomorrow. Then I will be packing up and getting DS to put everything in the car and drive it to Mums or here depending on space etc.

Fuel. Must switch my tariffs as it's gone onto a standard rate and up £15 odd a month.

hb2

Mooloo, I know what you mean about the paperless bills, they do make it much easier to miss things!

I expect you will have very mixed feelings today with the shop closing (((hugs)))

vandanfc

Remember to check cashback sites as well as uswitch, energy saving club etc as they sometimes have the same tarrifs with more cashback. But check carefully as some tarrifs are not quite the same.